{"id":3506,"date":"2013-09-26T20:00:11","date_gmt":"2013-09-27T01:00:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/?p=3506"},"modified":"2024-01-14T08:34:07","modified_gmt":"2024-01-14T14:34:07","slug":"every-other-week-breaks-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/every-other-week-breaks-me\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Stay Connected to Your Child When You Share Custody"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"meta-desc\">Inside: Here&rsquo;s a story from one parent about how shared custody really works. How do you cope when you don&rsquo;t see your child for a week or more at a time?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I have shared custody of my 5-year-old girl. This means she&rsquo;s with us every other week &ndash; and with her dad and stepmom on the off weeks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I miss her terribly on those weeks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Before my youngest was born, I had the thought &ndash; though it&rsquo;s completely illogical &ndash; that she might make it hurt a little less. Not that a baby could fill that big-kid-shaped hole in any way whatsoever, just that I would be so busy I wouldn&rsquo;t have time to miss her as much.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But my oldest ruined that possibility by doing something <strong>totally annoying<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She went and became the best big sister a little baby could hope for.<\/p>\n\n\n<style>.kb-table-of-content-nav.kb-table-of-content-id3506_df06b5-43 .kb-table-of-content-wrap{padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;}.kb-table-of-content-nav.kb-table-of-content-id3506_df06b5-43 .kb-table-of-contents-title-wrap{padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;}.kb-table-of-content-nav.kb-table-of-content-id3506_df06b5-43 .kb-table-of-contents-title{font-weight:regular;font-style:normal;text-transform:uppercase;}.kb-table-of-content-nav.kb-table-of-content-id3506_df06b5-43 .kb-table-of-content-wrap .kb-table-of-content-list{font-weight:regular;font-style:normal;margin-top:var(--global-kb-spacing-sm, 1.5rem);margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;}<\/style>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-when-a-5-year-old-teaches-you-something\">When a 5-Year-Old Teaches You Something<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Every time the baby needs a diaper change, her big sister is right by our side, getting the new diaper ready and finding where the diaper cream rolled under the bed and getting out a new package of wipes because it turned out to be a 20-wipe job.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When the baby spits up and needs a fresh onesie, my big kid runs into the bedroom and brings us one before we even have the old one off.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In the morning when we&rsquo;re all running around the house <strong>like crazy<\/strong> trying to get out the door by 7:00 am for the kindergarten schedule that&rsquo;s KILLING US SLOWLY and we put the baby on the floor for tummy time but she&rsquo;s letting us know she&rsquo;s not actually in the mood for that, her sister grabs <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/0811826023\/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;creativeASIN=0811826023&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=idealmom-20\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Peek-a-Who<\/a><sup>&dagger;<\/sup> and <a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/0399230033\/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;creativeASIN=0399230033&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=idealmom-20\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Good Night Gorilla<\/a> off the shelf and lays next to her baby sister on the floor. And she reads to her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"meta-desc\"><sup>&dagger;<\/sup> This site is reader-supported. When you buy through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Seeing that makes me stop.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Slow down.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Realize that in my rush to pack my pump parts and put the ice pack in my daughter&rsquo;s lunch and &ndash; <em>oh no<\/em>, have I brushed my teeth yet?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I&rsquo;m missing it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">And Then She&rsquo;s Gone<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>When we get home from work every other Monday night, it&rsquo;s the first night without our big kid after a week of being together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It&rsquo;s so quiet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>At first, we breathe that sigh of relief that you get when you head out to <a title=\"7 Quick Ways to Connect With Your Partner\" href=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/2013\/09\/connect-with-your-partner\/\">date night<\/a> and you realize you&rsquo;re FREE and no one&rsquo;s hanging onto you or spilling cereal all over the floor or asking you to explain the American justice system when it&rsquo;s already past their bedtime.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But the next breath? Hurts.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The baby needs a diaper change, so I head into the bedroom and lay her down on the changing pad. But no clean diaper magically appears by my side, opened and ready to go.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A little later, she spits up all over herself and me and the cat, and I just sit there <strong>staring<\/strong> at the congealed milk for a few seconds until it hits me that my super helpful girl isn&rsquo;t coming to my rescue this time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It&rsquo;s not just that I miss having the help, though that is awfully nice. What I miss is having another partner in raising our baby girl. I miss seeing my oldest lay this sweet foundation of being gentle and thoughtful with her sister.