Comments on: The Most Powerful Way to Respond When Your Kid Gives Up https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/kid-gives-up/ Thu, 04 Jan 2024 18:34:47 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.8.3 By: Anna https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/kid-gives-up/#comment-50423 https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/?p=6008#comment-50423 Any ideas for scaling this idea up for a 6th grader? Her school never did homework, and now she’s facing *gasp* actual work that needs doing at home. She has always had a short fuse, and despite much effort on our parts to help her over the years, she still gets frustrated super easily. Lately she has taken to assuming she’s “stupid”, that school doesn’t matter, or that our expectations are too high (trust me, they are not). To even get to the point where we can celebrate mistakes, she needs to be willing to sit with the work for more than 5 minutes without arguing that it’s pointless. I’m at my wits’ end.

]]> By: Liz F. https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/kid-gives-up/#comment-45129 https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/?p=6008#comment-45129 Two things that helped my grandson keep trying when learning to read:
1. Telling him that English was a very difficult language to learn because the forms of words were not consistent as in Spanish or Italian
2. Telling him everybody makes mistakes, sharing my own mistakes and laughing about them – we started calling them “mis-snakes.”

]]> By: Stephanie https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/kid-gives-up/#comment-45085 https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/?p=6008#comment-45085 First of all, I love this – I think it could actually help my daughter (soon to be 7) and it also gave me some insight into my own childhood and feelings about failure. I feel like practicing this approach could make me a better parent (after all, in theory the more parenting mistakes I make…). One thing I can’t stop thinking about though… what school/type of school does your daughter go to that they have spelling tests with words like science and November in 1st grade?! I would like my daughter to go there. :)

]]> By: Megan https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/kid-gives-up/#comment-43862 https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/?p=6008#comment-43862 Love this! I will definitely be trying this method on my son. Thank you for the idea!

]]> By: CC https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/kid-gives-up/#comment-43800 https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/?p=6008#comment-43800 Thank you!!!!! Omg I’ve been growing more and more frustrated with being unable to reach my kid no matter how much I try. We’re both fixed mindset but I have developed a way to move past it thanks to my mom even if my knee jerk is to get locked in it. But her tactics simply doesn’t work for me, I cannot manage it but this, THIS seems to be a strategy I can work with!!!

]]> By: Cherish https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/kid-gives-up/#comment-5533 https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/?p=6008#comment-5533 Loved this post! I liked how you were able to turn it around. I’ll def remember this when my son starts school!

]]> By: Krista https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/kid-gives-up/#comment-5183 https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/?p=6008#comment-5183 My 7 year old daughter gets extremely frustrated if she gets something wrong or can’t do something new on her first try. Any ideas for teaching to tie shoes? I think she is going to be wearing shoes with Velcro forever.

]]> By: Alyssa https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/kid-gives-up/#comment-5172 https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/?p=6008#comment-5172 I love this so much <3

]]> By: Sampurna https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/kid-gives-up/#comment-4642 https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/?p=6008#comment-4642 Awesome post! Sounds like my kid.. totally need to try this. Thank you so much! So far hugs have helped diffuse the tension but we definitely needed a new game plan and this sounds so right :)

]]> By: Leah https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/kid-gives-up/#comment-4507 https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/?p=6008#comment-4507 Learning to enjoy the process of learning was something that I did not understand until I was out of University and into my first job! I will definitely try this with our daughter! Thank you for the concrete example of what you might say to encourage this. I also love that you asked her what she wants. I’m sure it will surprise us all if we ask our kids that.

]]> By: Art https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/kid-gives-up/#comment-4495 https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/?p=6008#comment-4495 Brilliant reframe!

]]> By: Anu Budde https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/kid-gives-up/#comment-4491 https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/?p=6008#comment-4491 This is my 5 year old as well. I have been doing this after i read an article asking to explain to kids that little lights get switched on when you’re learning a new thing. this visual helped him be kinder to himself/ This is a great add-on to tat!

]]> By: Kristi https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/kid-gives-up/#comment-4490 https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/?p=6008#comment-4490 I saw this posted on Facebook and had to read it; my daughter is very easily frustrated. This is such great advice. Thank you!

]]> By: Doing Good Together™ https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/kid-gives-up/#comment-3421 https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/?p=6008#comment-3421 Brilliant idea! In fact, we addressed the idea of “Embracing Failure” in our September 2016 newsletter. Thank you for offering this useful tip.

]]> By: Mallory https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/kid-gives-up/#comment-1993 https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/?p=6008#comment-1993 This made me tear up a little! I have a perfectionist 6yr old myself, and I hate seeing him be so hard on himself when he makes mistakes. I’m also a future teacher, so thank you for an awesome idea not only for my kiddo, but for my future students as well! Love it! =D

]]> By: Emma Craig https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/kid-gives-up/#comment-1770 https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/?p=6008#comment-1770 I was the same way as a kid. I love how you’re supporting her – and teaching her mistakes are not only fine, but necessary!

]]> By: Samantha James https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/kid-gives-up/#comment-1565 https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/?p=6008#comment-1565 The found your blog when trying to find resources to help a very competitive, sore loser.

I love this technique, I love that it celebrates learning, and it reinforces that making a mistake means you learn. I can’t wait to agree what we will do for a right answer!

I find your blog very reassuring and inspiring, Thanks

]]> By: Lori Baddeley https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/kid-gives-up/#comment-1482 https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/?p=6008#comment-1482 I can not wait to try this with my son. He’s in Kindergarten and tends to get very frustrated and give up quite easily. Thanks so much for sharing.

]]> By: Suzanne Schlechte https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/kid-gives-up/#comment-1470 https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/?p=6008#comment-1470 I loved every word of this! It’s so hard to see kids give up trying and your idea worked brilliantly!

]]> By: Emma Craig https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/kid-gives-up/#comment-1191 https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/?p=6008#comment-1191 I am *so* keeping this one in mind! What a lucky kid to have a mom who knows that there’s value in the trying too!

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