Becoming a big sister is a pretty big deal. Especially if you happen to be just two years old.

You can’t even control your impulse to color on the walls, and yet all the grown-ups you love are expecting you to welcome a new little person into your family with open arms:

• They don’t want you to act jealous,
• They want you to understand when the baby needs all their attention, and
• They certainly don’t want you to throw tantrums when things don’t go your way.

I’ve now accompanied three daughters on their journey of becoming a big sister, and I’ve seen firsthand that you definitely can minimize jealousy and acting out from your older child in reaction to the new baby. But to do that, you’ll need to prepare your older child for this big life change.

And one of the absolute best ways to prepare your child to become a big sister is to read her lots of high-quality books about becoming a big sister.

Notice I said high-quality.

The Problem With Most Big Sister Books

Unfortunately, a lot of the typical big sister books present the experience of becoming a big sister as a completely negative life change.

If those are the only books you read to your child before she becomes a big sister, she’s likely to get more stressed out before the baby even arrives.

For example, suppose you’re pregnant and every time you run into anyone you know or you encounter strangers at the grocery store, they say something like this:

Better get lots of rest while you still can! The sleep deprivation will take years off your life.

The baby will wreck your body, and you’ll never look as good as you used to.

You’ll probably get postpartum depression. It’s the worst.

Uh…thanks for the support, everyone? You’d develop PTSD before the new baby even arrived.

But that’s basically what most big sister books tell your child: Life as you know it is over. Everything you love and cherish will now belong to someone else first, and you’ll be an afterthought. But hey, time to get excited to become a big sister!

Still…Becoming a Big Sister Does Have Its Challenges

You can’t pretend life after the new baby will be exactly the same. Your child will definitely experience some new challenges.

For example, one way to strike fear into the heart of any child is to suggest that her parent may abandon her. Having a new baby plays right into that fear, and you’ll want to tackle it head-on.

So of course it’s always a good idea to go into any life change with your eyes open to some of the challenges you’ll experience. But it’s not exactly helpful to focus only on the negatives without exploring the positives you may appreciate.

This is why when you’re looking for big sister books for your child, it’s important to look for books that strike the right balance. Because yes, books about becoming a big sister should touch on the challenging parts of being an older sibling, but they should also point out the fun and heartwarming parts of stepping into the role of big sister.

The absolute best big sister books take it one step further. They present the challenges of becoming a big sister, then show the older sibling feeling empowered to work through those challenges and come up with their own solutions.

Related: The Ultimate List of the Best Picture Books, Endorsed by Kids And Parents

25 Most Wonderful Books About Becoming a Big Sister

Below, you’ll find the big sister books that will prepare your older child for a younger sibling in the best way possible.

Some quick background: To create this list, I read nearly 150 children’s books about becoming a big sister. Over the last 10 years, I’ve read the best books to each of my three daughters to help them get ready to become a big sister. The books that made this list have an enthusiastic seal of approval from three actual big sisters who all have their own unique taste in books.

Here’s what makes this list of books about becoming a big sister different than most:

• Instead of instilling fear, these books will get your child excited about the new baby.
• Instead of fostering a “me versus baby” mentality from day one, these big sister books show your child how the whole family will work together to take care of the baby (and have fun doing it!).
• Instead of serving as social proof for your child that she should hate the new baby, these books set the perfect example for how to be a loving big sister.

When you’re looking for the best “how to be a big sister” book for your child, use this list to find positive, heartwarming big sister books that your almost-big-sister will love. And if you know of another big sister book that would be a good fit for this list, let me know in the comments!

Note: indicates my family’s absolute top favorites on the list. These are the books my kids can’t get enough of!

Related: 7 Musts for Your Second Baby Registry That Will Save Your Sanity

The Best All-Around Big Sister Books

These big sister books are the ones my kids asked for again and again (and again). But that’s okay by me because these are the best books about becoming a big sister that I’ve ever read. They’re a delight to read aloud!

1. Little Miss, Big Sis^†—One of my kids’ favorite books of all time is Plant a Kiss, and this book features the same main character. With sweet rhyming text, your child will get a realistic preview of the ups and downs of being a big sister. We read this one just about every day.

^† This site is reader-supported. When you buy through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission.

2. Wolfie the Bunny—This book makes my kids (and me) giggle every time. At first, the main character is unsure of her new little brother, but she comes around in the end after an experience that bonds them. Side note: One line in this book has lived on as a running joke in our family since the first time we read it. Love this story!

3. Maple—Before Maple was even born, her parents planted a tree in her honor. She adores her tree and considers it a friend. Then one day, a sapling pops up next to her tree, and Maple discovers she’ll soon be a big sister. The story grows from there, and it’s a lovely way to introduce the idea of welcoming a new baby into the family. If you like this one, be sure to check out the rest of the series: Maple & Willow Together and Maple & Willow Apart.
4. The Sister Book—You can’t go wrong with Todd Parr. This ode to sisterhood is sweet and funny, and my daughters ask me to read it regularly. Simple text, bright illustrations, and a positive message about being a big sister.

5. Little Big Girl—This is a sweet story about becoming a big sister and sharing the wonders of your world with your new baby. I love how this book sets the soon-to-be big sister up as the new baby’s guide through life.
6. Lola Reads to Leo—This simple story is about how a big sister reads to her little brother to connect with him. Perfect for big sisters who love books! What I especially love about this one is that the story reassures your child that you’ll still have time for her.
7. Flora’s Very Windy Day—This one is by the same author of The Penderwicks series, which is one our all-time favorite chapter books. In this picture book, big sister Flora starts out annoyed by her little brother, then starts feeling protective of him and comes to appreciate who he is. (By the way, for older kids, The Penderwicks makes the perfect read-aloud chapter book about being a big sister!)
8. The Big Sibling Book—This activity book doubles as a keepsake when your baby is older. Your child can get ready for her little sibling with questions to answer like “what will you teach the baby?”, sticker activities, and pages for recording baby’s firsts. This is designed for ages 2 to 6, but my 9-year-old loved it too. We just skipped over the few pages that were geared towards younger kids.

Related: 18 Things All Sisters Should Do Together Before They Turn 18

Books to Get Your Child Ready for Life With the New Baby

One of the toughest parts of becoming a big sister is adjusting to what life is like with a new baby. These big sister books do a beautiful job of previewing life with a baby in a kid-friendly, positive way.

1. Eat Sleep Poop—My 4-year-old loves this book so much that she memorized it start to finish. This one is written from the perspective of the baby explaining what they do all day, and it makes my kids giggle every time.
2. Littles: And How They Grow—This book is so incredibly sweet, stepping through all the things you do to take care of babies. What I love most about it is how it encourages your older child to think of the baby as theirs to take care of, too. And goshdarnit if that last page doesn’t make me choke up, every time!

3. Everywhere Babies—What a lovely little book! In this one, you’ll find diversity of babies and families, heartwarming details about life with babies, and the most gorgeous illustrations. My kids ask for me to read this one every day, and they nearly have every word memorized.
4. Ten Little Fingers and Ten Little Toes—Your older child will love this book for the pictures of babies from all over the world. Plus, the “ten little fingers and ten little toes” refrain gives you an opportunity to count or tickle your older child’s toes, reinforcing that she was once a baby. It’s also helpful to point out what she has in common with her new baby sibling. By the way, when you get to the last page, be sure to follow the book’s lead and give your child kisses! Guaranteed giggles.
5. Love That Baby—Unfortunately, this book is out of print, but you can still pick up a used copy for a good price on Amazon. This is a sweet and straightforward book that explains what life will be like with the new baby and how your older child will fit in. This is a great fit for younger kids who aren’t quite ready for the more involved guide you get in Babies Don’t Eat Pizza. (See next bullet.)
6. Babies Don’t Eat Pizza—I wish I’d found this one for my older two kids because my third child could not get enough of this book before her little brother was born. It’s on the long side because it’s more informative guide than story, but you can break it up and read a couple pages at a time.
7. The Menino—I discovered this when helping my second child get ready to be a big sister, and she ate it up. This story is longer than most picture books, so you can try reading it a few pages at a time. The dry humor in this book cracks me up every time!
8. I Am a Big Sister! or I’m a Big Sister—You’ll find these two on just about every list of big sister books, but I would recommend picking just one of the two. The first has simple rhyming text with a straightforward run-down of what life with a baby will be like, plus how the big sister can fit into that new life and be responsible for the baby too. The second book is very similar in that it steps through what life will be like with the baby, but it ends by reassuring the big sister that she still has a special place in her parents’ hearts. These books weren’t my kids’ favorites of all the big sister books we read, but these two would be a good fit for a very young child who’s about to become a big sister. After the simple introduction these books provide, you could progress to the stories with more depth that will give your kiddo more support during the transition to big sis.

Related: 10 Picture Books About Love That Will Make Your Kids Feel Absolutely Loved

Books to Comfort Your Child

Your child may be nervous about becoming a big sister because it may feel like the baby is “replacing” her or that you won’t have time for your big kid after the baby arrives. While these stories aren’t all explicitly about becoming a big sister, they make the perfect big sister books because they reassure your child that your connection is still as strong as ever.

1. You Were the First—The child in this book is a boy, but it’s not explicitly called out, and my oldest daughter still loved it. This sweet book will help reassure your child that you will still love them even after the new baby arrives.
2. You’re All My Favorites—Each bear cub in this story wonders if their parents love them less because of how they’re different from their siblings, and their parents answer in such a sweet way.
3. You Made Me a Mother—You should know that as I’m reading this book, it gives me a huge lump in my throat…every time. It’s not that it’s sad—just terribly heartwarming. As with You Were the First, this one is perfect to read aloud to your first child.
4. No Matter What—This book delivers the message that you love your child even when they make mistakes or drive you a little bananas. Such an important message to reinforce before you welcome a new baby into the family. This is one of my kids’ all-time favorites, and we even pack it every time we go on vacation!

Books About All the Waiting

Waiting is hard for little kids, especially when you’re waiting for something so exciting! Just about every night when I was pregnant, my daughters would tell me, “I just want the baby to be born right now!” Help your older child cope with the waiting by reading these big sister books.

1. Hello In There—My toddler loved lifting the flaps that show how the baby’s growing, and she related to how hard it is to wait to meet your little sibling.
2. Mama’s Belly—This is a beautiful, tender story about the anticipation of becoming a big sister and making plans for how you’ll help take care of the baby.
3. A Most Unusual Day—This lovely story of adoption opens the door to talking about different ways babies can join their families.

Books That Answer Tough Questions

Your older child may not ask “Where do babies come from?”, but if she does, you’ll want to have one of these big sister books ready to go. I recommend starting with The Baby Tree first, then you can progress to the next one if your child is ready for more information.

1. The Baby Tree—This is such an adorable way to answer the question of how the new baby was made! The story strikes the perfect balance of being biologically accurate without getting too detailed. Full disclosure: The main character is a big brother, but that’s not central to the story.
2. What Makes a Baby—When your child is ready for more information, this matter-of-fact book about where babies come from is perfect for preschoolers to grade-schoolers. Written by a sexuality educator, this book covers conception, gestation, and birth. For another accurate but kid-friendly answer to “Where do babies come from?” try Where Willy Went. For both of these books, I recommend reading them first to make sure you’re comfortable with how much information they provide. And as you’re reading, always feel free to leave certain bits out if you’re not ready to cover everything quite yet.

Your Turn

What are your favorite books about becoming a big sister? Share in a comment below!

The post 25 Best Big Sister Books to Get Your Child Ready to Be a Big Sis appeared first on Happy You, Happy Family.

My babies hate sleep.

No, that’s not exactly right. My babies love sleep. But after three babies in the span of eight years, I’ve lived this inconvenient truth all three times: My baby will only sleep on me.

We’ve tried it all, I promise you. And we have confirmation from two separate babysitters, both well-versed in sleep-training even the most stubborn of babies. More often than not, our babies will sleep only when held.

By baby number three, I’ve made some peace with this reality. It helps to know that by the age of two or three, my kids’ sleep sucks approximately 37 percent less. Before my littlest one was born, I also learned a few things about baby sleep that opened my eyes to how I was getting in the way of my baby’s sleep. (More on that in a bit.)

Even so, she still struggles with sleep. And I’ve come to believe that there must be something physiological about my babies that for the first couple of years, they need to sleep on or near me in order to thrive.

What I Do When My Baby Will Only Sleep on Me

All this means that in the eight years since I first became a mom, I’ve spent a fair bit of time stuck under sleeping babies.

• With my first baby, I used the time to read the Hunger Games trilogy. (Also the Twilight series, but I’m not proud of it.)
• With my second baby, I used the time to write on this blog.
• And with my last baby, I wrote a book to help parents find happiness in the chaos of parenting life.

But sometimes, you don’t feel like being super productive. And for those times, I have a few suggestions for you.

Related: The Month My Baby Wouldn’t Sleep – And What I Did About It

7 Things to Do When You’re Stuck Under a Sleeping Baby

I consider myself an expert on what to do when you’re trapped under a sleeping baby. And so the next time you find yourself stuck holding a snoozer, I got you covered, my friend.

Here’s what you do:

1. Stare at your baby and savor this moment. Your sweet baby won’t be this tiny for long! If you do this savoring thing properly, it will use up 2.7 seconds, so let’s get to the rest of the suggestions…
2. Make a mental list of everything you should be doing but aren’t. A sink full of dirty dishes, a leaning tower of clean laundry to fold on top of the dryer, and cat hair tumbleweeds in every corner of your house? Add them to the list! Paying off your hospital bills from baby’s birth or – more realistically – calling the hospital to negotiate a 72-part payment plan? Add it to the list!
3. Watch a movie you’ve been meaning to watch for a long time. This is your chance for some high-quality “me time” with no interruptions, so the sky’s the limit! But you will want to keep it pretty quiet so you don’t wake the baby, so try to pick something with very little dialogue. On second thought, best to stick with nature documentaries.
4. Read something educational out loud to your baby in a soothing tone, such as The No-Cry Sleep Solution^† or Go the F**k to Sleep.

^† This site is reader-supported. When you buy through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission.

5. Perfect your phone photography skills so when your baby wakes up, you can post the most kickass baby photos Instagram has ever seen. A few ideas: a still life masterpiece of the pile of dirty diapers you’ve been collecting in the corner of the bedroom, a biting commentary on our stuff addiction as told by a collage of baby toys, parenting books, and empty Frappuccino bottles, or a close-up of cat hair tumbleweed to represent the stress and overwhelm of modern-day parenting life.
6. Being stuck on the couch or in the bed is no excuse for being lazy. Do 200 calf raises, leg lifts, or butt squeezes. I have no idea if butt squeezes are effective, but you’re moving a muscle and that has to count for something.
7. Do some ninja training! Slowly, ever so slowly, inch yourself out from under your baby. No, make that centimeter yourself out from under your baby. This will take you at least 15 minutes if you do it correctly. And then, at last, you’ll be free! You’ll sneak out of the bedroom, close the door so, so quietly, turn on the baby monitor, and take a deep breath. You can tackle those dishes, fold the laundry, and maybe even vacuum a tumbleweed or two. But first, a potty break while your hands are empty. And as you turn toward the bathroom…guess what? Your baby’s up! Next time, try being more ninja.

Baby Only Sleeps When Held? Here’s What Helped Me

If you were blessed with a non-sleeping baby too, you need this book by my friend Lauren: For the Love of Sleep: Practical Baby Sleep Solutions for the Everyday Mama.

Lucky for me, I read this book before my third baby was born, and I was able to avoid some of the hurdles I created for myself with my previous two babies. My littlest one still needs to nap on me some days, but it’s once in a while instead of every single nap. I can do the dishes, fold the laundry, and vacuum, too. I don’t do all that, but I could if I wanted to. All thanks to this book:

But if you’re in a tough spot as in “I need a sleep fix right now, or I’m going to run away from my family and hide out in an Appalachian shack 200 miles from civilization,” I highly recommend this free 3-part video series from my friend Rachel. She’s had five babies in five years, so she knows what she’s talking about. In these three short videos, you’ll learn the biggest baby sleep struggles – and how to fix them starting now.

Your Turn

What’s your best tip for killing time when you’re stuck under a sleeping baby? Share in a comment below!

The post 7 Things to Do When You’re Stuck Under a Sleeping Baby appeared first on Happy You, Happy Family.

I gained a lot of weight during my last pregnancy. A lot. My diet was fine, I exercised when I could, and I didn’t have gestational diabetes. Still, my weight gain was crazy high.

I talked a big game about being okay with it, and I was. I still am.

My body did exactly what it needed to do in order to grow a perfectly healthy 9 pound 3 ounce baby girl.

