Comments on: The Magic Phrase to Stop Kids From Asking Why 70 Million Times a Day

By: Ross

Ross

Reduced me to tears too, that last bit. And Daddy becoming Dad….

By: Summer

Summer

I think this is great advice IF the “why” is a genuine question rather than an attempt to circumvent parental authority. Honest to goodness, sometimes “because I said so” is a perfectly legitimate reason! Because God has made me your boss, because He loves you and put someone in charge of you to protect and guide you. My children need to learn to say, “yes ma’am” when given a command. If they truly do not understand why mom is asking them to do something, we can talk about it later. But for their safety and the peace of our home, I don’t need to answer every “why.”

By: Renee

Renee

In reply to Liberty1976.

Yes! This is what I’m dealing with. And then asking them ‘why do you think?’ And the response is “I don’t know…” also in a whine.

By: katie

katie

When my grandson asks a why question that I know he already knows the answer to, I usually say “I don’t know.” One day his response was, “Grandma, you don’t know anything.”

By: RO-ANTHA PILLAY

RO-ANTHA PILLAY

Hi there. So iv tried this with my now 4 year old… His response to that is “you tell me why” or “no you say it”

By: Casey

Casey

Thank you for sharing! And I enjoy your writing style and humor. It made for a fun read and I look forward to trying out some of your tips!

By: Shana

Shana

I’ve started don’t this for only three days now. This morning i woke up to bread all over the counter and in early morning exhaustion i just looked at my son and said why did you make such a mess with the bread? And so his little 4 year old answer to his adult mom was, Can you tell me why??
Just a great morning it’s been.

By: Crystal

Crystal

I wish I could do this with my son. He is so smart. However, he has childhood apraxia of speech and while he has so much to say, he just can’t communicate it. He can say the word why though (which I am very thankful for) and I wish I could use this approach.

By: Roxana

Roxana

I tried that “you tell me why” a couple of times and it worked for those two instances but then she will reply to me, “no, mom, you tell me why, tell me mom why?” It drove me crazy so i gave up. I noticed sometimes she asks why but in reality she doesnt know how to elaborate the question. Like when she asks “why is it your birthday today?” I figure shes excited about it so she wants to know why we celebrate birthdays once a year and not every day. Sometimes she gets obsessed with a topic and just keeps asking the same question again and again even though we already gave her the answer. Its annoying. The other day she was having a conversation with another girl and she kept asking her how old she was. The girl and I reminded her she had already asked that question. She got a little upset and when the girl asked her something she had alrrady asked, my daughter answer was “i already told you, dont ask again.” But i think i noticed somethimg. The girl had a slighty older sister and they were dressed the same way. I thought my daughter migjt have been wondering if she was talking to the same person. It happened when she met my twin cousins. She would ask over and over, “whats your name?” Even when she already could tell them apart. She asks a lot and it drives me crazy but i think if i ignore her i could be sending a negative message. I even took her to a develoental specialist and she reassured me my daughter is fine… I think shes anxious just like me

By: Fred

Fred

When my kids ask why, I usually answer patiently for a while. Then, I respond with let’s discuss it later just follow my instruction and we’ll get back to why. Then, when I’m feeling more patient, I bring it back up and we discuss it. That’s important for me is I MUST always follow up. Children ask a lot of questions because they trust that we as parents have the answers. That is in my mind a high honor.

By: Cami

Cami

In reply to Lisa Bittner. Your answer to why the sky is blue really got me thinking. I never heard that answer before. I was always told that red, orange, and yellow wavelengths are longer and get obsorbed by the atmosphere, whereas blue wavelengths are shorter and get scattered around and picked up by our eyes. Same with water - it’s clear and transparent in a glass, but when you get enough of it, it behaves like air and reflects blue light back at us. Now I’m having an internal “why” crisis. Why is the sky really blue!? ?

By: Caroline

Caroline

I loved this article! As a mommy of twin 4 yr olds and a 6 yr old. I get asked why a lot! I will definitely be trying this. Especially since it’s spring break for 2 weeks!!

By: Maddie

Maddie

In reply to BrambleTree. I think it's when they're asking questions to be annoying rather than genuine curiosity.

By: Fariha

Fariha

I will definitely give it a try but not really sure about the output because I have already tried it several time but she starts yelling if I ask her that magic phrase ..but maybe I wasn’t having the right tone.

By: Rebecca

Rebecca

Great article. I remember the ‘why’ phase too when my daughter was a toddler. Now she’s older and is an incurable chatterbox!

I also discovered that turning the question around and asking them to answer ‘why’ sometimes made all the difference.

By: Dawn

Dawn

In reply to BrambleTree.

my “babies” are 27 & 28……they still ask “why” it equips them for life….but I think I will use this tool next time first

By: Dawn

Dawn

Brilliant! Wish i had this tool some 25 years ago when my 2 were small……I do miss those why years now, they pass by in the blink of an eye!

By: Adina

Adina

Hi! My issue is with my daughter repeating the question every day, sometimes the second she heard the answer. However, I also tried to tell “you tell me why” and her usual answer is “i don’t know” and there we are, and a new “why” questions comes up. My worry is that my daughter doesn’t seem interested in conversation, just interrogation, she is almost 4.5 years old. Any suggestions?

By: Lisa Bittner

Lisa Bittner

With my kids I found, no mater the age, give the the most detailed responce. For example, “Why is the sky blue?” A favorite question of my son. The reflection of the water shown through the curvature of the earth lit up ny the sun. Now for a two year old that’s pretty deep. I found that my answers created curiosity that encouraged reaserch into more information and sometimes to check up on mommy’s anawer. My son necame quite good in reaserching his questions out via liabrary and internet. This tool helped him all through school.

By: Liberty1976

Liberty1976

It doesn’t work with my child. She replied, “I don’t know” so quick there is no way she thought about it. I can tell her why and immediately ask her to repeat bavk to me what I just said – I still get “I don’t know”. She could count to 20 and knew her ABCs in English and French before she was 2. H
She can read a little and do easy math in her head now at 3.5. She can recall teeny, insignificant details from months or years ago, but she can’t tell me what I said 5 seconds ago. I’m still at a loss.