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<\/p>\nTo my teenagers,<\/p>\n
Be patient with me as I learn to let you go.<\/p>\n
I know it’s time. I know you’re growing and becoming and that sometimes it’s uncomfortable. Be patient with me because it’s not just you who is adjusting, my love. It’s me too.<\/p>\n
I know it’s hard to understand, but hear me out.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I dreamed about you before you were a whisper or a reality. I dreamed of you when you were so tiny in my belly no one could see you, but me. I dreamed of you when I was bent over a toilet until there was nothing left. I dreamed of you while I laid on the couch telling Dad that yes, I was sure I needed fries ASAP and another episode of Lost. I dreamed of you and I treasured you as my belly made my pants tight and uncomfortable, as my legs swelled, and as my cheeks grew full and my dimples deeper. I dreamed of you on the sleepless nights holding my belly and counting contractions like the midwives told me I should. I dreamed of you as I gave my body over to something that was completely beyond my control.<\/p>\n
I’d never felt such purpose and anticipation, my love.<\/p>\n
I dreamed of you when the contractions radiated through my body and I knew this was it. I dreamed of you as I labored through a pain I didn’t know existed. In my heart I knew you were worth every breath, every pain, every push. I knew, because I was the one who carried you. I carried you in my womb, in my heart, and in my soul.<\/p>\n
You were my dream before the world even knew you existed.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I dreamed of you as the hospital room became a war zone and I fought with all my strength for your entrance into the world.<\/p>\n
And then you were on my chest, there you were, my dream; my reason, my heart. You were all my purpose in one tiny body, pressed against my soul. Every second was worth it, every single second.<\/p>\n
I never wanted to feel that pain again, but I also knew I’d do it a thousand times just to hold you in my arms. A mother’s love is unexplainable; it’s unreasonable; it’s undone. A mother’s love completely belongs to her children. There are no corridors of her heart that are off limits.<\/p>\n
Every door is wide open for you; I am all yours.<\/p>\n
And then you grew.<\/p>\n
Every day I doubted myself. I struggled to become the woman who I felt you deserved. I wanted to give you the world, but my actions seemed to fall short.<\/p>\n
I dreamed of your future as I spent sleepless nights with milk soaked sheets. I dreamed of you as you sat screaming at me from your timeout chair in the thick of your toddler years. I dreamed of you when I cried myself to sleep because I was sure I was doing it all wrong and I so badly wanted to get it all right. I dreamed of you when I snuggled your warm body after a bad dream. I dreamed of you when I held your hand and walked you to your first day of kindergarten. I dreamed of you as I watched you run onto the football field for the very first time.<\/p>\n
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<\/p>\n
Someday maybe you’ll see. Maybe you’ll hold your own baby on your chest for the very first time. Maybe your heart will shatter into a million pieces and be built again from scratch. A love like this is impossible to explain until you’ve had the chance to touch it.<\/p>\n
These baby, these are the days I dreamed of. I dreamed of the person you’d become; I dreamed of seeing you fly. Please be patient with me my love, as I learn to let go and let you stretch your legs and use your voice. Be patient with me as I go through yet another transition and becoming.<\/p>\n
You’re growing, and I am too.<\/p>\n
You were my dream before the world got to share you. You were my dream before your very first breath.<\/p>\n
Be patient with me as I unclench these fingers and loosen these hands that have held you. Be patient with me as I relax these arms that have carried you since the first day you breathed life. Be patient with me as I recognize that the time has come to do less protecting and holding and more listening and cheering.<\/p>\n
I dreamed of you and here you are.<\/p>\n
And still I dream.<\/p>\n
I love you more than you will ever know.<\/p>\n
Love,<\/p>\n
Mama<\/p>\n
***<\/p>\n
For more like this can follow me (Jess of Wonderoak) here, on Facebook<\/a>, and on Instagram<\/a>. Thank you for stopping by!!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" To my teenagers, Be patient with me as I learn to let you go. I know it’s time. I know you’re growing and becoming and that sometimes it’s uncomfortable. Be patient with me because it’s not just you who is adjusting, my love. It’s me too. I know it’s hard to understand, but hear me out.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":31809,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":true,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1600371],"tags":[15967,4089,5309,217161883],"class_list":["post-31806","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-letters-to-my-kids","tag-mom","tag-motherhood","tag-parenting","tag-teenagers"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/wonderoak.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/FullSizeRender-3-1438356638-1540345642751.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p6wz1w-8h0","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wonderoak.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31806","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wonderoak.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wonderoak.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wonderoak.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wonderoak.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=31806"}],"version-history":[{"count":17,"href":"https:\/\/wonderoak.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31806\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":32005,"href":"https:\/\/wonderoak.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31806\/revisions\/32005"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wonderoak.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/31809"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wonderoak.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=31806"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wonderoak.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=31806"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wonderoak.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=31806"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}