But here’s the problem.

It’s hard to accept 55 pounds of pregnancy weight gain when that cute baby is on the outside and it’s three months postpartum, but you still look real damn pregnant.

Not to mention I’m older this time, and my post-baby body isn’t bouncing back as fast as it did last time.

So I got a fitness tracker, I’m walking every day provided it’s not 100 degrees out, and we cut our pizza habit down to once a week. And I’m nursing.

Even so, that postpartum belly won’t budge.

A Decision

Six weeks postpartum is about my limit for continuing to wear maternity pants. Something about pulling that big stretchy band up and over an empty, flabby belly gets depressing after a while.

But at the 6-week mark, I was nowhere close to fitting back into my pre-pregnancy clothes. So I broke down and bought two pairs of yoga pants.

Athleisure, I hear the kids call it nowadays.

Which sounds trendy and all, but it doesn’t change the fact that every single day, I wear the same freaking yoga pants.

And my shirts? They don’t fit either. Thanks to the gift that nursing brings, mainly. But also because my pre-pregnancy style is to wear slim-fitting shirts, and “slim-fitting” on this postpartum body looks a lot like “sausage casing.”

So I went and splurged on five new t-shirts at Target, $6 apiece. Sky blue, hot pink, burgundy, light purple, and dark purple. That’s the extent of variety in my wardrobe right now.

Mornings Are the Worst

I go to the closet and pull out my mom uniform.

I set the yoga pants and the cheapo t-shirt on the bathroom counter and stare at them.

I know I need to hurry and get dressed because the toddler’s been quiet for more than five minutes, and the baby in her bouncy seat is starting to fuss.

It’s past the time when we need to leave to take the second-grader to school, and I still haven’t nagged her to stop playing LEGOs and get her shoes on and brush her hair and why didn’t you give me this homework last night if you wanted me to check it?

But I stare.

Those blasted yoga pants.

Every couple weeks, I lose it and do something crazy.

I try on my pre-pregnancy clothes.

Which is worse.

Not so much a muffin top as a portobello mushroom.

Related: 7 Tips for Postpartum Clothes That Won’t Make You Look Pregnant

This Morning, Something Changed

It was one of those mornings, where my hatred for my yoga pants bubbles up in my chest. My husband Ty had already left to take our oldest to school, so I was home with the two little ones.

My toddler sat nearby on the bathroom floor with a stack of her older sister’s Nancy Drew books and flipped through them, one by one.

Ty and I were meeting for lunch—nowadays with a newborn and a toddler to wrangle, we don’t do it very often anymore. I wanted to look nice. Or at least less like a yoga-pants-wearing, sleep-deprived mombie.

First I pulled out my trusty first-trimester jeans. The ones that are two sizes too big normally.

I couldn’t get them zipped. I grabbed the belly spilling over the edges, and I sighed.

My child looked up. “What do, Mama?”

“Oh, I’m just trying to find something to wear.”

Peeled those off and tried a pair of relaxed fit jeans.

Same.

“Ugh,” I said.

“Mama okay?” she asked.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” Although hearing myself reply reminded me of Sadness from Inside Out.

I tried a black skirt with a stretchy band and turned to the side to see my profile in the mirror.

Pregnant. I looked pregnant.

Maxi skirt? Lumpy. Shorts? Bumpy.

I came back to where those yoga pants sat on the counter, and I picked them up.

But as I started unfolding them to put on, I couldn’t do it.

I squeezed them into a ball and threw them through the bathroom door into the bedroom, where they hit the opposite wall.

“Mama?”

Her eyes wide.

“Mama’s frustrated,” I said.

“Mama throw?”

Oh, great. I spend all this time trying to teach her not to lose her temper and throw things, and then I go and do it right in front of her.

“Mama got frustrated and threw her pants, but they’re soft so they won’t hurt anyone,” I said.

“Oh,” she said. And went back to her Nancy Drew.

Related: The Dirty Little Secret About Pregnancy Weight Gain

Temper, Temper

The worst part about having a fit and throwing something when you’re a work-from-home parent is that eventually, you just have to get over yourself and clean up the mess you made.

Which is double annoying because you don’t even have time to get the basic housework done in between sprints of your other work, and now you’ve added an extra task.

Still mad at those stupid pants, I retrieved them and headed back to the bathroom.

I put them on and refused to look at myself in the mirror.

I stepped over the pile of Nancy Drew books on my way to the closet to pick a shirt, and she stood up to follow me.

Blue, pink, or purple?

The baby started fussing in the bouncy seat on the bathroom counter.

But I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I may be stuck with the pants, but I couldn’t wear the same shirt again.

I pulled a pre-pregnancy shirt off the hanger and put it on as I walked back to the mirror, my child trailing me.

“That looks horrible,” I mumbled. The baby fussed louder.

To the closet for another one. That one over my head, and back to the mirror.

“Horrible.” The baby agreed, I think.

To the closet again.

I scanned the hangers, picturing myself in each shirt and getting more and more frustrated with each mental image.

Finally, my eyes settled on a shirt with potential.

Just an Anthropologie t-shirt from the days when we had just one kid and I still had a desk job, so we were okay spending $30 on a t-shirt because it wouldn’t be subject to baby spit-up or diaper blowouts or collateral toddler-found-a-Sharpie damage.

Gray with light pink stripes. Soft and flowy.

I pulled it over my head and headed to the mirror, the toddler on my heels.

“Hmm,” I said. “Not great, but not horrible.”

Related: Got Greasy Hair Postpartum? Here’s a Simple + Cheap Fix

The Turning Point

I picked up the baby and saw we were close to blowout territory, so I turned back to the closet to lay her on the changing table.

My toddler pulled out a wipe before I even had her sister’s onesie unbuttoned, and she held it up to me.

I smiled. “Thank you, sweetie.”

She stood next to me during the diaper change and just watched. Unusually quiet.

After I got the baby buttoned back up again, her big sis reached a little hand up to my shirt and felt the fabric.

“Mama look nice,” she said.

I looked down at her. “What did you say?”

She smiled. “Mama look nice.”

“Oh honey.”

And my eyes felt hot.

I realized she’d been watching me that whole time.

Watching me frustrated with my body.

Watching me grab my post-baby belly flab and frown.

Watching me call my body “horrible.”

A Painful Reminder

Most of my life, I’ve worried about my dress size and my weight and whether my belly pooch was too…poochy.

As a teenager, I studied Seventeen magazine and thought if I could just look like Alyssa Milano, a boy would finally ask me out on a date.

In college, I would stare at my profile in the mirror and wish I could just slice off my belly. Even though I was at a perfectly average weight for my height.

Funny enough, it was gaining weight during my first pregnancy that pushed me in the direction of finally accepting my body as it is.

After a lifetime of battling my own body image issues, I went and modeled the most unhealthy behavior possible for my toddler.

My toddler who’s always watching.

Learning from what I do. What I say.

My Promise to My Post-Baby Body

From now on, I will accept my postpartum belly pooch.

I won’t stop trying to get rid of the dang thing.

But I will accept it.

I will set a good example for my toddler and my second-grader and my newborn who’s already started watching me too.

I will talk to my daughters about how strong my body is after growing three healthy girls.

And for now, I will pull on my yoga pants one leg at a time, then look at myself in the mirror and say:

“Mama look nice.”

By the Way…

Ty never got to see me in that fancy t-shirt at lunch that day.

It became a casualty to a mid-morning blowout.

RIP, soft and flowy Anthrolpologie shirt.

Want More?

Check out 7 Tips for Postpartum Clothes That Won’t Make You Look Pregnant.

Your Turn

How did you make peace with your body after pregnancy? Share in a comment below!

The post The Uncomfortable Truth About Your Post-Baby Body appeared first on Happy You, Happy Family.

A few months ago, a friend who was expecting her second little one asked me to write a post on how to keep breastfeeding when you’re returning to work after maternity leave.

I don’t talk about breastfeeding much here because:

1. Nursing can be a challenge, especially at the beginning. It works out for some mamas and babies—and not for others. No need to add more stress to your life if your baby is getting the nutrition she needs.
2. You can find plenty of breastfeeding tips out there from people who are pretty gung-ho on the matter and eager to help you.

But sometimes it can feel like all that breastfeeding advice is from folks so determined to help you that their excitement is a little suffocating.

And yet, on the other side, you have some folks who are hellbent on being naysayers. That sweet friend who asked me to write this? While she was pregnant, a co-worker told her it would be silly to even try to keep breastfeeding at work. That it “just wouldn’t be worth the trouble.”

What’s it to that person if my friend wants to give it the old college try?

Here’s what I say: Do what you want. If you want to keep nursing while you’re working, go for it. If it’s adding too much stress to your life, think about stopping. Formula will be an added monthly expense, but if it’s your sanity at stake, it’s worth it.

No guilt. No stress. Your baby will be fine, either way.

6 Secrets to Success for Breastfeeding at Work

With both my girls, I kept breastfeeding after returning to work. Was it a pain in the butt? Yes. Am I happy I kept going past the initial hiccups? Yes. If I had stopped, would that have made me a selfish mom? Heck no.

If you want to keep breastfeeding after returning to work, here are the practical tips that helped me keep going, even when it was tough. A lot of these breastfeeding tips overlap with what you’ll hear from the experts. The difference is that I just want you and your baby to be happy and healthy—whether that means you keep nursing or switch to formula or some combination of the two.

Before we get to the tips, a quick disclaimer: This post will not teach you everything you need to know about nursing and pumping. There are whole books about the basics of breastfeeding^†. This post focuses on the gotchas of nursing while working. In my experience and from talking to my mom friends, these are the areas most likely to trip you up on your goal of continuing to nurse after you go back to work.

^† This site is reader-supported. When you buy through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission.

Read on, and let me know in a comment if you have any tips to add!

1. Get Your Baby Ready

While you’re at work, your baby’s caregiver will give him bottles of your pumped milk. This means your baby will need to practice drinking from a bottle before your first day back to work comes.

You might hear conflicting advice on the right time to introduce the bottle to a breastfed baby. In general, you don’t want to introduce the bottle super early (like the first month or so) because your baby is still figuring out how the whole breastfeeding thing works.

On the other hand, you don’t want to leave bottle introduction until a day or two before your first day back at work. Your baby may need more time than that, and if he doesn’t take to the bottle right away your stress level will skyrocket. You’ll start to panic that your baby will STARVE while you’re at work.

Two weeks before you’re scheduled to be back at work is a decent amount of time to introduce the bottle. That’s what I did with my youngest. It worked well, even with my stubborn baby.

Exactly how do you introduce the bottle? For a decent step-by-step with some practical tips, check out Introducing Your Breastfed Baby to the Bottle or Cup.

2. Scope It Out

On your first day back at work, you don’t want to find yourself leaking through your shirt while frantically searching for the lactation room. Here are a few things you can do to make sure you know what to expect:

1. Before your first day back, call your HR department and ask if lactation rooms are available. If the answer is no, ask for their ideas on how to accommodate your needs. All you really need is a clean, private room with a power outlet. They could give you the key to an empty storage room, or they could have a lock installed on your office door. But if they tell you to use the bathroom, tell them to try again. According to U.S. law, most workplaces have to provide accommodations for you. Just in case you need it, here’s a summary of federal and state breastfeeding laws.
2. The first thing to do on your first day? Well before the time you need to pump, find the lactation room or whatever space has been provided for you. That way, if you have trouble finding it, you’ve given yourself plenty of time to track it down or call HR for help.
3. Now scope out the room. Make a mental list of any improvements you’d like to make:
   • Is there a lock on the door? If not, make a sign that says “Private—Do Not Enter.” Or buy an official-looking sign and ask HR to reimburse you.
   • Is the chair decently comfortable? I’ll get to this in a bit, but the more comfortable you are, the more successful you’ll be at getting your body to comply with being hooked up to a machine and giving up the goods. If it’s a folding chair or a stool, ask if you can use another chair from somewhere else in the office. If that’s not possible, think about bringing in a better chair from home. (Just remember to label it with your name.)
   • Is there a table for your pump and/or laptop? You don’t need anything fancy here, but trying to balance your laptop in your lap and hold the pump to your chest may not be very comfortable.
   • Is the lighting gross and harsh? The lactation room at my office had an unpleasant overhead fluorescent light, but some lovely nursing mother who paved the way before me acquired a floor lamp for the room, with nice, warm white light—and a foot switch! Again, ask if you can repurpose a lamp from elsewhere in the office. If you can’t do that, think about bringing a lamp from home.
   • Does the room have a sink and paper towels for cleaning your pump pieces after you’re done? If not, find the closest bathroom where you’ll need to get your cleaning done.

3. Stock Up

Before your first day back, consider picking up a few essentials:

• A reliable breast pump. If you already have a pump, great. If not, get one before you go back to work and start pumping every day to get some milk stored up for your baby for that first day you’ll be gone. I’ve used both Medela and Ameda pumps, and they were decent. But I LOVE my Spectra pump that I got after Bailey was born. The Spectra is more comfortable for me to use than other pumps I’ve tried, plus it seems to get more milk out than those other brands.
• Extra pump parts. On my second week back to work after having Bailey, I went to the lactation room at my scheduled time, got everything set up, and sat down to pump. The motor turned on, but there was no suction. I checked all the connections, and everything looked good. I tried again. Nope. As it turned out, one of the tubes had some condensation built up and needed to be dried out. Easy fix if you have an extra tube on hand, which I did not. On another day, I got to the room and pulled out all the pump parts and realized I was missing a kind of important part—the flange. I didn’t have an extra on hand, so I had to make a quick run to Babies R Us to pick one up, then rush back to work and pump before my next meeting. Take it from me: Always keep a full set of spare parts in your pump bag.

• A nice bag to carry your pump. Look for something that can pass for a professional bag with less of an “I attach this thing to my boobs to suck them dry” vibe. A lot of pumps come with bags, but I found a fun work bag at an outlet store that worked just fine. This pink bag is so pretty! It’s pricey, but you deserve to treat yourself for making the commitment to keep nursing your baby after returning to work. If you’re ordering online, just be sure to check the dimensions of the bag and compare to the size of your pump to make sure it will fit, along with a bag of pump parts and a cooler bag for the pumped milk.
• Extra nursing pads. Keep them in your desk at work and in your pump bag. No matter how prepared you are, you will probably get delayed on pumping on some days. Meetings will run over, and people will stop by your desk for unplanned visits. They won’t know that your breasts are about to burst, so have extra pads on hand in case you need a fresh pair. I tried reusable pads, but they felt lumpy and made me self-conscious that they were vaguely visible through my shirt. Here’s my favorite brand of disposable nursing pads. They absorbed a lot, and I couldn’t see any signs of them when I was dressed.
• Cleaning supplies. My absolute least favorite part of pumping at work? Having to clean all the parts after I’m done. It’s tedious, and I’m ready to get back to my desk. It feels like it takes forever to clean all those nooks and crannies! You can buy sterilizing bags for your parts that you just throw in the microwave. Or you can rinse everything out and ask your partner to be the official pump part sterilizer every night. Check out the third tip in 7 Baby Must Haves That Make the Perfect Gifts for New Dads for all the supplies he’ll need to fulfill his duties in this important role.

4. Take Care of Yourself

When you’re pregnant, everyone tells you to keep hydrated and eat healthy and get plenty of rest. But you know when all that is even more important? When you’re a nursing mama.

Once you get back into the swing of things at work, you might get caught up in something and forget to break for lunch. You might not get up to refill your water bottle because you’re trying to get an important email out. And you’ll be sorely missing the days when you could catch up on sleep by joining your little one in a midday nap.

Anytime I let one of these areas slip, I could tell the difference when I sat down for my afternoon pump session. Tiny, tiny amounts of milk. My decreased milk supply would stress me out because that would mean my baby wouldn’t have enough milk lined up for the next day.

Here are a few tricks that worked for me:

• Drinks. When I’m pregnant or nursing, I can’t get enough of COLD water. My insulated water bottle was an essential part of staying hydrated at work. I took it with me to meetings, the lactation room, and even to go out to lunch so I could have a few sips in the car. On some days, I’d also bring an Honest Tea juice box for a fun treat. What I love about their juice is that it’s mixed with water so it’s not a huge dose of sugar.
• Snacks. The demands of the workday make it easy to forget to eat regular, healthy snacks. But what you don’t want is to be starving and turn to the vending machine out of desperation. It’s not the best fuel for your body when you’re nursing, and it won’t help you feel good about yourself. Keep a few snacks in your desk so you’re not tempted by the siren call of those mini powdered donuts. One thing I’ll definitely be trying out after my currently gestating baby is born? Lactation cookies. The oatmeal and other ingredients are supposed to help sustain your milk supply. A guilt-free cookie! Try this basic recipe or if you’re a fan of chocolate, try these Chocolate Almond No-Bake Lactation Cookies.
• Rest. You have a newborn at home, so a full night’s sleep probably isn’t happening yet. But try to get decent sleep as much as your little one will allow. Avoid the trap of staying up until 2:00 am catching up on email for work because you’ll definitely feel it the next day. If you’re feeling overwhelmed and like you have to work at night to catch up, it may be time to think about saying no at work more often.