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"250\" height=\"377\" src=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/lunch-monkey.jpg\" alt=\"How Shared Custody Every Other Week Almost Breaks Me\" class=\"wp-image-3523\" srcset=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/lunch-monkey.jpg 250w, https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/lunch-monkey-199x300.jpg 199w, https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/lunch-monkey-194x292.jpg 194w, https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/lunch-monkey-132x200.jpg 132w, https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/lunch-monkey-198x300.jpg 198w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 250px) 100vw, 250px\" data-pin-media=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/lunch-monkey.jpg\"><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Photo by <a href=\"http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/tambako\/3747681322\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Tambako the Jaguar<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<p>And then there&rsquo;s how fast our youngest is growing. One week, she was really into <a title=\"Video on Instagram\" href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/p\/dr0FMrHnDb\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">blowing raspberries<\/a>. Now that&rsquo;s over. This last week, she learned how to screech, and she especially likes to practice this <a title=\"Video on Instagram\" href=\"http:\/\/instagram.com\/p\/ej7AftHnD7\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">new trick around about 4:00 am<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But my big kid wasn&rsquo;t here to laugh with us at this crazy monkey sound.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It happened early in the week, and every day that went by, I got more and more nervous that the baby would lose interest in the screeching before her big sis <strong>came back to us<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If it had been a couple hours since the baby had last screeched, I was on Full Screech Alert, just waiting waiting to hear it again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To make sure I hadn&rsquo;t missed out on the chance to share it with my oldest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">A Surprise<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>On Wednesday last week, I surprised my oldest at school for lunch. We hadn&rsquo;t seen each other since Monday morning when we dropped her off at school, starting her week away from us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This was my first time to visit her for lunch since she started kindergarten, so I wasn&rsquo;t sure how it would go.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Would she be so distracted by the chaos of 110 kids eating lunch at the same time that she&rsquo;d barely notice I was there? Would she be <strong>embarrassed<\/strong> to sit with her mom for lunch when all the other kids were eating together?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Just before 11:00 am I pulled into the school parking lot and strapped the baby to me in the <a title=\"Baby K&rsquo;tan Baby Carrier - Best Baby Carrier Ever\" href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/B000UYFULU\/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;creativeASIN=B000UYFULU&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=idealmom-20\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Baby K&rsquo;Tan<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As I walked into school, I saw my child&rsquo;s class walking single-file down the hallway, on their way to the cafeteria.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She saw me and stopped in her tracks. The kids behind her in line bumped into her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I called down the hall. &ldquo;I thought I&rsquo;d join you for lunch today. Is that okay?&rdquo;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A smile spread across her face. She nodded.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>After I signed in at the front office, I headed to the cafeteria.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"270\" height=\"259\" src=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/lunch-hands.jpg\" alt=\"How Shared Custody Every Other Week Almost Breaks Me\" class=\"wp-image-3525\" srcset=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/lunch-hands.jpg 270w, https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/lunch-hands-200x191.jpg 200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 270px) 100vw, 270px\" data-pin-media=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/lunch-hands.jpg\"><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Photo by <a href=\"http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/5wa\/7528392702\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Robert Neff<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<p>I scanned the room of talking and laughing kindergarteners and didn&rsquo;t immediately see her. But she must&rsquo;ve seen me. Suddenly a smiling blonde girl was in front of me, lunch bag in hand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&ldquo;Where do we go to sit?&rdquo;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She pointed to a few tables up on the stage. A few other parents were there with their kids already.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We held hands as we walked over, and I asked: &ldquo;Was this a good surprise?&rdquo;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She looked up at me. &ldquo;Yes.&rdquo; That smile again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Something I Wasn&rsquo;t Meant to See<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>She ate her lunch while we chatted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Nothing we talked about was all that interesting or important. (She had music that morning and was headed to computer lab after lunch.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Still, our lunch fed my soul.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I saw her class stand up and start to line up against the wall. &ldquo;I think it&rsquo;s time to go,&rdquo; I said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We held hands on the walk back to the rest of her class.