{"id":3314,"date":"2013-09-12T07:00:06","date_gmt":"2013-09-12T12:00:06","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/?p=3314"},"modified":"2024-02-27T12:11:13","modified_gmt":"2024-02-27T18:11:13","slug":"connect-with-your-partner","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/connect-with-your-partner\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Connect With Your Partner: 7 Sweet + Simple Tricks for When You&#8217;re Busy or Tired"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"meta-desc\">Inside: Here are the best science-backed hacks for how to connect with your partner even when you&rsquo;re tired and busy. The best part? They take 7 minutes or less.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As parents, my husband and I spend our days taking turns dealing with the emotional tempests of a toddler, coaching the bigger kids to resolve their latest kerfuffle, and executing on a bedtime &ldquo;routine&rdquo; that involves the kids getting out of bed 72 billion times every night.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Not to mention the <strong>never-ending<\/strong> cycle of figuring out what to feed the kids, convincing them to sit down long enough to eat, and getting everything cleaned up before we have to start all over at the <em>next<\/em> meal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In the midst of all that, we barely have time for a single uninterrupted grown-up conversation, let alone to make sure we stay connected as a couple. So it&rsquo;s all too easy to lose sight of how lucky we are to have each other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But I know we <strong>can&rsquo;t<\/strong> let that happen. In our former lives, my husband and I have both been through divorce. We know the consequences of not making time to connect as a couple &ndash; and we&rsquo;re fierce in our resolve to <a href=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/how-to-reconnect-with-your-spouse\/\">keep our relationship strong<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"yellowbox\"><strong>Bonus:<\/strong> As a bonus for joining my weekly newsletter, <a class=\"modal-trigger\" href=\"#get-printable-magic-ratio-couple\">get a free cheat sheet<\/a> of 60 simple <meta charset=\"utf-8\">ideas for how to connect with your partner right now.<\/p>\n\n\n<style>#kt-modal20804_2bf18b-d9 .kt-blocks-modal-link{color:var(--global-palette2, #2B6CB0);border-radius:0px;font-size:16px;line-height:24px;border-width:0px 0px 0px 0px;padding:0px 0px 0px 0px;margin:0px 0px 0px 0px;}#kt-modal20804_2bf18b-d9 .kt-blocks-modal-link:hover, #kt-modal20804_2bf18b-d9 .kt-blocks-modal-link:focus{color:#f96d60;}#kt-modal20804_2bf18b-d9 .kt-modal-overlay, #kt-target-modal20804_2bf18b-d9 .kt-modal-overlay, .kb-modal-content20804_2bf18b-d9 .kt-modal-overlay{background:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.6);}#kt-modal20804_2bf18b-d9 .kt-modal-overlay, #kt-target-modal20804_2bf18b-d9 .kt-modal-overlay, .kb-modal-content20804_2bf18b-d9 .kt-modal-overlay{-ms-flex-pack:center;justify-content:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;}#kt-modal20804_2bf18b-d9 .kt-modal-container, #kt-target-modal20804_2bf18b-d9 .kt-modal-container, .kb-modal-content20804_2bf18b-d9 .kt-modal-container{width:100%;max-width:700px;-ms-flex-pack:flex-start;justify-content:flex-start;text-align:left;-ms-flex-align:flex-start;align-items:flex-start;}#kt-modal20804_2bf18b-d9 .kt-modal-container, #kt-target-modal20804_2bf18b-d9 .kt-modal-container, .kb-modal-content20804_2bf18b-d9 .kt-modal-container{padding-top:30px;padding-right:30px;padding-bottom:30px;padding-left:30px;margin-top:10px;margin-right:10px;margin-bottom:10px;margin-left:10px;}#kt-modal20804_2bf18b-d9 .kt-modal-container, #kt-target-modal20804_2bf18b-d9 .kt-modal-container, .kb-modal-content20804_2bf18b-d9 .kt-modal-container{background:var(--global-palette9, #ffffff);border-top-left-radius:3px;border-top-right-radius:3px;border-bottom-right-radius:3px;border-bottom-left-radius:3px;border-top:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-right:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-bottom:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-left:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);}#kt-modal20804_2bf18b-d9 .kt-modal-close svg, #kt-target-modal20804_2bf18b-d9 .kt-modal-close svg, .kb-modal-content20804_2bf18b-d9 .kt-modal-close svg{width:24px;height:24px;}@media all and (max-width: 1024px){#kt-modal20804_2bf18b-d9 .kt-modal-container, #kt-target-modal20804_2bf18b-d9 .kt-modal-container, .kb-modal-content20804_2bf18b-d9 .kt-modal-container{width:100%;border-top:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-right:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-bottom:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-left:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);}}@media all and (max-width: 1024px){#kt-modal20804_2bf18b-d9 .kt-modal-close svg, #kt-target-modal20804_2bf18b-d9 .kt-modal-close svg, .kb-modal-content20804_2bf18b-d9 .kt-modal-close svg{width:24px;height:24px;}}@media all and (max-width: 767px){#kt-modal20804_2bf18b-d9 .kt-modal-container, #kt-target-modal20804_2bf18b-d9 .kt-modal-container, .kb-modal-content20804_2bf18b-d9 .kt-modal-container{width:100%;border-top:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-right:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-bottom:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-left:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);}#kt-modal20804_2bf18b-d9 .kt-modal-close svg, #kt-target-modal20804_2bf18b-d9 .kt-modal-close svg, .kb-modal-content20804_2bf18b-d9 .kt-modal-close svg{width:24px;height:24px;}}<\/style>\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-modal aligncenter kt-modal-linkalign-center\" id=\"kt-modal20804_2bf18b-d9\"><\/div>\n\n\n<style>.kb-table-of-content-nav.kb-table-of-content-id3314_d672db-8b .kb-table-of-content-wrap{padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;}.kb-table-of-content-nav.kb-table-of-content-id3314_d672db-8b .kb-table-of-contents-title-wrap{padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;}.kb-table-of-content-nav.kb-table-of-content-id3314_d672db-8b .kb-table-of-contents-title{font-weight:regular;font-style:normal;text-transform:uppercase;}.kb-table-of-content-nav.kb-table-of-content-id3314_d672db-8b .kb-table-of-content-wrap .kb-table-of-content-list{font-weight:regular;font-style:normal;margin-top:var(--global-kb-spacing-sm, 1.5rem);margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;}<\/style>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-the-problem-with-date-nights\">The Problem With Date Nights<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Unfortunately, my husband and I don&rsquo;t do date nights very often. Because with no family in town, &ldquo;date night&rdquo; becomes synonymous with &ldquo;hire a babysitter,&rdquo; and that can get <strong>awfully<\/strong> expensive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>You <em>can<\/em> always do an <a href=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/date-night-ideas-for-parents\/\">at-home date night<\/a> &ndash; even if it&rsquo;s just trying out a new recipe or enjoying a movie after the kids go to bed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But honestly?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>We&rsquo;re too tired.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>After spending every day wrangling four kids and trying to keep up with the endless dishes and laundry and vacuuming, we consider it a success if we both manage to stay awake past 8:00 pm.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So how do you keep the spark alive without an official date night?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a name=\"list\"><\/a><\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"427\" src=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/connect-with-your-partner-couch.jpg\" alt=\"how to connect with your partner even when you're tired and busy\" class=\"wp-image-15164\" srcset=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/connect-with-your-partner-couch.jpg 640w, https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/connect-with-your-partner-couch-300x200.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" data-pin-media=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/connect-with-your-partner-couch.jpg\"><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"list\">How to Connect With Your Partner: 7 Ways to Rekindle the Romance in 7 Minutes or Less<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p><a name=\"tips\"><\/a>To keep our marriage strong, I decided to research the best science-backed hacks for how to connect with your partner &ndash; even when you&rsquo;re tired and busy &ndash; and I compiled it into a list to share with you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The best part? Every idea in this list will take you 7 minutes or less.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-1-give-it-6-seconds\">1. Give It 6 Seconds<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p><!--\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/remuz78\/4126836079\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/connect-hug.jpg\" alt=\"Connect With Your Partner - Hug and Kiss Every Morning and Night\" width=\"280\" height=\"188\" class=\"size-full wp-image-3378\" srcset=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/connect-hug.jpg 280w, https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/connect-hug-200x134.jpg 200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 280px) 100vw, 280px\" \/><\/a>\n<span class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo by <a href=\"http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/remuz78\/4126836079\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Matteo Parrini<\/a><\/span><\/div>\n\n\n-->I&rsquo;ve heard this advice from several happy couples, and it works for me and Ty too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Hug and kiss every morning and every night. But make sure they&rsquo;re <em>long<\/em> ones, especially the hug.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>According to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/0062888749\/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=hyhf-connect-partner-20&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;creativeASIN=0062888749&amp;linkId=3be0625ad993ef252e86730ce376958f\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow noreferrer\">The Happiness Project<\/a><sup>&dagger;<\/sup>, you should hold a hug for at least <strong>six seconds<\/strong> to get the happy chemicals oxytocin and serotonin flowing. They&rsquo;re good stuff because they boost your mood and promote bonding. Ever since we tried this <a title=\"Why You&rsquo;re Hugging All Wrong &ndash; And How to Fix It\" href=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/couple-hugging\/\">hugging<\/a> technique, I now fully support to the six-second advice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"meta-desc\"><sup>&dagger;<\/sup> This site is reader-supported. When you buy through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When you get caught up in the day-to-day routine, it&rsquo;s too easy to make it through a whole day (or more) without sharing that simple physical affection that keeps partners <a title=\"Be Happier: Kiss More, Hug More, Touch More\" href=\"http:\/\/www.happiness-project.com\/happiness_project\/2009\/05\/be-happier-kiss-more-hug-more-touch-more\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">feeling close<\/a>. Don&rsquo;t skimp on this one.