5. Psych Yourself Up

I know moms who can be just as productive while they pump as they are at their desk. My body was a little more high maintenance.

If I got set up to pump and then tried to get right back into whatever I had been working on at my desk, my milk would never let down. At the end of the pumping session, I’d have a quarter of an ounce to show for my 25 minutes of pumping. It felt like a waste of time.

However, if I forced myself to disconnect from my laptop and phone at the start of the pumping session, my milk would let down and I would get 4-5 ounces by the end of the session. After my milk let down, I could be productive. I just needed to fully relax for a few minutes at the beginning. Which is probably not a bad thing to incorporate into a working mama’s day anyway!

Here are a few things that worked for me. I’d do each of these one at a time, progressing to the next if one trick didn’t work in that moment.

• Focus. Put your phone down and close your laptop. The world can wait a couple minutes while you disconnect.
• Breathe. Close your eyes and take a deep breath. Count how many seconds you breathe in, and try to double that time while you breathe out. For example, if you breathe in for 5 seconds, try to expand your exhale to 10 seconds. Typically, 3-5 deep breaths would do the trick for me.
• Watch a video. I kept a few sweet videos of my baby on my phone. If relaxing with deep breaths didn’t get my milk to let down, watching a video of my baby usually did the trick.
• Try something weird. I discovered an odd trick that worked for me, every time. I’ve searched online and can’t find anyone else who’s talked about it, so maybe I’m the only weirdo. But here it is: do a few Kegel exercises while you pump. There is some controversy about whether Kegels help or hurt, but I wasn’t worried about just doing it as a last resort to get my milk to flow. I will note that it was only when I did the push variation that I saw the impact.

If you are still having issues with not pumping enough milk, check out I’m not pumping enough milk. What can I do? or these Supply Boosting tips. Or check out the book The Breastfeeding Mother’s Guide to Making More Milk.

6. Keep Your Appointments

At some point, you’ll be in a situation where you’re tempted to skip one of your pumping appointments. A last-minute meeting will crop up. You’ll be trying to meet a tight deadline. Or maybe you’ll just be tired and not want to get up and go through the whole elaborate pumping routine when you can just zone out while going through email at your desk.

There will be lots of reasons to skip your pumping sessions.

Which makes this my most important tip of all: Keep your appointments with yourself.

If you skip a pump session, your milk supply will decrease. There’s no question of that.

So if you find yourself thinking of skipping your appointment with the lactation room, remember that you’ll pay the price. Maybe not that day, but probably the next day when you sit down to pump at that regular time. You’ll get less milk and be frustrated that you “wasted” all that time with so little to show for it. The next day when that pump time rolls around, you’ll think, “Why bother? I didn’t get much milk anyway.”

Instead of pumping every three hours like clockwork, now you’ll be going five or six hours between pump appointments. This sends the message to your body that it doesn’t need to produce as much milk.

When I tripped up and missed a few appointments, this is exactly what happened. And then when I pumped the next time, my milk was nowhere to be found. Not only was I missing my skipped appointment, but I was also impacting my other appointments.

All this to finish one email or to go to a meeting where I could have gotten a recap from a co-worker instead. Was it worth the added stress?

I gave myself permission to decide between continuing to pump or weaning my baby. Weaning was awfully tempting because it meant I could leave all that pumping stress behind. But here’s what I realized: I was the one creating the stress by skipping my appointments!

After that epiphany, I renewed my commitment to myself and my baby and stopped skipping my appointments. And? No more stress about not getting enough milk.

Want More?

For more general tips on going back to work after maternity leave, check out 9 Secrets for a Successful Return to Work After Maternity Leave.

Your Turn

What are your tricks for keeping up with breastfeeding after you go back to work? Share your tip in a comment below!

The post How to Keep Breastfeeding After Going Back to Work appeared first on Happy You, Happy Family.

After you find out you’re pregnant and the initial giddiness wears off, it starts to set in that you’ll be responsible for keeping another human being ALIVE.

That’s serious business, and one school of thought is to take out a second mortgage and buy every baby-related gadget ever invented to insure against you making a stupid mistake.

On the other end of the spectrum, some will tell you that the ONLY baby must haves are your boobs, some diapers, and a comfortable bed to sleep in – with the diapers and bed being optional.

Here Are the Real Baby Must Haves

I fall somewhere in between the two camps. Plus, after having four babies I’ve had a lot of opportunities to learn what makes life easier and what you can live without.

Here are the real baby must haves for taking care of your little one. Start your registry on Amazon^†, add these baby registry must haves to it, and you’ll be sitting pretty by the time your sweet little bundle arrives.

^† This site is reader-supported. When you buy through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission.

Feeding Essentials

Whether you plan to breastfeed or bottle-feed, these are the baby must haves you’ll want to have on hand.

Sleep Must Haves

Getting your baby to sleep (and stay asleep) is one of the most stressful parts of the newborn phase. But these baby must haves will make your job so much easier.

Diapering Needs

I’ve done cloth diapers, disposable diapers, and a mixture of both. Regardless of which direction you go, you’ll need these baby must haves to keep up with your baby’s diaper needs.

Want More?

Check out these more specific lists of baby must haves:

• 12 Must-Haves to Survive Your Newborn’s First Month
• 7 Surprising Must Haves for Baby – From a Second-Time Mom Who’s Starting Over
• 8 Must Haves That Make the Perfect Gifts for New Dads
• 6 Surprising Songs to Soothe a Fussy Baby
• 25 Surprising Toys Your Baby Will Totally Love
• The Best Baby Board Books That Will Delight Your Baby (And You)

Your Turn

What baby must haves would you recommend? Share in a comment below!

Social media feature photo by Travis Swan.

The post Baby Must Haves: 25 Essentials That Will Give You the Best First Year appeared first on Happy You, Happy Family.

In the last month, our one-year-old has developed a terrible habit—keeping us up until 1:00 am.

Or later.

She’s not cranky or crying. She just won’t sleep.

So she plays and plays and plays until she can’t walk straight, and then we cart her off to bed and cross our fingers.

Sometimes she sleeps, sometimes she doesn’t. When she doesn’t, we hang our heads and trudge back to the living room for more playtime and stories.

One night, I took her on a walk around the neighborhood at 1:00 am until she fell asleep. It didn’t feel creepy until I saw some dude limping down the street, fidgeting with his shorts.

Another night, we loaded her up in the car at 12:30 am and drove around for 45 minutes. But she never fell asleep.

You name it, we’ve tried it.

But the worst part isn’t the baby keeping us up late.

When she does finally fall asleep, she wakes up every hour to two hours. Sometimes every 30 minutes to an hour.

She’s killing us, slowly.

3 Things I Know

1. It’s just a phase.
2. This too shall pass.
3. She’s gearing up for another wonder week^†.

^† This site is reader-supported. When you buy through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission.

I know all that.

But.

I’m really freaking tired.

Related: 7 Things to Do When You’re Stuck Under a Sleeping Baby

Here’s How We’re Dealing

After work one day a couple weeks ago, we took the girls to the grocery store to pick up a few essentials—milk, bananas, ice cream bars.

Our grocery store trips have become embarrassing lately.

We wander the aisles trying to remember what we need. Then when we’re almost done, we realize we haven’t bought anything for dinner that week. So we double back to get dinner supplies.

Sometimes it’s all our brains can handle to think of one dinner at a time, so we end up making several trips around the store—one round for each meal.

As a special treat, we bought a super classy $2.99 bottle of wine.

That night, we pulled into the garage, throwing out dinner options.

“Pasta?” I said.

“Works for me. Oh, is today Wednesday?” Ty asked.

I paused to think because figuring out the day of the week actually does require me to focus nowadays. “Yeah.”

“I’m gonna set out the trash bins before I forget.”

“Good catch,” I said.

I unbuckled the baby and put her on my right hip, then loaded my work bags on my left shoulder.

As I deposited each of my bags—purse on the counter, pump bag in the pantry, laptop bag on the kitchen table—I felt something wet on my hip.

I figured it was the baby drooling on me.

She squirmed out of my arms, so I set her on the living room rug to play and headed back to the garage to grab the groceries from the trunk.

The air hit my hip where it was wet.

I looked down.

Definitely not drool.

“Oh shit.” Ty had just walked inside to get the kitchen trash.

“What?”

“She had a blowout.” I started back towards her in the living room. Maybe there was still time to save the rug.

I scooped her up and whisked her to the bedroom.

This was a two-man job.

We got her cleaned up, I changed my shirt, and Ty scrubbed the living room rug.

I sighed. “Pizza?”

Ty grinned.

I queued up the pizza place’s web site and ordered.

Our Reward for a Job Well Done

That night, we got our fill of pizza, split a root beer, and after her big sister went to sleep we even got to watch an episode of New Girl while the baby chewed her way through her board book library.

When she started walking like a drunk person, we got her ready for bed and held our breath.

I laid down next to her, nursed her, and she fell asleep.

Before 1:00 am!

I waited a few minutes to be sure it would stick.

Then I carefully inched away from her, slid off the bed, and tiptoed out of the room.

Ty looked up. “She’s out?”

I grinned. “She’s out!”

We high-fived.

I turned on the baby monitor.

“How about a glass of wine?” he asked.

“Yes, please.” I walked toward the fridge and opened it.

I moved a few things around. “Did you put the wine in the fridge?”

“No,” Ty said.

“Where is it?”

And then we both realized at the same time:

The groceries.

They’d been in the trunk, in the 80-degree garage, for four hours.

Quick!

Ty ran out to the garage to grab the grocery bags. I glanced at the baby monitor.

This was burning some serious wine-drinking time.

Thankfully, we didn’t fare too bad on the groceries. The ice cream bars were toast, but the milk still seemed nice and cool.

We danced around each other in the kitchen, trying to put the survivors away as quietly as possible, both checking the baby monitor every 30 seconds.

When we were done, I opened the bottle of wine and poured two glasses.

I walked up to Ty and handed one to him.

We clinked glasses.

I lifted my glass to my lips…

And the baby cried.

A Kick in the Pants

The next morning, I had my little one on my hip as I corralled her toys into the toy bin. She prefers a fresh start to the day before she spreads them all over the house again.

My big kid was on the couch, reading one of her little sister’s books to herself.

“Mommy?” she said.

“Mmm-hmm.”

“It seems like you don’t smile very often.”

I froze and looked up at her. “What?”

She shrugged. “It feels like you smiled more before.”

“What do you mean? I smile.” But I was now painfully aware of how the corners of my mouth turned down.

She ducked her head and went back to reading.

I continued tidying up, my daughter’s comment ringing in my head.

I picked a hairbrush up off the floor and headed to the bathroom.

As I put it away in the drawer, I caught sight of my face in the mirror and stopped.

No smile.

My own child thinks I don’t smile?

My Breaking Point

After both girls were in bed that night, we got 15 minutes before the baby woke up the first time.

I opened the bedroom door, my eyes adjusting to the darkness.

Again, I realized I wasn’t smiling. Actually, the opposite of smiling.

What’s wrong with me?

I laid next to her and got ready to nurse her back to sleep.

I knew she’d wake up again in 30 minutes or 20 minutes or 10 minutes and want to nurse again. She was dependent on me to fall back asleep, every time.

And this was okay with me for a while.

But I realized it was no longer just me soldiering through without sleep. My lack of sleep was affecting the rest of the family too.

With my hands on my nursing bra clasp, I stopped. I know you can’t cheat yourself on sleep and not pay the price. It will affect your brainpower. And your mood.

“No,” I said out loud, surprising myself a little. “No milk.”

The baby’s whimpers turned to full-on crying.

I snuggled up next to her.

She was having none of it. Louder crying.

I sang “Hush Little Baby.”

She didn’t hush.

I let her bury her fingers in my hair—a calming trick that’s worked since she was a newborn.

She was now royally pissed. I was changing the rules on her, in the middle of the game.

It took me 45 minutes to get her calmed down, another 15 to get her to sleep.

After I eased out of the room, I found Ty in the kitchen cleaning up from dinner.

“I think I’m going to night wean Bails,” I said.

He looked up, searching my face for a few seconds. “I think that’s a good idea.”

“It’s probably a little overdue, huh?”

He nodded, slowly. “Probably.”

Related: How to Get Better Sleep As a Sleep-Deprived Mom (Yes, Really)

Did It Work?

So we night weaned our baby, sort of on a whim. With my oldest giving me the wake-up call I needed.

The first night was awful. She woke up at least every hour, sometimes more. We took turns trying to calm her down.

She was just plain angry, and none of us slept very much at all.

After she fell asleep around 3:00 am, I picked up my phone to pull up this blog post on baby sleep and re-read it for the thousandth time: Here Are Some Lies People Tell You About Infant Sleep.

I searched for more advice and found another blog post, which I got halfway through before the baby stirred again.

The whole night, I kept telling myself: It can only go up from here.

The next night, she woke up at 1:00 am. With her strapped to my chest in the Ergo, I paced the house in the dark. After the first hour, my legs felt like jelly.

I just wanted to sit down. But I knew we’d have to start all over getting her calmed down.

She finally settled down at 3:00 am, after two hours of pacing.

And then? She slept for three hours straight.

DIVINE.

She hadn’t done that for months and months.

The next night was a little bit better. And the next, a little bit more.

As of last night, we’ve been at it for almost two weeks.

Since we started night weaning, our baby hasn’t nursed during the night. Plus, she’s getting faster at falling back asleep when she does wake up.

Last night, she woke up once. ONCE.

I feel like a new woman.

But I had to test my theory.

Today, I asked my oldest: “Do you feel like Mommy is smiling more lately?”

She paused. “Maybe,” she said. “Can we have dessert?”

Want More?

If you were blessed with a non-sleeping baby too, my friend Lauren has a ton of awesome baby sleep tips for you. But the real game-changer for me was her book: For the Love of Sleep: Practical Baby Sleep Solutions for the Everyday Mama. Lucky for me, I read this book before my third baby was born, and I was able to avoid some of the hurdles I created for myself with my previous two babies.

But if you’re in a tough spot as in “I need a sleep fix right now, or I’m going to run away from my family and hide out in an Appalachian shack 200 miles from civilization,” I highly recommend this free 3-part video series from my friend Rachel. She’s had five babies in five years, so she knows what she’s talking about. In these three short videos, you’ll learn the biggest baby sleep struggles—and how to fix them starting now.

Your Turn

How do you cope with lack of sleep? Share your tip in a comment below!

Social media photo by Janine.

The post The Month My Baby Wouldn’t Sleep—And What I Did About It appeared first on Happy You, Happy Family.

By the end of her first five months, my second daughter had been on:

• One 21-hour road trip (each way)
• Six plane rides

The road trip was about as horrible as you could possibly imagine. She screamed approximately 40 of the 42 hours we were on the road. And those two hours of silence were all thanks to these songs. In fairness to her, she was only five weeks old.

But the plane rides were AWESOME. I nursed at take-off, and she slept pretty much the whole flight. Every time.

While she slept, I read books written for grown-ups. I played endless rounds of Dots on my phone. I even got to snooze a little.

Then last week, I went to the DC area for work, which meant our 10-month-old would rack up four more flights.

Luckily, the cheapest flights happened to line up with her nap times.

We packed a few baby toys perfect for plane rides in her diaper bag, but I knew we wouldn’t need them.

Away We Go

After we got through security at the airport, I bought some mommy lit for my Kindle phone app—Life, Motherhood & the Pursuit of the Perfect Handbag.

While we waited by the gate, a middle-aged woman smiled at our daughter.

I smiled back and turned to my little one. “Can you say hi?” I said, modeling how to wave.

My daughter smiled but wasn’t feeling the wave, apparently.

Then the woman’s face fell. Like it was dawning on her that this cherubic little thing might be screaming bloody murder once we were all locked in a small enclosed space and hurtling through the air together.

She looked at me and raised her eyebrows. “Did you remember to pack a pacifier? Babies need it for their ears so they don’t cry.”

I wanted to say: “This ain’t my first ro-DAY-o.” But our 6-year-old was staying home with family, so how could this woman know this baby in front of her isn’t my first?