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She was quiet. I guess I was too.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Her classmates were lined up against the wall, so she joined them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&ldquo;Have a good weekend,&rdquo; I said. &ldquo;I&rsquo;ll see you in just a few days on Monday!&rdquo;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&ldquo;Okay,&rdquo; she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I bent to hug and kiss her and managed to avoid bonking the baby&rsquo;s head into hers, which I was proud of. Before I stood back up, she gave her baby sister a kiss on the head.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Then I turned around and walked away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But by the time I had gone 10 feet, I <strong>already<\/strong> missed seeing her face. I wouldn&rsquo;t see it again til Monday, so I turned back to steal a glance at my daughter in her school element.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She was in the line between two other girls, and she had pulled her t-shirt up to her face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To wipe her eyes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Had someone stepped on her foot? Said something mean?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I closed the gap between us, and she looked up at me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Her eyes were red, but she had been crying quietly &ndash; no sound. She blinked, and a couple more tears dropped to her cheeks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&ldquo;What&rsquo;s wrong?&rdquo; I asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&ldquo;I&rsquo;m sad you&rsquo;re leaving,&rdquo; she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This wasn&rsquo;t crying to get attention, as 5-year-olds will sometimes do. This wasn&rsquo;t an overreaction to some minor infraction committed by another kid.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This was raw emotion, leaking out of my child.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And now I couldn&rsquo;t control the emotion leaking out of me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I blinked to clear my eyes and pointed to my chest. &ldquo;Remember, you&rsquo;re always in here.&rdquo; Then pointed to her chest. &ldquo;And I&rsquo;m always in there. We&rsquo;re always together in there, no matter what. Always.&rdquo;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She nodded and gave me a sad, brave smile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I smiled back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When I turned to leave again, I headed to a spot just outside the cafeteria where I&rsquo;d be able to watch her but she couldn&rsquo;t see me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>As her class filed out of the cafeteria and towards the computer lab, I had to <strong>concentrate<\/strong> on keeping my feet where they were.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Don&rsquo;t make it harder on her,<\/em> I told myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Then just as she was about to disappear around the corner, she dipped her head down and pulled her shirt up to her eyes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">A Hard Decision When It Comes to Shared Custody<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>The rest of that week, I wondered if that lunch had been a good idea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Why upset her in the middle of the school day? Lunch at school is my only opportunity to see her on the weeks she&rsquo;s not with us, but maybe it was selfish of me to want that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She came back to us this Monday night, and we were all sitting at the dinner table.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&ldquo;Hey,&rdquo; I said. She looked up. &ldquo;Remember when Mommy visited you at school for lunch last week?&rdquo;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She nodded.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&ldquo;And remember how you cried when I left?&rdquo;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&ldquo;Yes,&rdquo; she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&ldquo;Maybe,&rdquo; I said, wanting to stop talking, wanting to leave it at that. &ldquo;Maybe&hellip;I shouldn&rsquo;t visit at lunch because it makes you sad.&rdquo;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&ldquo;No!&rdquo; she said, her face crumpling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&ldquo;But don&rsquo;t you think it&rsquo;s too hard?&rdquo;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&ldquo;I promise I won&rsquo;t cry again,&rdquo; she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&ldquo;No, no, that&rsquo;s not what I&rsquo;m saying. You don&rsquo;t have to hide it when you feel sad. I just thought maybe you would like it better if I didn&rsquo;t visit.&rdquo;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&ldquo;No, I want you to come.&rdquo; Her eyes were pink.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"270\" height=\"246\" src=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/lunch-box.jpg\" alt=\"How Shared Custody Every Other Week Almost Breaks Me\" class=\"wp-image-3528\" srcset=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/lunch-box.jpg 270w, https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/lunch-box-200x182.jpg 200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 270px) 100vw, 270px\" data-pin-media=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/lunch-box.jpg\"><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Photo by <a href=\"http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/buzzymelibee\/8451892324\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Melissa<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<p>&ldquo;Okay, I can do that.&rdquo; I took a deep breath, relieved I wouldn&rsquo;t have to give up my extra dose of her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The crease between her eyebrows softened. &ldquo;Can you come every week?