{"id":31588,"date":"2018-07-22T04:14:07","date_gmt":"2018-07-22T04:14:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wonderoak.com\/?p=31588"},"modified":"2022-05-11T03:19:31","modified_gmt":"2022-05-11T03:19:31","slug":"dear-kids-i-wish-you-knew","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wonderoak.com\/2018\/07\/22\/dear-kids-i-wish-you-knew\/","title":{"rendered":"Dear Kids, Sorry I was a jerk…"},"content":{"rendered":"

Dear Kids, I’m sorry I was a jerk.<\/p>\n

I wish you knew that sometimes when the house is dark and quiet, I come in and watch you breathe for a minute. I wonder there in the stillness if you know how much I love you. I think about the things I could have said differently, and I wonder if you let my mistakes roll off of you or if they stuck.\u00a0 I hope and pray there in the stillness that you would know how deeply and widely I love you.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

You saw me at my best today, and you saw me at my worst. We cuddled on the couch this morning and your bed head was pressed into my chest. I smelled your hair and whispered I love you<\/em>. I also lectured you about LISTENING and NOT INTERRUPTING, and was way grumpier than I needed to be. Later, I laid on your bed and apologized for being a jerk.<\/p>\n

You’ve seen me in all my colors and I have no facades with you. I am just one mess of a Mama that apologizes often and loves you with every fiber of my being.<\/p>\n

I want you to know…<\/p>\n

I don’t really know what I’m doing<\/em>. I wish I did, but I don’t. I do my best and I trust my gut, but sometimes I make mistakes. Sometimes I say things that shouldn’t be said. Please keep telling me when I hurt you and I will make it right. We are learning and growing together.<\/p>\n

Sometimes I can’t find the words<\/em> to let you know how I feel about you. I want to, but I can’t.<\/p>\n

Though sometimes I am overwhelmed and stressed<\/em> I wish I could push pause and keep these days forever and ever.<\/p>\n

I am proud of you.<\/em> I tell you that, but I know you don’t fully understand what that means yet. I’m proud of you in a way that doesn’t depend on your successes or failures. I’m proud of who<\/em> you are and I will always be your greatest fan…no matter what.<\/p>\n

I hope my imperfection gives you permission to be imperfect too.<\/em> I hope you always let me see your flaws and your mistakes because you know I’m safe. I hope you never hesitate to tell me when you’ve screwed up, because this imperfect mama will love you no matter what.<\/p>\n

My love will wrap itself around you whether you want it or not<\/em>. There’s nothing you could ever do that would make it stop. Not ever.<\/p>\n

I am yours.<\/p>\n

We’re in this together for the long haul my loves, and there’s nowhere I’d rather be than here.<\/p>\n

I love you.<\/p>\n

Love,<\/p>\n

Mama<\/p>\n

For more like this you can follow me here, Facebook<\/a>, and Instagram<\/a>.<\/p>\n

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Dear Kids, I’m sorry I was a jerk. I wish you knew that sometimes when the house is dark and quiet, I come in and watch you breathe for a minute. I wonder there in the stillness if you know how much I love you. I think about the things I could have said differently, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":31753,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":true,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-31588","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/wonderoak.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/IMG_0672-1445978351-1538014683980-e1652239158562.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6wz1w-8du","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wonderoak.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31588","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wonderoak.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wonderoak.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wonderoak.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wonderoak.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=31588"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"https:\/\/wonderoak.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31588\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":33553,"href":"https:\/\/wonderoak.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31588\/revisions\/33553"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wonderoak.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/31753"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wonderoak.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=31588"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wonderoak.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=31588"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wonderoak.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=31588"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}