Then I wanted to say: “We don’t need a pacifier because I’m gonna stick my boob in her mouth.”

But instead, I said:

“I’ve got it covered, thanks.”

I smiled with just the tiniest glint of steel in my eye.

And then it was time to board.

Safety in Numbers

When we stepped onto the plane, I spied another family getting situated with their baby a few rows down. The baby looked just a bit younger than ours.

Then we got to our row and started tucking all our own baby gear into every nook and cranny, including all our favorite baby toys for plane rides.

Our girl was happy sitting in my lap while we taxied. A little wiggly, but happy.

As we started to take off, I nursed her.

Staring into her beautiful baby face, I smiled.

Waited for her eyelids to get heavy.

They didn’t.

When she finished, I switched her to the other side.

After a few minutes, she popped off.

Still wide awake.

Wide awake and BUSY.

You Should Know This

Our daughter is not a calm baby. She’s always on the move. She was walking at 9 months old.

Someone trying to hold her in one spot for two hours? Not high on her list of favorite pastimes.

But no worries, we’re accomplished baby entertainers. We’d even researched “baby toys for airplane” ahead of time and amassed a big stash of toys proven to entertain babies on a plane.

Ty pulled a toy out of the diaper bag. A set of plastic keys that we hid weeks ago so she’d have a “new” toy for the plane.

She took the keys from Ty’s hand, held her arm out straight, and dropped them on the ground.

Okay, not a fan of the keys.

Ty pulled out another toy.

On the floor.

Again and again, until we were out of toys.

Now What?

To be clear, she wasn’t crying. So it could have been worse.

But she was squirming, writhing, and bucking us like a bronco–with a few high-pitched squeals thrown in every 5 minutes or so.

After her first squeal, the woman in front of us turned back to deliver a pointed stare.

Heat pricked at my cheeks.

The other baby a couple rows up? Not a peep.

The next squeal was louder. The woman turned back again.

I avoided her glare by zeroing in on the seat back in front of me. How do you entertain a baby on a plane? Think.

SKYMALL.

Snuggies and iPad/toilet paper holder stands never let anyone down.

I yanked the catalog out of the seat back and shoved it in front of my baby’s face.

She stopped squirming and opened the front cover.

Page after page after page.

Captivated.

For a whole seven minutes.

21 Free Baby Toys for Airplane Trips to Keep Your Baby Happy

And so began a quest for free toys within our 1.5 square feet of personal space.

Without these 21 things, our trip would have been completely miserable.

Instead, our flights were decent. Tiring but decent.

Next time you find yourself on a plane with a wiggly baby, try a few of these toys. You might just luck out.

1. Skymall magazine
2. 1 empty plastic water bottle, procured from the flight attendant
3. 1 drink napkin
4. 1 drink napkin, divided into 27 tiny shreds
5. 1 cup of ice water, dumped on 1 mama’s lap
6. 12 ice cubes
7. 2 bags of peanuts
8. 1 empty plastic water bottle, with 2 peanuts dropped inside to make a satisfying sound when shaken
9. 2 empty bags of peanuts
10. 1 seatbelt buckle, chewed on to soothe teething gums and to make mama cringe
11. 7 animal sounds made when pointing to animals in the Skymall magazine
12. A torn corner of a Skymall magazine
13. 1 seat back tray
14. 1 seat back tray latch
15. 1 laminated safety pamphlet
16. A game of peekaboo, with 1 mama hiding behind 1 laminated safety pamphlet
17. 1 on/off switch on the overhead reading lamp, pressed approximately 1,571 times
18. 1 airsick bag
19. 1 airsick bag, filled with 27 drink napkin shreds, 1 empty plastic water bottle, 2 empty bags of peanuts, and a torn corner of a Skymall magazine
20. 1 airsick bag, dumped out on the floor
21. 1 puppet, constructed from 1 airsick bag and brought to life using an annoying high-pitched voice intended to get under the skin of the woman sitting in front who keeps turning back with nasty looks

As we deplaned our first flight, we came upon the other family with a baby, collecting their gate-checked stroller.

When the woman who had been sitting in front of us got up to the other family, she said in a sickly sweet voice: “Oh, your baby was so good on the plane.”

She shot us a final look.

Yes, and my baby is the spawn of the devil because she didn’t go comatose during the flight.

The Final Flight

We had one last hurdle.

For our final flight back home, we didn’t have seats together. I was in an aisle seat on the two-seat side of the plane, and Ty was in an aisle seat one row back on the three-seat side.

I’m not too keen on nursing in close quarters next to complete strangers, so we asked the gate attendant if we could get seats together.

Nope.

Her advice? Ask the person sitting next to me if they’d trade their window seat for Ty’s aisle seat.

“People are pretty understanding when it comes to families sitting together.” She smiled.

When we lined up to board, I turned to Ty. “I think you should ask. People like you right off the bat. I kind of grow on people over time.”

He laughed. “Don’t sell yourself short. You’re holding a cute baby, so that can’t hurt.”

As we inched down the aisle, I looked ahead to my seat. The woman in the window seat was a little older than me, with kind eyes. She caught my glance and smiled.

I smiled back.

I got this, I thought.

Then I was level with her row.

“Excuse me,” I said.

She looked up.

“They didn’t give us seats together.” I turned back and gestured to Ty. “Would you mind swapping your seat for our aisle seat?”

She blinked. “I really wanted this window seat.”

“Oh,” I said.

So we got all set up in our two separate rows.

My face already felt hot, thinking of my right boob being clearly visible to the aisle seats all around me.

I took a deep breath.

Everyone’s seen a boob before, I told myself. It’s not a big deal.

But it felt like a big deal.

Then, just as I buckled my seatbelt, a young man in his 20s sitting in the row in front of me turned back.

“Nobody’s sitting next to me. You can have my seat,” he said.

“Are you sure?” I said.

“Yeah.” He smiled.

“Oh, thank you!”

We hurried to swap before he changed his mind.

I felt like giving him some money or maybe a candy bar to thank him. But I had no cash and no candy. And I thought an airsick-bag puppet show in his honor might not be up his alley.

We rotated through our magical collection of free airplane toys, and she was for the most part a happy camper.

And then, in the last 20 minutes of the flight, she started acting hungry.

I nursed her.

And then she fell asleep.

SHE FELL ASLEEP.

And stayed that way for the rest of the flight.

I pulled out my phone and went back to my mommy lit treat. I finished the last chapter just as the flight attendants asked us to put away our electronic devices.

Then I closed my eyes and thought of not a single thing in the world, while I held my sleeping baby.

Divine.

As we walked out of the gate, we passed a woman who had been sitting in the row across from us.

She smiled at our girl’s sleepy face.

“Your baby was so good.”

I just smiled.

Your Turn

What are your best tips for how to entertain a baby on a plane? Share in a comment below!

Social media photo by Jyri Engestrom.

The post 21 Free Baby Toys for Airplane Trips That Will Keep Your Baby Happy appeared first on Happy You, Happy Family.

When you’re pregnant, you get the nursery ready. You wash piles of itty bitty laundry. You look at the stack of books on your nightstand and smile, thinking of how you’ll catch up on all that reading during your maternity leave.

Then your sweet little bundle of joy is BORN! You’re overjoyed and overwhelmed.

Except when you get home, you realize there’s NO WAY you’re leaving this tiny helpless thing all alone in a room halfway across the house from you every night. So that precious, color-coordinated nursery sits empty.

Then comes a day when you blow through your carefully folded stack of clean onesies in less than 24 hours. You pull a onesie from the dirty laundry hamper and sniff it to see how bad the baby spit-up smell really is. Pretty bad. But you dress your baby in it anyway.

And that stack of books? Dusty.

Here’s Your New Mom Survival Guide

The pregnancy magazines make it look so easy. Finish this checklist, and you’ll be ready for your baby! Sleep when the baby sleeps, and you won’t be tired! Do your Kegels everyday, and your pelvic floor will be magical!

Well.

This is a survival guide for the rest of us. Because this mommyhood gig has a way of mucking up plans.

The links in this guide are essential reading for new mommies. Some are from me, some from others. If you know of a blog post that was helpful to you as a new mommy, please let me know!

What Baby Will Need

Start your registry on Amazon^†, add these essentials to it, and you’ll be ready for your sweet little bundle to arrive.

^† This site is reader-supported. When you buy through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission.

• 7 Surprising Baby Essentials – From a Second-Time Mom Who’s Starting Over
• 8 Must-Haves to Survive Your Newborn’s First Month
• What to Do Before Your Baby Arrives – 7 Musts That Might Surprise You

After Baby’s Born

• Visitors After the Baby – 10 Tips
• Enjoying Newborn Parenting

Before You Leave the House

• 7 Fashion Tips for the Postpartum Mama

When Baby Won’t Sleep

• The Haggard Mother Sleep Training Method
• Here Are Some Lies People Tell You About Infant Sleep

If You Work Outside the Home

• 5 Creative Childcare Solutions You Will Totally Love
• 9 Secrets for a Successful Return to Work After Maternity Leave
• 8 Ways to Say No at Work – Without Feeling Guilty

How to Entertain Baby

• 6 Surprising Songs to Soothe a Fussy Baby
• 25 Surprising Toys Your Baby Will Totally Love
• The Best Baby Board Books That Will Delight Your Baby (And You)

For Dads

• New Dad Survival Guide – 8 Essential Tips

For Your Friends

• How to Help a New Mom

Pinterest feature photo by Frank de Kleine.

Your Turn

What would you add to this new mom survival guide? Share in a comment below!

The post The Quintessential Survival Guide for New Moms appeared first on Happy You, Happy Family.

For Christmas, we got our baby one present. That’s it.

Here’s why:

1. At 7 months old, she wouldn’t know what she was missing.
2. We thought her grandparents might do what grandparents do best. (They did.)
3. On the big day, her favorite people handed over a steady stream of colorful paper to crumple and tear and eat, not to mention the boxes. So many boxes!

But mostly, we stiffed Bailey on presents because babies are perfectly happy playing with everyday items around the house. They don’t need plastic, blinking, ringing toys designed especially for babies and for giving mom a truly spectacular migraine.

In fact, research shows that simple toys are baby MUST haves:

“Some active toys – the ones with the bells and whistles – prompt kids to sit back and be entertained by pushing buttons. But passive toys make for active kids. When the toy is simple, a child is forced to be creative, dynamic and engaged on an entirely different level, which enables and promotes development.”

Here’s What You Should Be Spending Money On

If you want to make your baby’s day, here’s a list of toys he will go BANANAS over, and they won’t cost you a dime. Not things he wants and can’t have like cords and toilet paper and dog food. For example, although Bailey would love to play with the remote controls, we don’t let her because of the nasty chemicals in most electronics.

This is a list of all the things around your house that are (relatively) safe and will put your baby in a magical trance.

The day I discovered the potato masher would keep Bailey entertained for 15 minutes straight? That was a good day.

Your house is chock FULL of these hidden baby toys. Rotate through them every couple days to keep baby interested. Variety is key. Having a wide variety of toys actually makes babies smarter!

Skip buying those silly baby toys at the store and save your money for things that really matter, like a new dress to fit your postpartum body or maybe a sweet bedtime story.

First, a Disclaimer

Always supervise your baby when playing with unofficial baby toys like this. Actually, always supervise your baby when they’re playing with ANYTHING. As a baby, my oldest once choked on a piece that came off a baby rattle for her exact age range, made by a very respectable company. I had to perform the baby Heimlich maneuver. And then I sat down and cried in a very unattractive way, complete with snot running down my face.

The toy was later recalled. But my point is this: Humans make baby toys, and humans also make mistakes. Constant vigilance, as dear old Mad Eye Moody would say. These household items are relatively safe, but you gotta watch those little bags of slobber and puke at ALL TIMES. Also, please don’t sue me.

Related: 21 Free Baby Toys for Airplane Trips to Keep Your Baby Happy

From Your Kitchen

1. Wooden Spoons

Great for teething babies to chew on and for banging on…

2. Nested Mixing Bowls

Bailey will bang on the bowls, stack the bowls, turn the bowls upside down, put things in the bowls, try to sit in the bowls.

Just make sure the plastic is BPA-free like this set, for when baby inevitably chews on them.

(Plus, this set is made from recycled plastic, it’s dishwasher-safe, and they’re made in the USA.)

3. Spatulas

Another great choice for teething babies. (Side note: For all the utensils in this list, just watch to make sure they don’t get a little overzealous in seeing how far they can get the handle in their mouths.)

4. Muffin Tin

Load each hole up with a baby toy like a wooden block, and watch your little one go to town.

5. Fruit Rope

Not for eating. For crinkling!

Bailey will “work” on a Clif fruit rope for a good 10 minutes straight, focused as can be.

When she starts to wear down the integrity of the wrapper with her vigorous crinkling, I swap it out for a new one, and I get to eat the old one. SCORE.

6. Measuring Spoons on a Ring

This set is BPA-free and super colorful too.

7. Empty Food Containers With Lids

Cottage cheese, sour cream, yogurt, those clear plastic containers in the bulk food aisle. Clean them out, stack them up, and grab your phone because you’re about to get at least 15 minutes free, and Facebook isn’t going to check itself.

8. Potato Masher

Bailey’s favorite.

9. Colander

Makes a great bath toy.

10. Whisk

I prefer to give Bailey our silicone whisk because it seems like fitting your tongue between two silicone bits would be more pleasant than between two metal bits.

11. Wooden Rolling Pin

Bailey loves to push this sucker around all over the floor.

12. Ice Cube Tray

Same concept as the muffin tin, but in a more chewable format.

13. Sturdy Plastic Cups

Babies love to stack them, put stuff in them, empty them out, roll them around on the floor, chew on them – the possibilities are endless, really.

Here’s a colorful BPA-free set.

They also work great in the bath.

14. Baby Food Jars

Fill empty, clean jars with different things like uncooked rice or beans, beads, sequins, pom poms, or anything else small and interesting. Then screw the lid on super tight (you could even glue it if you’re neurotic about choking like me). Baby will shake, rattle, and roll.

From Your Closet

15. Baseball Hats

As long as you’re okay with the faint smell of baby slobber next time you wear it.

16. Leather Belt

When Ty gets dressed every morning, Bailey about goes apeshit trying to get to his belt before it’s on and out of her reach. If you’re worried about the metal buckle, get a belt with a leather buckle like this.

17. Backpacks

The more straps and compartments, the better.

We can sit Bailey down with a backpack, and she’ll explore and explore and explore.

Her Stokke carrier also serves this purpose well. We just undo all the buckles and let her go to town.

18. Laundry Basket

Put baby in it, put her toys in it, or turn it over and let her push it around.

19. That Purse From 1998 in the Back of Your Closet

You’re never going to use it again, so let baby add some character with an intricate pattern of teeth marks.

From Your Bathroom and Elsewhere

20. Handheld Mirror

Another baby who does everything she does at the same time? Mind blown.

21. Empty Wipes Containers

Fill the empty container with fabric scraps and let him pull them out.

22. Hair Rollers

The kind that come in all different sizes and fit inside each other, like this. Babies love to fit them together, take them apart, and roll them around.

23. Wooden Massager

Like this:

Just keep an eye on those little balls in case they start to come loose.

24. DVDs

We keep our kids’ movies on the bottom shelf of our entertainment center. Bailey’s favorite game lately is to pull each movie off the shelf, throw it on the floor, then rummage around the pile to find the tastiest looking one.

25. Vacuum Cleaner

Your mileage may vary on this one, but Bailey absolutely loves to watch me vacuum. She doesn’t even freak out about the noise. I just plop her in the middle of the floor and vacuum all around her, and she’s mesmerized.

Your Turn

What’s your baby’s favorite toy that’s not a toy? Share in a comment below!

Social media photo by D. Sharon Pruitt.

The post 25 Surprising Toys Your Baby Will Totally Love appeared first on Happy You, Happy Family.

Babies sure are particular little boogers.

Feed me, change me, help me fall asleep because I’m tired but don’t know how to make it happen on my own and oh by the way, when you try to help me you should know that I WILL HATE YOU FOREVER.

And sometimes, everything you’ve learned about how to calm a crying baby is useless because they cry for no obvious reason. Suddenly, your trusty baby must haves aren’t delivering. No Super Nanny is knocking on your door at just the right moment to swoop in and save the day.

So you run through a mental checklist.

She can’t be hungry, she just ate!

Clean diaper, check.

Woke up from a nap 20 minutes ago.

Is she cold? Hot?

Does she have a fever?

Is it something in my milk? Do I need to cut out dairy? Soy?

