Its one woman’s perspective, and its not necessarily the only perspective. I identify with what she wrote. But I also feel less worried about outer beauty as I age, because as we all know, thats not true worth, nor even true beauty. Many women having seen what their bodies can do in growing and nurturing a child (or even just the nurturing part, for those who adopt, that takes sheer physical dedication too) feel a love for their bodies that they did not before. Its a process, a journey, and like pregnancy and birth itself, it stretches us and challenges us and asks us to surrender to something bigger than we can control… but that surrender brings us peace in the midst of it all. Our bodies bear battle scars, for we are warrior women (wahine toa, in the language of the land of my home), and they hurt to get in the process of motherhood, of womanhood, but in the end, when we are old and look back on our lives, we would not be without them. Sacrifice is a part of parenthood. But its not all negative, and not all pain. It can remove from us the burdens of our cultures and falsehoods and superficial trivial things to help us find what is really valuable, what is really beautiful. We can feel beautiful in any shape or size or colour or age… it does take letting go and widening our horizons (like looking outside modern, western fashion, for a start!)to do this journey. But a family, children is truly the only lasting treasure, its worth it.

Everyone’s feelings are valid! (Coming from a woman with no children!)

We all have struggles whether it be we can’t have kids or don’t like our bodies or suffer with postnatal depression.. noone knows what someone else is feeling so stop comparing totally!!!

Seriously I don’t not get it. Why there is so many minuses under this comment? What I think Autumn means that instead of being super sad about our new bodies, and new feelings, we must see good things – kids, opportunity to make them good people. Nothing is wrong about that.

I am SO sorry ?, this is happening to me too, and was my worst nightmare

Mine is leaving me now after 12 months since giving birth. I’m not losing weight fast enough for him and I don’t put my makeup on enough apparently. He’s not attracted to me anymore. He says that going to the gym 1-2 times a week is not “trying my hardest.” I gained 30 lbs but only lost about 6.

Anyway, it’s SO hard, and I relate to ALL the things you said about this inner dialogue we have with ourselves! It’s so hard to accept how slow this process is now :( Before baby, I could lose 5lbs like nothing!

I have to agree that would be great if I could do that I have pretty much had to make the clothes I already had work throughout my pregnancies and still make them work after my pregnancies because I couldn’t afford to go get different clothes it’s been very hard because I’ve been different sizes but my clothes size never changes it’s really discouraging