&rdquo;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I smiled and nodded. &ldquo;I can come Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday. Which day would you like?&rdquo;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&ldquo;Friday.&rdquo; She was grinning now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&ldquo;It&rsquo;s a date, then. Fridays I have lunch with my girl.&rdquo;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She giggled. &ldquo;It&rsquo;s not a date!&rdquo;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>So then I had to explain the phrase &ldquo;it&rsquo;s a date.&rdquo; But I&rsquo;ll take that over explaining the American justice system any day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow\">\n<h6 class=\"wp-block-heading after-entry-cta\" id=\"h-before-you-go-get-my-free-cheat-sheet-75-nbsp-positive-phrases-every-child-needs-to-hear\">Before you go, get my FREE cheat sheet: <a href=\"#get-printable-positive-words\" class=\"modal-trigger\">75&nbsp;Positive Phrases Every Child Needs to Hear<\/a><\/h6>\n\n\n<style>#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-blocks-modal-link{color:var(--global-palette2, #2B6CB0);border-radius:0px;font-size:16px;line-height:24px;border-width:0px 0px 0px 0px;padding:0px 0px 0px 0px;margin:0px 0px 0px 0px;}#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-blocks-modal-link:hover, #kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-blocks-modal-link:focus{color:#f96d60;}#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-overlay, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-overlay, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-overlay{background:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.6);}#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-overlay, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-overlay, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-overlay{-ms-flex-pack:center;justify-content:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;}#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container{width:100%;max-width:700px;-ms-flex-pack:flex-start;justify-content:flex-start;text-align:left;-ms-flex-align:flex-start;align-items:flex-start;}#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container{padding-top:30px;padding-right:30px;padding-bottom:30px;padding-left:30px;margin-top:10px;margin-right:10px;margin-bottom:10px;margin-left:10px;}#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container{background:var(--global-palette9, #ffffff);border-top-left-radius:3px;border-top-right-radius:3px;border-bottom-right-radius:3px;border-bottom-left-radius:3px;border-top:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-right:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-bottom:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-left:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);}#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-close svg, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-close svg, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-close svg{width:24px;height:24px;}@media all and (max-width: 1024px){#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container{width:100%;border-top:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-right:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-bottom:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-left:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);}}@media all and (max-width: 1024px){#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-close svg, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-close svg, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-close svg{width:24px;height:24px;}}@media all and (max-width: 767px){#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container{width:100%;border-top:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-right:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-bottom:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-left:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);}#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-close svg, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-close svg, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-close svg{width:24px;height:24px;}}<\/style>\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-modal aligncenter kt-modal-linkalign-center\" id=\"kt-modal19878_ef407f-13\"><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Want More?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Check out <a href=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/joint-custody\/\">3 Ways to Cope With Joint Custody and Missing Your Child<\/a> and <a href=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/separation-anxiety-kids\/\">A Quick Fix for When Your Child Feels Separation Anxiety<\/a> for tips on parenting after divorce.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Your Turn<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Share your story in a comment below.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Inside: Here&rsquo;s a story from one parent about how shared custody really works. How do you cope when you don&rsquo;t see your child for a week or more at a time? I have shared custody of my 5-year-old girl. This means she&rsquo;s with us every other week &ndash; and with her dad and stepmom on&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":6570,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3506","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-co-parenting"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.0 (Yoast SEO v25.0) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>How Shared Custody Every Other Week Almost Breaks Me<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Here&#039;s a story from one parent about how shared custody really works. How do you cope when you don&#039;t see your child for a week or more at a time?