DEAR GOD PLEASE DON’T LET IT BE GLUTEN.

Not to Mention Babies’ Taste in Music

You never know what’s going to set them off.

Gone are the days of starting up your favorite playlist and relaxing on your way to the grocery store.

Our 5-month-old Bailey has this endearing habit of screaming at the top of her lungs every time we get in the car. Music is one of the only reliable things that will calm her down – but it has to be the RIGHT music.

She hates Michael Bublé^† and loves Maroon 5. Lullabies can suck it, but Johnny Cash is gold. Classical is out. Ron White monologues are…in?!

^† This site is reader-supported. When you buy through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission.

The Best Songs for Crying Babies That Will Calm Them Fast

This parent discovered that when his baby girl was fussy, Hypnotize by Notorious B.I.G. worked like magic.

But what if Notorious B.I.G. isn’t really up your alley?

Here are a few songs for crying babies that always calm our little one down. Even better, with the exception of #6, these songs are worthy of your own non-baby-related playlists.

Give these tunes a try – your baby might like them too. Or maybe she’ll be into misogynistic, sexually explicit lyrics.

Dude, no judgment. Whatever works.

1. Be OK by Ingrid Michaelson

I just want to be ok, be ok, be ok
I just want to be ok today

Listen: Apple Music | Amazon Music

2. Down To The River To Pray by Alison Krauss

Oh sisters let’s go down
Let’s go down, come on down
Oh sisters let’s go down
Down in the river to pray`

Listen: Apple Music | Amazon Music

3. Your Man Loves You, Honey by Tom T. Hall

Had my golf clubs on my shoulder
When you saw me first today
Wearin’ my old army sweater
That you thought you threw away

Listen: Apple Music | Amazon Music

4. Daddy Sang Bass by Johnny Cash

Daddy sang bass,
Mama sang tenor
Me and little brother would join right in there

Listen: Apple Music | Amazon Music

5. Chicago by Lucy Wainwright Roche

Isn’t it funny, even with toys
And all of the money
People will still come out to see
Lights in the sky, and over the lake
On the fourth of July
Isn’t it funny, isn’t it funny
Isn’t it simple after all

Listen: Apple Music

6. Babies Little Self by Caspar Babypants

Okay, so this one may be not as surprising since it’s intended to be kids’ music in the first place. But it works so well I had to include it!

I can see baby’s little self
Baby’s little self in the morning time
I can see baby’s little hands
Baby’s little hands in the summertime
I can see baby’s little feet
Baby’s little feet in the eveningtime

Listen: Apple Music | Amazon Music

Your Turn

What are your favorite go-to songs for crying babies? Share your suggestion in a comment below!

The post The Best Songs for Crying Babies That Will Calm Them Fast appeared first on Happy You, Happy Family.

The day that my first child stopped asking me to read the same book over and over and over again? That was a good day.

Because before that point, I had been dangerously close to retelling Curious George as Planet of the Apes just to preserve my sanity.

But now I find myself back at square zero with my youngest. The second I finish reading his favorite baby board book, he looks up at me with those big eyes and touches his pudgy little hands together – sign language for “more.”

Thankfully, I learned my lesson the first go-round: Never let a bad board book in the house.

Because if you don’t love a book the first time you read it, you’re definitely not going to love it the 600th time.

How This List of Baby Board Books Is Different

You won’t change the fact that your baby wants to read the same book over and over. The experts say repetitive reading is fantastic for building a child’s language skills.

But you can make sure that the baby board books in your home are something you enjoy, too. Because your baby will get the most out of a shared reading experience when it’s something you look forward to.

That’s hard to accomplish when you find yourself hiding Love You Forever and Goodnight Moon under couch cushions so your baby won’t ask for them again.

That’s why this list of baby board books is different. Here’s how:

• I’ve had four babies, and I’ve babysat oodles more. I read to my babies several times a day, and when I go to babysit a friend’s baby, I always bring my own bag of the best board books. Thanks to all this firsthand experience, I know which baby books will keep a baby’s attention, and I know which books are least likely to drive you bananas. So in this list, you’ll find the baby board books that both babies and parents adore.
• Every time I put together a new list of children’s books for this site, my kids and I read hundreds of books to find the best. Each list takes months to finalize because the librarian looks at us funny if we walk out with more than 50 books at a time. What makes it to the final list is only the best of the best.
• I’m personally kind of obsessed with children’s books, which means I’ve read thousands and thousands of kids’ books as an adult. I also happen to be the pickiest one in my family. If a book is just okay, I’m ruthless about getting that book out of our house as soon as possible. In other words, I have high standards for what goes on my book lists.

Related: Forget the Award Winners! These Are the Best Picture Books for Kids

9 Best Baby Board Books Most Loved by Babies And Parents

Here are the absolute best baby board books that meet the tough criteria above. To be clear, these board books for babies aren’t all award winners, and you won’t see the titles most children’s literature gurus would put on a “best baby board books” list.

For example, you won’t find Goodnight Moon^† in this list, but I mean no disrespect to the book. There’s a reason it’s one of the most classic board books for babies: Babies love it. (Although after you read it 10 times in a row, you may start having nightmares about a creepy old lady in your bedroom whispering “hush.”)

^† This site is reader-supported. When you buy through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission.

But the point of this list isn’t to share which board books the professionals think are the best. You could find that anywhere. The point of this list is to give you the tried-and-true baby board books most loved by babies and parents.

In our family, we’ve read these board books to all our babies again and again…happily. We have most memorized by heart. And when our baby gnaws on the spine of one of these books until even duct tape can’t hold it together, we buy another copy to replace it.

If your child has progressed from the board book format for baby books to bona fide picture books, check out The Ultimate List of the Best Picture Books, Endorsed by Kids And Parents.

Note: indicates my family’s absolute top favorites on the list. These are the books my babies could never get enough of. And even though my kids are older now, they still ask for these books!

1. Good Night, Gorilla

Forget Curious George. If you’re looking for a mischievous primate, this gorilla’s got your back. When it comes to baby board books, this has the perfect amount of text for short attention spans. And on the pages with no text, you can either explain what’s happening to your baby or just close your eyes for a few seconds because that’s the closest thing you’ll get to a nap anytime soon.

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2. Peek-a-Who?

Older kids love reading this board book to babies for the same reason you’ll love it as a tired parent. It has 10 words total, and 5 of those are the same word over and over.

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3. The Carrot Seed

This kid believes in himself even after everyone important to him including his mom, his dad, and his brother tells him he should give up. Baby board books that encourage a growth mindset have a special place in my heart!

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4. First 100 Words

The best part of this book is you don’t have to read anything. Babies love to stare at real life pictures in baby board books like this one. Just point at a picture, say the word if you want, and wait til baby is bored with that page and flip it.

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5. Not a Box

Sometimes all you need to keep a baby happy is an empty cardboard box. Or a book about an empty cardboard box.

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6. Bear Snores On

This is one of my favorites of all the books for a baby I’ve ever read. And after four babies and hundreds of weekly trips to the library, I’ve read a lot. The story’s cute, but the kicker is the rhythm of the text. It’s just plain fun to read. I have the whole thing memorized, and when my baby is fussy, reciting it calms him right down. This book has more text than some other baby board books, so it works best during the newborn phase and then again later when baby is 1-year-old (or older) and has the patience for actual sentences.

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7. Mouse Paint

Educational baby board books don’t have to be boring. This book teaches your baby about primary and secondary colors but with a cute storyline.

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8. Tails

Babies love to reach out and feel the different textures in this book. Babies are like little scientists, constantly taking in new data. If your baby likes this one, be sure to check out the others by this author, like Moo.

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9. Everywhere Babies

I love the diversity of babies and families shown in this board book. Biological and adopted, breastfed and bottle-fed, two-parent and single-parent, and more. Babies don’t judge, and they love looking at all kinds of babies.

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Your Turn

What are your favorite board books for babies? Share in a comment below!

The post The Best Board Books for Babies, Most Loved by Babies And Parents appeared first on Happy You, Happy Family.

Two weeks before my first day back to work after maternity leave for my second child, I met a friend for afternoon tea. We chatted for an hour, each of us bobbing our babies in our laps to keep them content.

For the first time in weeks, I had to carry on a conversation with another adult that extended past the territory of “How old is your baby?” and “Do you want your receipt?”

But my alone switch kept flipping to the ON position several times during the mommy date. Suddenly, I would hear myself saying—in a regular voice for everyone around me to hear—the things I say to my baby when no one else is around. Like “You need to sleep, you little turkey lurkey” and “Did you make a popo?”

Plus, my eyes kept drifting down to the baby, anxious to make sure I hadn’t accidentally let her head loll forward and smack into the table, and also just to see her sweet little face because I missed it.

Then I’d catch myself. Oh wait, grown-ups are supposed to make eye contact.

So I’d pull my eyes back up to my friend’s face, a little sheepish for having looked away. And probably also for saying “popo.”

Clearly, I wasn’t quite ready for my return to work after maternity leave.

Going Back to Work After Baby Isn’t Easy

Everyone knows you need to figure out childcare before going back to work after maternity leave, but after being in “mom mode” 24-7 for weeks (or months), many new moms have a hard time getting back into a groove at work.

When I was a first-time mom headed back to work after maternity leave, nobody told me my old work clothes might not fit. I had no idea the extent of the exhaustion that would settle into my bones. I didn’t yet know how it would feel to be pulled in two diametrically opposed directions—your baby and your career.

But by the time my second maternity leave rolled around, I thought I was a pro at going back to work after baby. I’ve done this before! I know how it works! And yet, that second transition back to work still threw me for a loop.

So I set out to put together a back-to-work checklist for moms who are returning to work after maternity leave. A checklist that goes beyond the “duh” advice to figure out childcare or the tips you’ll find written by bosses, not by moms.

9 Tips for Returning to Work After Maternity Leave

The list below includes tips that worked well for me when returning to work after maternity leave the second time and advice I wish I’d had the first go-round. I also asked friends, co-workers, and more than 100,000 members of this community to share their own advice for a successful transition back to work after maternity leave and included the best tips from them.

1. Stock Up

A few things you might want to pick up before the big day:

• A breast pump. If you haven’t picked up a pump yet, I’ve used both Medela and Ameda pumps, and they were fine. But I LOVE my new Spectra pump^†. It’s more comfortable to use than other brands, and it seems to get more milk out than those competing pumps.

^† This site is reader-supported. When you buy through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission.

• A decent bag to carry your pump. Aim for a professional look and maybe less of a “I attach this thing to my boobs to suck them dry” vibe.
• Extra nursing pads. Keep them in your desk at work. Meetings will run over, and people will stop by your desk for unplanned visits. They won’t know that your breasts are about to burst, so be prepared in case you get delayed on pumping. (More on that in #7.) Here’s my favorite brand of disposable nursing pads. I loved that they absorbed well, and they weren’t visible through my shirt.
• A framed photo of your baby. Some moms find that it eases being away from their babies to have a picture on their desk. Then again, others find it a little upsetting to be reminded of being away from their babies. Bring one just in case, and if you end up not liking the constant reminder you can always take the photo home.
• Healthy snacks. When you get back into the daily grind, it’s easy to forget to eat regular, healthy snacks. But what you don’t want is to be starving and turn to the vending machine out of desperation. That won’t help you feel good about yourself, and it’s not the best fuel for your body if you’re nursing. Get some good snacks to keep in your desk so you’re not tempted by those mini powdered donuts.
• Dinners. You think you were low on time for cooking after baby was born? Now you’ll be away from the house all day and your normal dinner prep time will be eaten up by sitting in rush-hour traffic. Bake a couple meals and freeze them before you go back to work so you have a quick dinner option if you need it.

If you plan to keep breastfeeding after you go back to work, check out 6 Secrets to Success for Breastfeeding at Work for more essentials you’ll need.

2. Look Good—And Feel Good

Don’t go trying to stuff yourself into your pre-pregnancy clothes.

Because they probably won’t fit. Then you’ll feel like crap because it’s been WEEKS since that tot popped out of you, and you still aren’t back to “normal.”

But here’s the deal: It took 9 months (no, 10!) for your body to get to where it is, so be patient while it finds its way back—and it may settle in a different spot than where it started. Some doctors estimate it takes 6-10 weeks just for your uterus to get back to pre-pregnancy size, let alone the rest of your bits and pieces.

Check out these tips for the best postpartum clothes, and treat yourself to a few new pieces. And after the last couple months you’ve had, you most definitely deserve a haircut and a mani/pedi, too.

3. Buck the System

If you choke up every time you think about leaving your baby in daycare, spend some time brainstorming some creative childcare solutions so baby doesn’t have to be in daycare 50+ hours a week.

Thinking outside the status quo box could save you some serious money AND give you more time with your sweet babe. Here are 5 childcare ideas to get your creative juices flowing.

4. Ease In

If possible, schedule your return date for the middle of the week. A full-time schedule of 40+ hours away from your baby is going to be a shock to your system—and your baby’s. See if your childcare provider will let your baby ease in as well.

One example scenario: Go back to work the Thursday before your leave is officially over, and work half-days. Your baby will get a couple half-days with the new caregiver under his onesie belt, and you’ll get some practice with your routine. Then use those couple half-days you worked to cut down on your hours a bit the next week. For example, you could work 6.5-hour days for the next week, then the week after that bump up to 40 hours.

5. Practice Saying No

After my first child was born and I returned to work, I let myself drown in obligations to other people.

Every time I stayed up til 1:00 am catching up on work email because I had too much work to do during the workday, then woke up at 6:00 am to get us ready for the day—I wasn’t on my A game for my child. My patience was razor thin, and my temper bubbled right at the surface, ready to spill over.

Every night I was stressed about all the things I had to get done that evening after she went to bed—which was pretty much every night—I rushed through story time at bedtime, skipping sentences and sometimes entire pages when I thought I could get away with it.

I wasn’t in the moment, and my mental health was suffering.

So I started saying no at work. Here are a few tricks that have worked for me to set boundaries at work. Read through these tips to arm yourself BEFORE you get a bazillion people dumping work on you during your first week back in the office.

6. Meet With Your Boss

Schedule a quick meeting with your supervisor, outside the office if you can. That will lighten the mood, and you won’t run into people who assume you’re back and start emailing you about all the stuff they want you to do.

Ground you might want to cover:

• Have there been any changes you need to be aware of while you were out? Reorgs, changes in leadership, a shift in priorities for the department?
• What are your boss’s top priorities for you when you get back? This will help you focus and hit the ground running on what’s most important, instead of getting bogged down in unimportant tasks.
• Is your boss willing to let you try out some flexible work arrangements? Maybe you want to work a half day from home every week, switch to a part-time schedule, or use a co-working facility. The answer may be “no,” but if you don’t ask? You’ll have a 0% chance of hearing “yes.”

7. Give Your Baby a Gift

If you’re nursing, the best thing you can do for your baby when you return to work is to make sure you’ll be successful with pumping.

Call your HR department before you go back and ask if lactation rooms are available. If not, ask if they have ideas for how to accommodate your needs. You just need a clean, private room with a power outlet. That could mean getting the key to an empty storage room or having a lock installed on your office door. If they tell you to use the bathroom, tell them to take a hike. According to U.S. law, most workplaces have to provide accommodations for you. Brush up on federal and state laws here.

Side note: If your childcare provider is near your workplace, consider leaving during your lunch break to feed your baby. It’ll save you a pump session and give you time to bond with your baby. Be sure to discuss the logistics with your provider ahead of time.

For more tips on breastfeeding after you return to work, check out 6 Secrets to Success for Breastfeeding at Work.

8. Do a Dry Run

Pick a day near the end of your leave to test out your new schedule. If you’ll need to be in the office by 8:00 am, set the alarm for when you’ll need to get up. Run through your new routine and work out the kinks.

Maybe you’ll find that you need 20 minutes, not 10, to feed your baby. Or you could discover that getting to the daycare in rush-hour traffic takes twice as long as you thought. If you need to shave some time from your getting-ready routine, try setting out your outfit the night before. Try it on to make sure it fits you well. Iron it and check for spit-up stains. Time saved in the morning is more sleep for you.

Having a practice day will help remove some stress on that first day back in the office. And a little less stress is something every mama needs.

9. Change Your Purse

More specifically: Change where you PUT your purse or wallet in the car. Keep it in the backseat with baby.

Why? Nobody thinks they’ll be the ones to forget the baby in the backseat, but when you factor in sleep deprivation and feeling frantic with a more complicated routine getting yourself to work—it’s sadly not outside the realm of possibility. I’ve made some bonehead moves, like showing up to the grocery store, going to get my baby out of the carseat, and realizing I never buckled her up.