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"427\" data-pin-id=\"128000814395099897\" data-pin-description=\"Most couple conversation starters are boring, but here are the BEST relationship conversation starters according to experts who study successful + happy relationships. If you're in a relationship rut, get these fun questions for couples to reconnect with your husband or wife. From flirty to meaningful questions, these conversation topics for couples will make you feel closer than ever. #couplegoals #couples #marriageadvice #marriedlife #marriagetips #conversation #conversationstarters \" src=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/conversation-starters-for-couples-smile.jpg\" alt=\"The problem? Most conversation topics for couples are boring and cheesy\" class=\"wp-image-14127\" srcset=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/conversation-starters-for-couples-smile.jpg 640w, https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/conversation-starters-for-couples-smile-300x200.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" data-pin-media=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/conversation-starters-for-couples-smile.jpg\"><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-2-get-visual\">2. Get Visual<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>If you&rsquo;re feeling disconnected from your partner, look back through your photos on your phone to remind yourself of your <strong>favorite memories<\/strong> of being together &ndash; trips, holiday celebrations, those four hundred pictures you took the day you closed on your first house.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>These are times when you felt most connected, and reliving those memories can help you rekindle that spark.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>After you find a photo that makes you smile, text it to your partner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-3-ask-the-right-question\">3. Ask the Right Question<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Research shows that couples who have <a href=\"https:\/\/www.gottman.com\/blog\/one-conversation-new-parents-need-stay-connected\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">engaging conversations every day<\/a> &ndash; <em>real<\/em> uninterrupted grown-up conversations &ndash; are better able to handle the stress of parenting life and stay connected.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But when you&rsquo;re tired, it&rsquo;s hard to come up with ideas for what to talk about aside from what you need at the grocery store and who&rsquo;s due for their annual well-check.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So I set out on a quest to find out which conversation topics for couples will make you feel closer, according to the latest research on happy relationships that stand the test of time. And over the course of several months, I compiled a collection of the <a href=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/conversation-starters-couples\">150 best conversation starters for couples<\/a>. Not according to me, some random mom. But according to the <em>experts<\/em> who study successful and happy relationships.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>My husband and I have been using <a href=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/conversation-starters-couples\">these questions<\/a> for couples throughout the last couple years, ever since our youngest was born. Anytime we want to connect quickly, we&rsquo;ll grab a question and ask it. <strong>Instant<\/strong> connection, every time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The questions force us to slow down, look each other in the eye, and really <em>listen<\/em> to each other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sure, sometimes we have to kick the kids outside or sneak away to the bedroom for a few minutes just to have a chance of being able to hear each other&rsquo;s answers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But that&rsquo;s a small price to pay for keeping our relationship healthy and strong.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/conversation-starters-couples\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"427\" data-pin-id=\"128000814395099897\" data-pin-description=\"Most couple conversation starters are boring, but here are the BEST relationship conversation starters according to experts who study successful + happy relationships. If you're in a relationship rut, get these fun questions for couples to reconnect with your husband or wife. From flirty to meaningful questions, these conversation topics for couples will make you feel closer than ever. #couplegoals #couples #marriageadvice #marriedlife #marriagetips #conversation #conversationstarters \" src=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/conversation-starters-for-couples-cards-coffee.jpg\" alt=\"Download these questions for couples to reconnect quickly\" class=\"wp-image-14129\" srcset=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/conversation-starters-for-couples-cards-coffee.jpg 640w, https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/conversation-starters-for-couples-cards-coffee-300x200.