The danger is that you get on auto-pilot, baby falls asleep and doesn’t make a peep, and you drive from home to work without stopping at daycare first.

“Given the right scenario, I would say this can happen to anyone,” says [memory expert Dr. David Diamond]. “It has nothing to do with how much parents love their kids. It is, to me, a tragic way of learning how the brain works.”

Each of us has dueling memory systems, Diamond explains. The first – in the primitive, “reptilian” part of the brain – directs our habits. It’s the system that lets you drive home from work without thinking consciously about every turn. The second system – located in more advanced brain regions – is responsible for short-term plans, such as “Buy milk on the way home.” And as anyone who has ever forgotten that milk knows, the primitive “habit system” is much more powerful. “It’s very difficult to keep in your mind that you want to override your habit system,” Diamond says. “And it can take over almost immediately.”

Best insurance policy: Train yourself to keep your purse or wallet in the backseat.

Want More?

If you’re nursing, check out 6 Secrets to Success for Breastfeeding at Work.

Also, you’ll find more tips in these books:

• Happy at Work, Happy at Home: The Girl’s Guide to Being a Working Mom
• The Milk Memos: How Real Moms Learned to Mix Business with Babies – and How You Can, Too
• What Happy Working Mothers Know: How New Findings in Positive Psychology Can Lead to a Healthy and Happy Work/Life Balance

Your Turn

What’s your advice for returning to work after maternity leave? Share your tips in a comment below!

Social media photo by Kris Kesiak.

The post 9 Secrets for a Successful Return to Work After Maternity Leave appeared first on Happy You, Happy Family.

My maternity leave ends in three weeks.

I realize a 12-week leave is a luxury that many don’t get because the U.S. sucks in that department.

But instead of feeling grateful for the time I’ve had at home with my squiggly little newborn, I find myself whining like a 4-year-old.

These images keep running through my head…

My baby girl smiling after she’s done eating, half asleep with milk dribbling out the side of her mouth…

Ducking into a lactation room to pump in between meetings, and gritting my teeth because why is my body being so damn SLOW? I have 5 minutes to wrap it up AND wash everything AND drop the milk off at the fridge AND get to my next meeting…

Reading Mouse Paint to Bailey for the 42nd time of the day, and her laughing like it’s the first…

Leaving her with a stranger in a roomful of other babies, knowing that when my baby is hungry or tired or just wants some reassuring cuddles, she might have to wait a while. No. She WILL have to wait a while…

Bailey’s perfectly content sigh that always comes midway through a nap in my arms…

Rushing to pick up my baby from daycare, so I can get home and have one hour (maybe) with her before she goes to sleep for the night…

A Rude Awakening

We know how important the bond is between a mother and a baby, but at the arbitrary milestone of 12 weeks (or 8, or 2) we act like that bond is a baton you can hand off to a stranger like it ain’t no thang. (Sometimes a poorly paid, undertrained stranger.)

Disclaimer: I’m NOT in any way suggesting all women should stay home with their babies and not go back to work. I applaud the moms and dads who do take on that job, but to each their own.

Me? I enjoy my office job, and I want to work. But there’s a disconnect between “Here, have 12 weeks off work so you can focus on taking care of your sweet new baby” and “Break time is over, beyotch, get your ass back to work.”

In the U.S., you’re lucky to have ANY amount of maternity leave paid for by your employer. But what about after that leave? A transition back into the workplace definitely isn’t baked into the system.

But Hey, You Got Options

• Option #1: Go back to work full-time, stick your baby in childcare for 50 hours a week (factoring in commute times), and savor your weekends. See above re: pumping, strangers, etc.
• Option #2: Switch to part-time work to dial back your work obligations. Keep in mind you probably won’t get a real price break on childcare that’s part-time versus full-time. Nannies are more flexible with time, but the cost of nanny care is a butttload higher than a daycare, so part-time nanny care won’t save you anything compared to full-time daycare. And if you have a part-time salaried position, unless you’re very strict with yourself, it’s easy to end up working just as many hours as you did when you were earning a full-time salary. Which means you’re making less money AND probably paying for full-time childcare. Still, you have the theoretical promise of more time during the week with your baby.
• Option #3: Quit your job and be a stay-at-home mom. It’s a big financial pill to swallow if you’re used to two full-time paychecks, but many people are able to make it work.
• Option #4: Set up opposite work schedules for you and your partner. Maybe the love of your life goes to work from 6 am to 2 pm, and you work from 12 pm to 8 pm, so you just have to figure out childcare for a couple hours a day. But you’ll be sacrificing quality time with your partner, which probably isn’t very healthy in the long run.

(Oops, I almost left out the best option: Have a nursery built next to your office so you can pop in whenever you want throughout the day.)

I don’t know what the solution is – better tax breaks for childcare, employers stepping up to help families, people writing more books, women having fewer babies?

But I do know this: News articles and statistics and policy proposals don’t matter much when you’re faced with the very real decision of what to do when your leave is over.

What I’m Doing – Plus 5 Creative Childcare Solutions

I’m switching to a part-time work schedule for the next three months or so. I hope I can be strong and say no when it’s necessary.

Part-time is the best option for me right now, but I find myself ravenous for stories of other childcare solutions.

The beauty of these childcare ideas is that you’ll save some serious money AND get more time with your littles.

(For tips on transitioning back to work, you’ll need 9 Secrets for a Successful Return to Work After Maternity Leave.)

1. Keep It in the Family

One of my friends is blessed to have lots of family in town.

She works part-time in the office two days a week. Her mom takes care of her kids one of those days, and her dad hangs with them the other day. The kids get to form a great bond with their grandparents, and my friend saves beaucoup money. No huge childcare bill every month? Sounds mighty nice.

2. Get a Nanny With Baggage

Roo has a Rachel.

Rachel is Roo’s friend, and they each have a baby. Rachel comes to Roo’s house and watches the babies while Roo works. Roo pays Rachel, but it’s much more economical because Rachel is bringing her own baby to work so the hourly rate is lower than a traditional nanny setup. Rachel benefits because she gets to spend all day with her baby and make a little extra scratch while she’s at it.

Everybody wins! Especially the babies.

3. Bring Baby to Work

One mom I know uses a group work facility with an on-site daycare.

If she needs to focus on work for a couple hours, she pops into the co-working facility, drops her kids off in the daycare area, and gets down to business in the nearby (soundproof) work area. Mama doesn’t have to leave her workplace 45 minutes early to pick up her kids and then start the commute home because THE KIDS ARE ALREADY THERE WITH HER.

And if her littlest one gets hungry and needs to nurse, the daycare staff just call her over for a few minutes, and after that she gets right back to work.

4. Swap Your Baby

Some folks are starting babysitting co-ops with other families.

First, you find a few families with similar parenting philosophies. You could try a group of friends, church folks, neighbors. Then you swap babysitting when you need it. No money exchanges hands, but you use a point system to keep everything fair.

5. Share the Love

One couple I know works from home most of the time, and they both work part-time at 30 hours a week.

Dad works 7 am to 1 pm, and Mom works during the baby’s morning nap and again from 1 pm to 5 or 6 pm, depending on how good that morning nap was. If one of them needs to go into the office for a bit, the other watches the baby.

The best part? They don’t lose 1-2 hours of their day to commuting during rush hour – and they’re not paying for someone to watch their baby while they sit in traffic NOT working.

Want More?

Check out 9 Secrets for a Successful Return to Work After Maternity Leave.

Your Turn

What’s the best childcare solution you’ve ever heard of? Share your thoughts in a comment below!

Social media photo by Aquila.

The post 5 Creative Childcare Solutions You Will Totally Love appeared first on Happy You, Happy Family.

After having four babies, I’ve heard it all when it comes to newborn must haves.

Some people insist you’ll need every baby-related gadget ever invented to keep your baby happy and healthy. And yet others say the only real newborn must haves are your boobs, some diapers, and a comfy bed to sleep in – with the diapers and bed being optional.

I fall somewhere in between the two schools of thought. My default setting is frugal and minimalist, but if there’s a gadget that will make the exhausting newborn phase easier on me or my baby, I’m all over it.

For example, can you survive without a changing table? Of course.

But after a couple weeks of changing 20 diapers a day while bent over your baby on the floor or your bed, you may end up looking a bit like the Hunchback of Notre Dame and wish you’d at least gotten a changing pad to go on your dresser.

How This Newborn Must Haves List Is Different

Most of the comprehensive newborn must haves lists are from big companies, not real parents who zombied their way through sleepless nights with a newborn.

And some of the newborn must have lists feel like they were put together by someone who saw something random on Amazon and thought, “Hey, that’s cool!” – as opposed to a parent who’s trying to decide between onesies and sleepers because there’s not enough money to get both.

I’ve had four babies in ten years, so I have a pretty good idea what’s a must and what you can skip. I’ve made the mistake of spending money on things I thought were newborn must haves, only to kick myself when we were well past the newborn phase and those things were still sitting in a corner collecting dust.

Nothing beats the firsthand experience of tired parents, and that’s exactly what you get in this list written for parents by parents.

Related: 36 Awesome New Mom Gifts That She’ll Actually Appreciate

The Newborn Must Haves That Will Make Your Baby Happy (And You, Too)

Start your registry on Amazon^†, add these newborn must haves to it, and you’ll be ready to meet your little one.

^† This site is reader-supported. When you buy through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission.

Feeding Your Newborn

1. A Tracking App

In the hospital, they give you a single sheet of paper where you’re supposed to keep track of when your baby eats as well as every wet and dirty diaper. This is so they can be sure baby’s getting enough milk and all systems are go. A sheet of paper sounds simple, yes?

But it seems a lot less simple when it’s 5:00 am and you’ve slept a total of 4 hours in 30-minute stints, and you’re trying to find that single sheet of paper to record a dirty diaper that ended up all over her foot and your hand and…your hair?! You finally find the stupid paper, but now you can’t find a freaking PEN.

My phone is never far from me, so the MammaBaby app worked much better for tracking the ins and outs of our little ones. The price is steep for an app ($4.99), but it’s worth it. You can also track sleep patterns, growth at each pediatrician appointment, and which side to nurse on next.

2. A Non-Toxic Nursing Pillow

Your baby will need to eat every 1-3 hours in the early weeks, so he’s going to be on your nursing pillow a lot – eating and breathing, and sometimes even sleeping after that delicious milk coma sets in.

The problem with most nursing pillows you’ll find in the store is that they’re made of polyurethane foam, which is typically treated with flame retardants because the material is so flammable. Flame retardants are nasty stuff – they can cause abnormal brain development in children and lead to learning problems.

Why chance it with something your baby will be next to so often? The Nesting Pillow is a nursing pillow filled with all natural buckwheat hulls. In other words: no nasty chemicals. As an added benefit, the pillow conforms to your arm and the baby, which means it’s vastly superior at doing the job of actually supporting you once you get everyone into juuuuuust the right position.

3. Burp Cloths

You definitely do not need to buy special burp cloths. But you will need to have something on hand that’s soft (for baby’s sensitive skin) and absorbent (to catch or wipe up baby’s spit-up).

With my first baby, I didn’t realize the burp cloths I’d picked out – boring, brown prefold diapers – would be my fashion accessory 24-7. So for my second go-round, I decided to get something cute.

You may have your burp cloth of choice thrown over your shoulder most of your baby’s awake time, so if you want something a little nicer than an old washcloth, try something like the aden + anais Burpy Bib.

Bonus: This burp cloth doubles as a bib for later on when baby’s ready for solid foods.

Related: 25+ Surprising Essentials for Baby’s First Year

Getting Your Baby to Sleep

4. Endless White Noise

Babies are used to a constant whooshing sound from when they were inside your body, listening to the Symphony of Organ Functions. The quiet of the outside world is a little disconcerting to them:

“Wave upon wave of blood surging through the arteries of your womb makes this harsh, whooshing sound, which is as loud and rough as a gale wind blowing through the trees…Imagine your baby’s shock at birth when she emerges from that rich uterine world of loud quadraphonic whooshing into the quiet world of whispering and tiptoeing that parents create for their newborns. Sure, we may enjoy resting in a still room, but for your baby the silence can be deafening.”

The Happiest Baby on the Block

Every time you lay your newborn down to sleep, turn on some white noise to fill that void and help keep your little one asleep. But no need to get a separate gadget – just get a white noise app and stick your phone in a sound dock. (This sound dock is what we have.)

Full disclosure: You can find free white noise apps, but this specific White Noise app has 40+ different sounds to choose from. This is perfect because if your baby doesn’t like the popular brown noise or the research-proven pink noise, she may like the sounds of a rainstorm. Or a cat purring. Or a Tibetan singing bowl. Plus, you can get more sounds for free from the White Noise Market.

Diapering Your Newborn

5. A Magic Stick

In those early weeks, every single diaper was a poopy diaper. Every. Single. One. One of our kids developed a case of diaper rash that had us embarrassed to show our faces at her 2-week pediatrician appointment. We tried it all. Natural butt balms, mainstream barrier creams, and everything in between.

The ONLY product that cleared it up? GroVia Magic Stick. Side benefit: It’s in stick form, which means you can spread it on baby’s bum without getting goop all over your hands. Or you know, leftover fecal matter.

Keeping Your Baby Happy

6. The Teacher’s Edition

When it comes to calming down a fussy baby, this book has all the answers.

The Happiest Baby on the Block will teach you how to get your baby from cranky to calm in minutes. You can’t put a price on the knowledge you’ll get from this book.

And if you’re short on time, it has pictures to show you all the techniques and handy reference pages to save you from having to read the book cover-to-cover.

7. An Easy-On/Easy-Off Baby Carrier

The newborn stereotype is that they’ll sleep anytime, anywhere. But I was blessed with one newborn who did not want to sleep. Since week one, my second child never fell asleep on her own. We had to WORK to get her to sleep. And she fought it like hell.

But we discovered a trick that got her to sleep about 95 percent of the time, without much effort on our part: the Baby K’Tan carrier. When we noticed her eyes looking a little red or she’d yawned a couple times, we plopped her in the Baby K’Tan, walked around for 5 or 10 minutes, and she’d be OUT.

If you’d prefer something a little more structured than a wrap-style carrier, my babies also loved the Ergobaby Adapt. What I appreciate about the Ergobaby Adapt is that unlike similar carriers, it works from newborn to toddler and doesn’t need an extra insert to work for the newborn stage.

The Ergobaby Adapt is my go-to carrier for outside the house when we’re grocery shopping, running errands, or grabbing a meal at a restaurant. (Side note: I learned the hard way that a simple baby carrier is vastly superior to awkwardly lugging a clunky car seat into a store. Even if your baby is already asleep in the car seat, you can transfer to the baby carrier in less than a minute, and as soon as you start walking, your newborn will fall back to sleep.)

No matter which carrier you decide on, try to find one that’s easy and quick to put on and take off. For example, with my first baby, I loved the Moby wrap, but it wasn’t quick enough to put on. By the time I got it wrapped around my body and tied up the ends, my baby was annoyed and not so sleepy anymore.

8. A Bouncy Chair

First of all, you’ll want a safe, portable place to put the baby if you need to use the bathroom or move the laundry over. But here’s a side benefit of getting a bouncy chair for baby: A lot of babies need help getting rid of the gas (and other stuff) in their tiny tummies. You can bicycle their legs, massage their bellies, or lay them on their tummies to help. Those won’t help every time, though.

We stumbled upon a product that wasn’t intended to help in this situation, but it totally DOES. No list of newborn must haves would be complete without the BabyBjorn BabySitter Balance chair.

It took us a few days to pick up on the cause-and-effect relationship this chair has with our first baby’s digestive system. But now we know:

1. Put baby in chair.
2. Baby poops.

Works like a charm.

Keeping Your Baby Healthy And Safe

9. A Nose-Sucking Device

You’ll need a reliable way to suck the snot out of your sweet baby’s nose. Gross, yes. But when your baby can’t breathe due to snot blockage, scary will win out out over gross.

The hospital might give you a plastic blue bulb syringe to take home with you.

Free is good. But what’s not good is how you can never quite get those bulbs cleaned out after the first few uses. (Check out these photos of the inside of a blue bulb that was cleaned properly after every use.)

We loved the Nosefrida nasal aspirator as a more hygienic blue bulb alternative. But if you prefer old school, you may want to get a package of a few extra blue bulbs so you can swap out for fresh new ones every now and then.

10. A Pediatrician At Your Beck And Call

A few days after we got home from the hospital, my second baby’s eyes suddenly had all this yellow goo. My first thought was “Pinkeye,” and my second thought was…a bad word.