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" data-pin-media=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/02\/conversation-starters-for-couples-cards-coffee.jpg\"><\/a><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">When you need a quick idea for how to connect with your partner, grab one of these <a href=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/conversation-starters-couples\">couple conversation starters<\/a>.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-4-check-it-at-the-door\">4. Check It At the Door<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>When I&rsquo;m driving home after an appointment, my mind wanders back through my day and tends to get stuck on the things that didn&rsquo;t go so well.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So when I walk in the door and see Ty, it feels natural to transition straight from a quick greeting to venting about my day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But this doesn&rsquo;t make for a good start to your evening together. From the book <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/1595620400\/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=hyhf-connect-partner-20&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;creativeASIN=1595620400&amp;linkId=a27c92c710a1bfc7c3188976d3029086\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow noreferrer\">Wellbeing<\/a>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>Emotions spread quickly from one person to the next. When you see a friend who is happy, this often causes you to smile, and as a result, you feel better. Or if you have a frustrating meeting late in the day, your emotional state is likely to <strong>transfer to your spouse<\/strong> when you get home. Because we tend to synchronize our moods with the people around us, our emotions influence one another throughout the day.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Before<\/strong> you walk in the door at the end of the day (or before your partner walks in the door), take five minutes to think about something good that happened to you. If nothing good happened to you, think of something you love about your partner so that&rsquo;s on your mind when you see them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Then <strong>after<\/strong> you get the evening off to a good start with a positive perspective for both of you, you can circle back and vent about the not-so-great stuff.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"390\" src=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/connect-with-your-partner-note.jpg\" alt=\"How to Connect With Your Partner - Do It With Words\" class=\"wp-image-15166\" srcset=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/connect-with-your-partner-note.jpg 640w, https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/connect-with-your-partner-note-300x183.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" data-pin-media=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/connect-with-your-partner-note.jpg\"><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Photo by <a href=\"http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/jessicagarro\/4253509891\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Jessica Garro<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<!--\n<h3>5. Pretend for 7 Minutes<\/h3>\n<div class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/adwriter\/257937032\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/connect-hammock.jpg\" alt=\"Connect With Your Partner - Be a Neutral Third Party\" width=\"280\" height=\"224\" class=\"size-full wp-image-3381\" srcset=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/connect-hammock.jpg 280w, https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/connect-hammock-200x160.jpg 200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 280px) 100vw, 280px\" \/><\/a>\n<span class=\"wp-caption-text\">Photo by <a href=\"http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/adwriter\/257937032\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Patrick<\/a><\/span><\/div>\nNo relationship is perfect. You're going to disagree on occasion. Or maybe a lot.\n\nBut it turns out there's a simple (and quick) trick for making sure you recover from those disagreements with your connection intact &#8211; if not stronger. If you do this at least three times a year, you'll <a href=\"http:\/\/www.sciencedaily.com\/releases\/2013\/02\/130205123702.htm\" title=\"Twenty-One Minutes to Marital Satisfaction: Minimal Intervention Can Preserve Marital Quality Over Time\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">protect your relationship<\/a> from the typical decline in satisfaction that occurs over time.\n\nHere's what you do: think back to your <strong>most recent disagreement<\/strong> with your partner. Now think about it from the perspective of a neutral third party who wants the best for all involved. Write about the disagreement from that perspective for seven minutes. That's it! -->\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-5-do-it-with-words\">5. Do It With Words<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Ty and I text each other <strong>constantly<\/strong> about how our day is going &ndash; <em>How was your meeting this morning? What time are you heading home? Would it be bad to have pizza for dinner 5 nights in a row?<\/em> But sometimes he&rsquo;ll surprise me with a special message out of the blue. He tells me he misses me or that he can&rsquo;t wait to see me, or just sends a simple &ldquo;I love you.&rdquo;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>One day back when I had a corporate desk job, my cube neighbor and I were walking to a meeting when she got a text from her husband thanking her for everything she does for their family. Even though it was YEARS ago, I still remember the look on her face &ndash; an <strong>infectious<\/strong> mixture of surprise, joy, validation, and love. That text totally made her day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Research shows that in strong, loving relationships that stand the test of time, the partners <a title=\"Want Lasting Love? Say These Words to Your Honey\" href=\"http:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/blog\/prescriptions-life\/201210\/want-lasting-love-say-these-words-your-honey\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">share more positive statements<\/a> than critical ones. In fact, you need a ratio of at least <strong>five positive comments<\/strong> to every critical one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If texts aren&rsquo;t your thing, here are a few other ideas for sharing <a title=\"Does Gratitude Matter in Marriage?\" href=\"http:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/blog\/resolution-not-conflict\/201207\/does-gratitude-matter-in-marriage\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">what you appreciate<\/a> about your partner:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Send a funny <a title=\"someecards\" href=\"http:\/\/www.someecards.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">e-card<\/a>.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Stick a <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/B07YNHMVRT\/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=hyhf-connect-partner-20&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;creativeASIN=B07YNHMVRT&amp;linkId=78fac6ad9540acb97f048d4dc6710d15\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow noreferrer\">colorful Post-It Note<\/a> somewhere they&rsquo;re sure to see it, like on their nightstand, on their pillow, in their underwear drawer, next to their toothbrush, and so on.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Write a message on the bathroom mirror with <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/B001FQKPSU\/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=hyhf-connect-partner-20&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;creativeASIN=B001FQKPSU&amp;linkId=32a0c61b46a738c67767b30fea4af867\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow noreferrer\">washable window markers<\/a>.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Write a letter, then leave it in their work bag or car to find later.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Fill out a postcard and mail it to them.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-6-get-some-new-material\">6. Get Some New Material<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>Research by psychologist John Gottman has shown that <a href=\"https:\/\/www.gottman.com\/blog\/h-is-for-humor\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">sharing humor with your partner<\/a> is one of the best ways you can strengthen your relationship.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Learn a new joke, find a funny news story online, or make a mental note to share something from your day that made you laugh. If you&rsquo;re short on time for looking around, do what I do: check a funny person&rsquo;s Twitter account for good one-liners. My faves:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Abby Heugel <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/AbbyHasIssues\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">@AbbyHasIssues<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>James Breakwell <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/XplodingUnicorn\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">@XplodingUnicorn<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Ramblin Mama <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/ramblinma\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">@ramblinma<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Simon Holland <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/simoncholland\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">@simoncholland<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Stephen Colbert <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/StephenAtHome\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">@StephenAtHome<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"427\" src=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/connect-with-your-partner-bed.jpg\" alt=\"Connect with your partner at bedtime\" class=\"wp-image-15167\" srcset=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/connect-with-your-partner-bed.jpg 640w, https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/connect-with-your-partner-bed-300x200.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" data-pin-media=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/connect-with-your-partner-bed.jpg\"><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<h3 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-7-shhh\">7. Shhh<\/h3>\n\n\n\n<p>We&rsquo;ve made a promise to each other. We always try to go to bed at the same time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sometimes it&rsquo;s hard to drag myself away from a marathon binge of <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/B00ESB6EUC\/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=hyhf-connect-partner-20&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;creativeASIN=B00ESB6EUC&amp;linkId=4ebe05ff1f7819a3f14e5e157a448ef6\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener nofollow noreferrer\">Brooklyn Nine Nine<\/a> reruns, but I&rsquo;m always glad after I do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Because when you turn off the lights and climb into bed next to each other, <strong>magic<\/strong> happens.