Then I looked it up in The Baby Book. False alarm. It turns out some babies get plugged tear ducts, so you just have to massage them to open them up. Um…

HOW DO YOU MASSAGE A TEAR DUCT.

Baby Book to the rescue again!

Newborn bodies are just plain weird – flaky skin, swollen baby breasts, kaleidoscopic poo.

You need a reliable reference where you can look stuff up without having to wade through crazy search results that at best give you information like “my cousin’s next-door neighbor’s hairdresser said that’s totally normal, and she heard it straight from a nurse so I know it’s true” and at worst scare you into going to the ER at 3:00 am.

11. Nail Scissors

Nail clippers may seem like a nice-to-have – until your sweet baby draws blood on her own precious little face and you realize you need to trim the miniature daggers attached to her fingers.

But forget those medieval torture devices they call “baby nail clippers.” You’ll end up accidentally snipping your baby’s delicate skin, and what will appear to be BUCKETS of blood will pour out of the tiniest of cuts.

The Piyo Piyo Baby Nail Scissors are much easier to use.

More Must Have Baby Items

12. A Handy Camera

When you’re on the couch with your baby in your arms and she flashes you her first gummy smile, that fancy DSLR is going to seem an awful long way away. But I bet you’ll have your phone on you – or at least within reach. Splurge on the 99-cent Camera+ app to kick your phone photos up a notch, or ten.

Then check out these tips for using the Camera+ app.

Want More?

Check out 25+ Surprising Essentials for Baby’s First Year.

Your Turn

What would you add to this list of newborn must haves? Share in a comment below!

The post 12 Magical Newborn Must Haves You Need on Your Registry appeared first on Happy You, Happy Family.

When you’re pregnant, nobody mentions the three dirty little secrets of pregnancy and childbirth:

1. The timer doesn’t magically go “ding!” on your due date, and you could very likely go past your due date.
2. The definition of “sleeping through the night” – that holy grail every parent dreams of – is when your baby sleeps 6 hours in a row, not 8.
3. After the baby comes, your uterus is empty but you still look REAL DANG PREGNANT. For weeks.

You can’t do much about #1 and 2 besides just get through the hard times. But for #3, you don’t have to suffer. All you need are the right postpartum clothes.

The Other Belly

When you’re newly pregnant, the first signs of a baby pooch can make you feel a little giddy. And for good reason – it’s an outward confirmation that a sweet baby is, in fact, growing inside you. Every week you tick off, your belly grows and your baby grows and it’s all very sweet and exciting.

But after the baby’s born and your belly still looks 6 months pregnant?

Not so sweet and exciting.

On top of that, you have milk leaking out of a lot more holes than you realized even existed, you’re recovering from trying to push a bowling ball out of your potty spot and/or from major abdominal surgery, and you’re tired as BALLS.

The jiggly baby belly sans baby can be the straw that broke the tired mama camel’s back.

A Painful Walk

The day after my daughter was born – another C-section I didn’t plan on – the postpartum nurse encouraged me to take a walk around the hospital to help the healing process along. Ty and I left the baby in the room with family and decided to head to the hospital cafeteria. I was wearing a super fashionable hospital gown, and I threw another one around my shoulders like a robe to avoid flashing everyone with my sexy, hospital-issued, post-surgery mesh undies.

It was my first walk after the surgery, and probably a little over-ambitious, but the cafeteria had a molten chocolate cake with my name on it.

Down a few hallways, an elevator ride, down some more hallways. Our progress was SLOW.

When we got on the elevator, a nurse was already on it and smiled at us. The ride was quiet, and I soaked up the break from physical exertion.

The elevator door opened, and I shuffled forward.

The nurse followed us off and flashed an oh-so-understanding smile as she passed us. “Walking to get baby out, huh?”

My mouth gaped open, and my cheeks flushed. “Uh, baby’s already out.”

AWKWARD.

I laughed an uncomfortable laugh, and the nurse scurried off.

Related: 36 Awesome New Mom Gifts That She’ll Actually Appreciate

7 Tips for the Best + Most Comfortable Postpartum Clothes

The number one goal of postpartum clothes: Avoid questions like: When are you due and Are you going to find out the sex and Is this your first.

A few years back, I worked as a stylist for a large personal styling service. Using that firsthand experience helping postpartum moms and after talking to everyone I know about how they solved the problem of a postpartum wardrobe, I pulled together a few of the best tips for what you can wear postpartum.

Keep in mind that it took 9 months (or more!) for your body to get to where it is, so be patient while it finds its way back – and it may settle in a different spot than where it started. Some doctors estimate it takes 6-10 weeks just for your uterus to get back to pre-pregnancy size, let alone the rest of your bits and pieces.

In the meantime, it’s important to feel good about yourself. You’re sleep-deprived, everything you do takes twice as long as it used to, and you’ve got some wicked hormones running rampant through your postpartum body. If you can get dressed in the morning (even if it’s at 11:59 am) and feel good about how you look, tackling the day will be much easier.

Disclaimer: A few of these postpartum fashion tips assume you will be breastfeeding and/or pumping. That’s what I know so that’s what I shared, but if it doesn’t apply to your situation I hope the other tips will be helpful!

1. Repurpose Your Maternity Clothes

Don’t go boxing up your maternity clothes as soon as you get home from the hospital. My all-time favorite Paige maternity jeans^† were a go-to staple during the postpartum stage whenever I needed to leave the house and didn’t want to look like I was wearing pajamas.

^† This site is reader-supported. When you buy through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission.

Any maternity bottoms with an elastic waist will be your friend after baby comes. (Confession: I wore this foldover skirt every day for two weeks after my summer baby was born, and they have oodles of colors to choose from.)

One more piece of maternity wear that was absolutely essential to me during the postpartum period? This very specific brand and style of postpartum underwear. They come in lots of pretty colors, they were kind to my healing C-section incision, and I didn’t feel like I was wearing granny panties. (This was of course after the glamorous mesh panties phase of postpartum. Although if you’re not into the mesh panties, you can always get something more supportive like these maternity boyshort undies for that first phase.)

Related: Got Greasy Hair Postpartum? Here’s a Simple + Cheap Fix

2. Get Some Stretchy Basics

If you don’t have any maternity clothes that fit the bill, pick up some cheap basics with a stretchy waistband that you can pair with cute tops. Yoga pants are the go-to postpartum pants for many moms, but pants won’t cut it for me in the Texas summer.

I hit the jackpot at H&M with some cute skirts for just $12.95 each, so I got a couple different colors.

Leggings are another good option, paired with tunics or short dresses. However, I tried on several different brands of leggings and joggers but struggled to find a good fit. If they fit me length-wise and weren’t too baggy in the legs, they were too tight on the tummy. What finally worked was a pair of high-waist leggings, but maternity leggings will work too.

3. Give the Girls a Break With the Right Nursing Bras

For the first couple weeks after your baby’s born, your boobs are going to be a MESS. Huge, leaky, aching. Forget about trying to stuff yourself into your pre-pregnancy bras.

Get a good quality sleep bra and wear that for those early weeks. Actually, get two or three. Remember the leaky bit? You’ll want a backup when your bra is in the wash.

I’ve tried a few different brands, and the Majamas Organic Easy Bra is my favorite. They’re soft and comfy, but they have enough support to get you by until your body stabilizes and you can get a real bra.

4. Feel Sexy From the Inside Out With a Fun Bra, Too

The MINUTE you feel like your breast size has settled – usually after a couple weeks once your body figures out how many babies you’re nursing – get yourself a real nursing bra.

I tried on bra after bra after bra from Motherhood Maternity, Pea in the Pod, Target, Gap, and several other brands available at a local maternity boutique. Here is what I learned:

1. Most nursing bras fit like crap. They smush you together into a single amorphous blob, or they pinch your back fat, or they don’t even perform the basic bra function of you know, HOLDING YOUR BOOBS UP.
2. Most nursing bras are frumpy. They look like something your great-grandma would have worn. Forget demi cups. But hey, good news – the cups can double as a neck warmer!
3. Most nursing bras are boring. Nude or black. That’s pretty much it. If you do happen to find a bra with a cute pattern or some lace? See #1 and #2.

But I kept looking and finally found a brand that fits awesome AND looks like something you might have worn before you had a kid – Belabumbum.

As it turns out, you CAN feel pretty while wearing a nursing bra. The day my Belabumbum bras arrived in the mail, I ran to try them on. So, so pretty.

And I was so happy to not feel like a lactating cow that I walked around the house the rest of the day, lounging around in nothing but my pretty new bra and my black H&M skirt with the stretchy waistband.

Sorry about that, neighbors!

5. Go for Function With Basic Nursing Tops

Nursing tops have a lot of the same issues as nursing bras. Not to mention they can be outrageously priced.

But you can find some simple, affordable nursing tops at places like Gap, Old Navy, and H&M. When you’re out running errands and baby gets hungry, a nursing top is awfully convenient for getting the job done.

Pick up a few basic staples that you can mix and match with pre-pregnancy clothes. Pair a black nursing tank with a cute cardigan, or get a bright nursing t-shirt to go with the black yoga postpartum pants you find yourself wearing 24-7. (This flowy 2-in-1 top is my favorite pick-up from my last pregnancy. Pair it with jeans, and you’ll look awesome!)

If you can’t find any nursing tops you like, look for regular tops with a crossover bodice or an elastic neckline, or buy one size up for a flowy look so you can easily lift up the top to nurse.

A quick warning: You might want to avoid banded tops – that is, blouson-style tops with a fitted hem but loose up above. I wasn’t alone in thinking that they’re the perfect trick for hiding your poochy little belly. But for me, all they did is call attention to my belly where it pushes out the fabric. Banded tops hide nothing on me and make me look even bigger. Which is totally not the goal for postpartum clothes!

6. Splurge on Something Fun

You were busting out of your pregnancy clothes in those last few weeks, feeling like a morbidly obese penguin. Now you’re in this purgatory where those clothes won’t work AND your pre-pregnancy wardrobe definitely won’t work.

Comfort is important, but you also deserve to have fun. So during this in-between time, treat yourself to a couple fun items.

Here are a few fun ideas for how you might complete your postpartum outfit:

• A pretty dress that’s nursing friendly so you don’t have to lift up from the bottom to nurse when you’re out and about,
• A flowy cardigan to mix and match with basic nursing tanks, or
• That simple but elegant necklace you’ve been eying on Etsy for a while? (Seriously. Why don’t I just buy it already?!)

7. Avoid the Tent Look With Nursing Covers

Nursing covers come in all kinds of pretty fabrics nowadays. But when you put the cover on, it can feel like a cross between a 4-person tent and your grandma’s apron.

Some might say to just use a blanket. For me, blankets have a tendency to fall off my shoulder at the worst time. And here in Texas, the baby doesn’t take too kindly to a blanket over her face, trapping in the heat.

I’m a fan of the scarf-style nursing covers because you can nurse (mostly) hands-free. Look for one with thin, breathable fabric to keep baby happy too.

Want More?

For more tips on stylish postpartum clothes, check out The Perfect Postpartum Wardobe, Postpartum Mommy Makeover: Dressing for the Fourth Trimester, and Postpartum Survival Kit.

Your Turn

What’s your best tip for postpartum clothes that won’t make you look pregnant? Share in a comment below!

The post 7 Tips for the Best + Most Comfortable Postpartum Clothes appeared first on Happy You, Happy Family.

As a second-time mom, I thought I was covered as far as the baby must haves. Sure, those newborn essentials were a little well-worn, but I had what I needed to survive the newborn phase.

But when my second child arrived, I realized my mistake.

Because suddenly, I had a newborn and an older kid to wrangle:

• When the baby went down for a nap, I spent every ounce of energy, creativity, and patience I had to keep my big kid quiet.
• When they were both awake, that was when my big kid needed something like a snack or help using the bathroom.
• If we ran out of an essential like diapers or wipes or mom’s emergency chocolate stash, jumping in the car to run to Target wasn’t as easy as before – because now I had to line up two kids’ schedules and moods.

And so when I was in the trenches with two little ones, I realized some baby gear that seemed unnecessary the first time around was now absolutely essential.

Since my second baby was born, I’ve gone on to have two more babies, so I learned through trial and error what you really need on your second baby registry for welcoming another baby into the mix when you have an older child.

7 Musts for Your Second Baby Registry That Will Make Your Life Easier

Below, I’m sharing my lessons learned so you can beef up your own second baby registry. These second baby must haves will make the transition from one child to two as easy as possible for you.

By the way, if you haven’t started your second baby registry yet, I loved the Amazon baby registry^†. You can add any product from any site, plus it’s super easy to share it with friends and family.

^† This site is reader-supported. When you buy through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission.

1. The Cushy Closer

Of all these second baby must haves, this one has been the biggest lifesaver. We’re still using ours with our fourth baby, and we have several in the house.

So what’s the big deal about The Cushy Closer?

When the baby goes down for a nap, you’ll want her to get good rest so she doesn’t end up overtired and fighting sleep the rest of the day. But your older child isn’t quite self-aware enough yet to know what “be quiet” means.

You can say it until you’re blue in the face, but they just won’t get it. Expect them to do everything at normal (loud!) volume, from talking to shutting doors. You’ll soon realize that your older child doesn’t shut doors so much as slam them, and that’s where The Cushy Closer comes in.

This genius invention fits around a doorknob and the latch in order to cushion the sound of the door closing.

Before we got these little contraptions for the kids’ rooms and the bathroom door, the big kids would wake up the baby during every single nap. Now, the baby sleeps through the doors opening and closing, and the big kids don’t have to deal with a grumpy mom snapping at them. Win-win!

My Pick: The Cushy Closer

2. Eyes in the Back of Your Head

If you didn’t get a baby monitor with your first baby, you’ll definitely want it on your second baby registry. That way, you can take your (loud!) older kid outside or in another part of your home while your baby sleeps.

Even if you already have a baby monitor, you’ll want to consider upgrading to a monitor that supports two cameras.

Here’s why: When you’re trying to put baby down for a nap, that’s when your older kid will decide to grab a dining room chair, drag it to the kitchen, and climb up on the counter to get into your secret chocolate stash. Or worse: Get into something dangerous like knives or cleaning solutions.

Add a baby monitor with two cameras to your second baby checklist, and you can set up the extra camera to watch your older kid while you’re getting your baby down for a nap. That way you can focus on getting your baby calmed down and rest assured knowing you’re keeping your big kid safe, too.

My Pick: Infant Optics DXR-8 Video Baby Monitor plus the Add-On Camera Unit

3. Fresh Burp Cloths

When I went to pull the burp cloths out of storage, I got an unpleasant surprise: All those baby spit-up stains had yellowed from age, and my formerly cute burp cloths looked pretty nasty.

You’ll have those things thrown over your shoulder the vast majority of the time, so add new burp cloths to your second baby registry. That way, you won’t feel like barfing if you catch a glimpse of yourself in the hallway mirror wearing a ratty old burp cloth.

Bonus for the brand I’m using this go-round: They double as bibs later on when baby’s ready for solid foods.

My Pick: aden + anais Burpy Bib

4. An Easy-On/Easy-Off Baby Carrier

With two kiddos to manage, you’ll often find yourself in situations where they both need you at the same time. For example, your baby may be fussy at the same time your big kid needs help using the bathroom.

In those situations, you’ll want a baby carrier that’s easy to put on and take off. For my first child, I loved the Moby, but with my second baby I realized it wasn’t quick enough to put on when my big kid needed me, too.

I’ve used both the Baby K’tan Baby Carrier and the Ergobaby Adapt, and I loved both. What I appreciate about the Ergobaby Adapt is that unlike similar carriers, it works from newborn to toddler and doesn’t need an extra insert to work for the newborn stage.

My Pick: Baby K’tan Baby Carrier or the Ergobaby Adapt

5. Double Capacity

If your big kid still rides in a stroller, consider adding a double stroller to your second baby registry.

As an alternative, you can put your baby in your carrier like the Ergobaby Adapt and keep your big kid in the stroller. But you may find that you don’t appreciate the feeling of having an 11-pound turkey strapped to your chest while pushing forward with both arms.

We fell in love with the UPPAbaby Vista Stroller because both kids fit comfortably without the stroller needing to be double-wide. (Trying to fit a double-wide stroller through narrow areas is certainly no fun!)

And if you end up having another little one later on, you can actually fit three kids on the Vista with their PiggyBack accessory.

But if you have bumpy roads or hilly areas in your neighborhood, you may want something a bit beefier like the BOB Revolution Flex Duallie Jogging Stroller. Just beware that if you go with this stroller, you’ll need to get an adapter so the baby’s car seat can snap in during the first few months when baby can’t sit up unassisted.