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>With no distractions, your body and mind start to unwind from the day. You&rsquo;ll remember something cute one of the kids said earlier in the day, whisper your hopes for tomorrow, fantasize about your next vacation. Or maybe you&rsquo;ll both just take a deep breath and pass out from sheer exhaustion.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>(By the way, if you thought I was talking about a <em>different<\/em> kind of &ldquo;magic,&rdquo; try <a title=\"12 Thirty-Second Ways to Connect With Your Spouse - #5\" href=\"http:\/\/www.psychologytoday.com\/blog\/finding-cloud9\/201306\/12-thirty-second-ways-connect-your-spouse\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">going to bed naked<\/a>. Ahem.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Related: <a href=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/date-night-ideas-for-parents\/\">The Best 100 Date Night Ideas for Parents&mdash;Even When You&rsquo;re Exhausted<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-get-your-free-cheat-sheet\">Get Your Free Cheat Sheet<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>When you need ideas for how to connect with your partner even when you&rsquo;re busy and tired, use this cheat sheet of 60 simple ways to reconnect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Get the free cheat sheet<\/strong>. Join my weekly-ish newsletter and as a bonus, you&rsquo;ll get the printable! Just <a class=\"modal-trigger\" href=\"#get-printable-magic-ratio-couple\">click here to get it and subscribe<\/a>.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Print<\/strong>. Any paper will do the trick, but <a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/B07D4YF3K4\/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=hyhf-connect-partner-20&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;creativeASIN=B07D4YF3K4&amp;linkId=777a4b7f29622a71cbfe2fe70432b65e\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">card stock<\/a> would be ideal.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Tuck your cheat sheet<\/strong> somewhere handy like your purse or wallet. Or if your spouse is in on it, hang it on your fridge. Then when you need an idea for connecting, pick a random idea and do it.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p>Here&rsquo;s a sneak peek of your printable cheat sheet:<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter\"><a class=\"modal-trigger\" href=\"#get-printable-magic-ratio-couple\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"420\" data-pin-id=\"128000814389609906\" data-pin-description=\"In the chaos of parenting life, it's easy to feel disconnected from your spouse. But if you follow the Magic 5:1 Ratio, you'll make your marriage last plus feel closer than ever to your partner. Get this FREE cheat sheet of simple ways you can reconnect with your husband or wife like MAGIC...right now.\" src=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/how-to-reconnect-with-your-spouse-preview-med.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-10985\" srcset=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/how-to-reconnect-with-your-spouse-preview-med.png 640w, https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/how-to-reconnect-with-your-spouse-preview-med-300x197.png 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" data-pin-media=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/03\/how-to-reconnect-with-your-spouse-preview-med.png\"><\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<h6 class=\"wp-block-heading after-entry-cta\" id=\"h-download-now-150-conversation-starters-for-couples-that-will-make-you-feel-closer-than-ever\">Download now: <a href=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/conversation-starters-couples\">150 Conversation Starters for Couples That Will Make You Feel Closer Than Ever<\/a><\/h6>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-your-turn\">Your Turn<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>What&rsquo;s your best advice for how to connect with your partner, even when you&rsquo;re busy and tired? Share your tip in a comment below!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Inside: Here are the best science-backed hacks for how to connect with your partner even when you&rsquo;re tired and busy. The best part? They take 7 minutes or less. As parents, my husband and I spend our days taking turns dealing with the emotional tempests of a toddler, coaching the bigger kids to resolve their&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":6249,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3314","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.0 (Yoast SEO v25.0) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How to Connect With Your Partner: 7 Quick Hacks for Tired Parents<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Here are the best science-backed hacks for how to connect with your partner even when you&#039;re tired and busy. 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