My Pick: UPPAbaby Vista Stroller or BOB Revolution Flex Duallie Jogging Stroller

6. Endless White Noise

To help drown out the noise of your big kid while your baby is sleeping, you’ll want to add a white noise machine to your second baby registry.

Bonus: Babies are used to a constant whooshing sound from when they were inside your body, so white noise is something your baby will love anyway. But no need to get a separate gadget – just get a white noise app and stick your phone in a sound dock. (This sound dock is what we have.)

You can find free white noise apps, but this specific White Noise app has 40+ different sounds to choose from. This is perfect because if your baby doesn’t like the popular brown noise or the research-proven pink noise, she may like the sounds of a rainstorm. Or a cat purring. Or a Tibetan singing bowl. Plus, you can get more sounds for free from the White Noise Market.

My Pick: Logitech Portable iPod/iPhone Speaker Dock and this White Noise app

7. Non-Chewed Books

Odds are your first kid did a number on all those brand new baby board books you had the first go-round. If any titles in your baby book collection have been chewed on, slobbered on, and/or torn to pieces, go ahead and add a replacement to your second baby registry.

You’ll be happy you did for three reasons:

• You can feel good about reading to your baby from the start.
• When you need to entertain both kids at the same time, you can grab a big stack of books and go to town.
• If your first baby’s library had any boring or mind-numbing books, now’s your chance to recycle the chewed-up versions and replace them with high-quality baby board books you’ll actually enjoy reading.

My Pick: The Best Baby Board Books That Will Delight Your Baby (And You)

Want More?

Check out Baby Must Haves: 25+ Surprising Essentials for Baby’s First Year for more tips on which baby gear you’ll need.

Your Turn

What baby gear do you recommend for a second baby registry? Leave a comment below to share your tips!

The post 7 Musts for Your Second Baby Registry That Will Save Your Sanity appeared first on Happy You, Happy Family.

Pastels plastered everywhere, toilet paper wrapped around the expectant mom’s belly, sniffing chocolate bars melted in diapers – baby showers are by definition inappropriate. And everyone knows the only way to combat inappropriateness is to dish out more of the same.

But if you’re getting tired of bringing the same old boring gifts to every baby shower, here are a few fresh ideas for you. The best part? No gag gifts in this list. These are all things baby and mama will NEED.

21 Funny Baby Shower Gifts That Are Actually Useful for Baby and Mom

Skip the diapers, bottles, and all those boring newborn essentials. Because these funny baby shower gifts might be slightly inappropriate, but they’re useful, too.

If you’d like to add one of those “boring” baby must haves to your gift to balance it out, check out The Newborn Must Haves That Will Make Your Baby Happy (And You, Too). And if you’d like to throw in something special just for the new mom, you’ll need this list: 36 Awesome New Mom Gifts That She’ll Actually Appreciate.

Related: The Newborn Must Haves That Will Make Your Baby Happy (And You, Too)

Toys for Baby

The new little one will need toys anyway – why not get a couple toys that double as funny baby shower gifts?

1. A Taste of Bacon^†

^† This site is reader-supported. When you buy through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission.

Let baby cut her teeth on the good stuff. This bacon is guilt-free, too – BPA free, lead free, PVC free, and phthalate free.

2. A Buff Baby

If the baby’s parents are into lifting, get baby hooked on it right out of the gate with this dumbbell cleverly disguised as a baby rattle.

3. Baby’s First Video Game

Don’t worry – it’s just an adorable teether.

Precious Keepsakes

These funny baby shower gifts will earn a special place in the new parents’ hearts as treasures they’ll keep for years and years.

4. The Best Prop for Baby’s Birth Announcement

After the new parents take their sweet newborn announcement photo with this blanket, it can become baby’s favorite swaddling blanket, stroller cover, or breastfeeding cover-up. Plus, it’s organic.

5. The Most Realistic Baby Book

Most parents fill out the first few pages of the baby book, then lose steam and forget all about it. But those typical baby books forget the important milestones covered in this one: first curse word, first middle-of-the-night call to the doctor, first apocalyptic poop, and more.

Baby’s First Library

The new parents will get stuck reading the same kids’ books over and over again, so these funny baby shower gifts will help them stay sane.

To complement a gift of one of these kids’ books with a few less edgy titles, check out The Best Baby Board Books That Will Delight Your Baby (And You).

6. A Cautionary Tale

Every good children’s book should have a moral.

7. A Head Start

Teaching baby all about bodily functions certainly can’t hurt when it comes time for potty training. (By the way, you can’t go wrong with any of the board books by Leslie Patricelli!)

8. A Bedtime Story

Full disclosure: The new parents may not end up reading this one to their sweet babe, but sleep-deprived parents everywhere appreciate this picture book. And if this title is up your alley, you may want to pick up the companion title for when baby’s a little older, You Have to F*****g Eat.

Onesies And Other Baby Essentials

These funny baby gifts will knock off a few newborn must haves on the baby’s registry.

9. A Onesie With ‘Tude

Keep baby safe from strangers’ germs with this warning in onesie form.

10. A Manly Accessory

To complete the cowboy look for this mustache pacifier, be sure to get the next gift on the list…

11. Stylish Bibs

Every lil cowboy needs a few good bandanas.

12. A Snot Sucker

This sounds like a gag gift, but it’s actually the most useful gift on this whole list. The new parents will need a reliable way to suck the snot out of their sweet baby’s nose. Gross, yes. But when their baby can’t breathe due to snot blockage, scary will win out out over gross.

13. A Hat

This is perfect for the breastfed baby – just to mess with folks who get all bent out of shape about moms nursing in public.

14. A Halloween Costume

Pair this pacifier with a coordinating outfit, and baby will be all set for Halloween.

15. A Baby Who Knows What’s Up

For when you have a feeling that the kid will turn into a little smarty pants.

Funny Baby Shower Gifts to Make Mom’s Life Easier

These gifts may get a chuckle at the baby shower, but the new mom will thank you later.

16. A Special Kind of Massager

Get your mind out of the gutter. This is for massaging mom’s breasts when she’s got clogged ducts or she’s struggling to get over an infection.

17. The Baby Shusher

This sounds like a gimmick, but it can be incredibly useful for getting baby to sleep – and keeping baby asleep. The Baby Shusher makes a white noise sound that reminds babies of being in the womb, plus it helps block out the sound of the doorbell ringing, dogs barking, and your neighbor firing up the leaf blower.

18. Soaker-Uppers

The name may make you giggle, but if the new mom will be breastfeeding, these will be essential for soaking up leaking milk before it ruins her shirt.

19. A Bidet in a Bottle

The hospital gives you a bottle for getting clean “down there,” but you’re working against gravity with that cheap plastic bottle. This one’s actually designed to be held upside down.

Books for Mom

The new mom will be stuck in a chair feeding the baby for hours every day, so get her a funny book to keep her entertained.

20. An Activity Book

Why should kids have all the fun? This book is filled with quizzes, mazes, fill-in-the-blanks, and journaling pages to distract the new mom from pregnancy discomfort.

21. An Owner’s Manual

Who says babies don’t come with a manual? This is a funny take on a parenting book, but it actually answers most common questions new parents may have…with diagrams!

Want More?

Pair one of these funny baby shower gifts with a couple newborn must haves to make her life easier, and you’ll be her best friend for life.

Your Turn

Which funny baby shower gifts would you add? Share in a comment below!

The post 21 Funny Baby Shower Gifts That Are Actually Useful for Baby and Mom appeared first on Happy You, Happy Family.

Many moons ago, before I racked up three cats to my name, I had another furry addiction—I had a house full of dogs.

I owned a handful of my own and fostered many more for a local rescue group. I could never quite get the stink of dog off my hands no matter how often I washed them, and I sometimes fantasized about inventing a full-body lint-rolling device that would surely make me millions.

As a foster, you come across all different types of dogs – shy or outgoing, dogs who lick your toes or dogs who go for your crotch, sweet lap dogs or dogs like that one named Tigger who had a 5-foot vertical leap and REALLY liked to show it off. So I took training and obedience classes from several different dog trainers to learn how best to manage my ever-changing pack.

One of the most valuable situations I learned to handle was how you properly introduce your dog to a new baby – so your beloved Cosmo doesn’t think Baby is his new chew toy.

You get yourself ready for baby by building a registry for the baby must haves and the just plain awesome and by making a pre-baby checklist – so don’t forget that your pup needs to get ready too.

If you think your dog doesn’t need any help to get ready to meet your new baby, remember this: Dogs can tell you’re pregnant even in the first trimester. They just don’t know how many puppies you’re having.

And as you’ll learn below, their fear of that unknown could lead to serious problems. Children are the most common victims of dog bites, with half of bite victims being under the age of thirteen.

Bonus: As a bonus for joining my weekly newsletter, get a free checklist that will help you get your dog ready to meet your new baby.

First, a Caveat (Or Three)

• If any of these tips don’t make sense, please follow up with a professional trainer. I am nowhere near a professional. I just wanted to share the few tips I’ve learned over the years on how to succeed at introducing dog to baby. It’s better to be safe and understand what you’re doing than to confuse your dog.
• This post is very matter-of-fact about what can go wrong. One trainer always said he was being blunt on purpose because he’s tired of seeing perfectly fine animals having to be put down or dropped off at a shelter because they were set up for failure when the new baby came into the house. The best time to prepare is before a new baby arrives. After, you’ll have much less time for dog training.
• If your dog shows any warning signs with your babe like growling, snapping, or lunging, please seek professional help immediately. If you wait until the warning signs progress to an actual bite, it’s a harder problem to solve.

Now onto the tips…

9 Tips for Introducing Dog to Baby

At the end of this post, you can get a free checklist version of these tips. Don’t just bookmark this page and forget about it until after your baby’s born and your dog is stressing out – print the checklist and stick it on your fridge now!

1. Sit on the Couch

Aggressive dogs typically have two things in common: They’re not good on a leash, and they have a bad recall – i.e. they don’t always come when you call them. So if your dog isn’t great in those two areas, those would be good things to work on to start with. Recall is easy peasy. You don’t even have to get off the couch!

1. Get a few treats ready to go in your hand or pocket. (My dogs and fosters always LOVED the Solid Gold Turkey Jerky treats, and they’re soft enough to break in half to make your training treat stash last longer.)
2. Sit on a chair or the couch with your legs slightly open – enough room so your dog can come sit between your legs.
3. Call your dog: “Tuna, come!”
4. Wait til they come and sit at your feet.
5. The moment their butt hits the ground, give that pup a treat!

2. Understand Why Your Dog Loves You

Even though we like to think that dogs love us, what they really love are RESOURCES. They love that we provide the resources they want – food, attention, play, and so on. What is typically behind any behavior issue is fear and frustration about resources. For dogs, it’s all about another pack member to feed and share resources with.

3. Play the Bumping Game

Space is the biggest way to control resources in the home. This is BIG for preventing aggression from the time your child can walk until it grows out of toddlerhood. Why? Because controlling the space will teach your dog to move out of the child’s way as it approaches.

Do you step around or over your dog at home? Stop doing that! You’re letting your dog control the space.

Start playing the bumping game:

1. If your dog is in your path, stay on your path.
2. Don’t make eye contact with the dog.
3. Nudge the dog with your foot to get the dog to move out of your way, then continue on your way. A few tips:
   • Don’t kick the dog as you push through – that’s not necessary. Just put your foot forward and push through until the dog moves.
   • Don’t verbally warn the dog that you’re about to make them move. Just do it. Dogs don’t verbally warn each other when they’re about to walk through each other’s space. And your toddler won’t be able to say “excuse me,” so don’t waste your breath teaching your dog that they need to move out of your way only when you ask politely.

You may feel bad at first, but if you want to prevent your dog from snapping at or biting your toddling babe, it is essential to establish that you control the space and not your dog. From the time your precious bundle learns to walk, he – much like a drunken sailor – stumbles into the sleeping or eating area of the dog. The dog will typically correct to the child’s face. If you’ve ever seen a dog correct another dog, that’s exactly how they do it – over the muzzle. YOU DON’T WANT THIS TO HAPPEN.

After playing the bumping game consistently, what you should start to notice is your dog seeing you coming and getting out of your way. That’s exactly the behavior you want for your child. Score!

4. Switch the Kibble

Diet is important for dogs. For the same reason kids will have behavior problems if you feed them a lot of sugar every day, dogs will react to a bad diet too. Avoid these ingredients in your dog’s food: corn, wheat, soy, eggs, dye, sugar. Everything but sugar is a common allergen for dogs, and sugar is bad for behavior in general.

Some brands I’ve had good luck with are California Natural and Wellness. You might have to buy at a pet store or online instead of at the grocery store, but diet makes all the difference in the world for preventing behavior problems. It’s worth it.

Bonus Tip: Bananas produce serotonin, which can help combat aggression. So if you find a kibble with banana as an ingredient, great. Otherwise, you can give your dog a little banana everyday. (Now you have a way to use up all those over-ripe bananas instead of letting them stink up your trash can til garbage day.)

5. Put Your Dog on a Feeding Schedule

Always give your dog its daily kibble AFTER you and your kids eat. This establishes your family as the leaders of the pack.

Also, don’t leave your dog’s kibble out all day long. The dog will be stressed when the food is left out all day because they will see it as a resource to guard. When you feed the dog, you should set the food down, they should eat it, then you should pick up the bowl when they’re done. If the dog leaves the food bowl, they’re done. Pick it up. Don’t worry – they’ll learn fast.

6. Play House

Before your baby arrives, get a baby doll that matches your skin color (like this). Get blankets, baby powder, toys, diapers – anything you know you’ll be using with the baby.

Starting when you’re about 7 months pregnant, play house for 20 minutes (or more) every night. Nurse the baby doll, play with it, put it in a baby carrier attached to your body – do anything you can think of. All the while, make sure you’re playing the bumping game. The reason you’re doing this is to set the rules now for how to act around the baby because when the baby comes, you’ll be too busy to worry about this.

7. Capture Baby Smells

Get 12 gallon-sized plastic bags and put them in the bag that will go to the hospital or birthing center. Everything that gets changed off the baby like booties, hats, onesies, etc, goes into a bag. Seal the bag right away and don’t open it again til you use it. One item per bag. (And no, don’t put dirty diapers in the bags.)

Then after baby is born but before baby comes home, send your partner home to check on the dog and do as many of these as possible:

• Before you walk in the door, open a bag and attach an item to you somehow – for example, tie a piece to your belt loop. You want to get the smell of the baby on your body so when the dog has the happy emotion of seeing you, they’ll associate the smell of the baby with that.
• Rub an item on a ball, then play fetch. I promise you’re not teaching the dog to fetch the baby. But the dog will associate the smell on the ball with the happy emotion of playing fetch.

• Put an item at the bottom of the dog’s food bowl and put the food on top. Again, you’re not teaching the dog to eat the baby. But smell is the most powerful sense for dogs, so you’re using that to your advantage to associate the baby’s smell with happy times for the dog.

8. Feed Often

When you bring another human home, the dog will think there will be fewer resources for him, so your job is to show the dog that’s not the case.

Feed the dog 10 times a day, with at least two minutes between each feeding. Do this for two weeks. Feed the same amount of kibble you usually do, but just split it up into 10 parts. The dog won’t understand that they’re getting the same amount of food, they’ll just think they hit the jackpot! This will be a good association for them to have with the arrival of the baby. After two weeks, start tapering. Do 8 times for 2-3 days, 6 times for 2-3 days, and so on.

9. Now Teach the Baby

When the baby is about 4 months old, sit her on your lap. Call the dog over and get him to sit at your feet. Pet the dog with long, soft strokes and say “easy.” Never pat the head of the dog. This is how you teach a child to pet a dog and not hit.

Also, don’t allow your baby or toddler to see you turning the dog’s ears to check them. You don’t want to teach the child that it’s okay for her to do that to the dog.

Get Your Free Printable

1. Get the checklist. You’ll get the printable, plus join my weekly newsletter! Just click here to get it and subscribe.
2. Print.
3. Stick it on your fridge, and get to work prepping that pup!

This post is dedicated to Lee Mannix (1969-2010). He knew a whole heck of a lot about dogs.

Want More?

For more tips on getting ready for baby’s arrival, check out:

• Preparing Your Dog for a New Baby
• Tell Your Dog You’re Pregnant: An Essential Guide For Dog Owners Who Are Expecting A Baby (thanks to reader Imogen for this recommendation!)

Your Turn

Got a tip for introducing dog to baby? Leave a comment to share!

The post 9 Ways to Get Your Dog Ready to Meet Your New Baby appeared first on Happy You, Happy Family.