\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/every-other-week-breaks-me\/\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Kelly Holmes, Certified Parent Educator\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"9 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/every-other-week-breaks-me\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/every-other-week-breaks-me\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Kelly Holmes, Certified Parent Educator\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/#\/schema\/person\/930987755e95179c5b9f3335e3c8ce57\"},\"headline\":\"How to Stay Connected to Your Child When You Share Custody\",\"datePublished\":\"2013-09-27T01:00:11+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2024-01-14T14:34:07+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/every-other-week-breaks-me\/\"},\"wordCount\":1815,\"commentCount\":33,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/every-other-week-breaks-me\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/shared-custody-feature.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Co-Parenting\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/every-other-week-breaks-me\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/every-other-week-breaks-me\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/every-other-week-breaks-me\/\",\"name\":\"How Shared Custody Every Other Week Almost Breaks Me\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/every-other-week-breaks-me\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/every-other-week-breaks-me\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/shared-custody-feature.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2013-09-27T01:00:11+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2024-01-14T14:34:07+00:00\",\"description\":\"Here's a story from one parent about how shared custody really works. How do you cope when you don't see your child for a week or more at a time?\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/every-other-week-breaks-me\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/every-other-week-breaks-me\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/every-other-week-breaks-me\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/shared-custody-feature.jpg\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/shared-custody-feature.jpg\",\"width\":740,\"height\":480},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/every-other-week-breaks-me\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Parenting\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/category\/parenting-tips\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":3,\"name\":\"Co-Parenting\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/category\/parenting-tips\/co-parenting\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":4,\"name\":\"How to Stay Connected to Your Child When You Share Custody\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/\",\"name\":\"Happy You, Happy Family\",\"description\":\"\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/#organization\",\"name\":\"Happy You, Happy Family\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/happyyouhappyfamilyLOGO-skinny.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/happyyouhappyfamilyLOGO-skinny.png\",\"width\":486,\"height\":340,\"caption\":\"Happy You, Happy Family\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/happyyouhappyfamily\",\"https:\/\/x.com\/kellyjholmes\"]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/#\/schema\/person\/930987755e95179c5b9f3335e3c8ce57\",\"name\":\"Kelly Holmes, Certified Parent Educator\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/037a5882c2b3829cead3c4e2d4b917f520c55bbce22b04ec761173cfb6509e0f?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/037a5882c2b3829cead3c4e2d4b917f520c55bbce22b04ec761173cfb6509e0f?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Kelly Holmes, Certified Parent Educator\"},\"description\":\"I'm a mom of four, a Certified Parent Educator, and the author of Happy You, Happy Family. I believe if you want a loving parent-child relationship that will last into the teenage years and beyond, the time for nurturing that kind of relationship is now. The good news? All you need is 10 minutes a day. Start here \u00bb\",\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/about\/\",\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/happyyouhappyfamily\",\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/kellyjholmes\/\",\"https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/kellyjholmes\/\"]}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO Premium plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"How Shared Custody Every Other Week Almost Breaks Me","description":"Here's a story from one parent about how shared custody really works. How do you cope when you don't see your child for a week or more at a time?","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/every-other-week-breaks-me\/","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Kelly Holmes, Certified Parent Educator","Est. reading time":"9 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/every-other-week-breaks-me\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/every-other-week-breaks-me\/"},"author":{"name":"Kelly Holmes, Certified Parent Educator","@id":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/#\/schema\/person\/930987755e95179c5b9f3335e3c8ce57"},"headline":"How to Stay Connected to Your Child When You Share Custody","datePublished":"2013-09-27T01:00:11+00:00","dateModified":"2024-01-14T14:34:07+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/every-other-week-breaks-me\/"},"wordCount":1815,"commentCount":33,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/every-other-week-breaks-me\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/shared-custody-feature.jpg","articleSection":["Co-Parenting"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/every-other-week-breaks-me\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/every-other-week-breaks-me\/","url":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/every-other-week-breaks-me\/","name":"How Shared Custody Every Other Week Almost Breaks Me","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/every-other-week-breaks-me\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/every-other-week-breaks-me\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/shared-custody-feature.jpg","datePublished":"2013-09-27T01:00:11+00:00","dateModified":"2024-01-14T14:34:07+00:00","description":"Here's a story from one parent about how shared custody really works. How do you cope when you don't see your child for a week or more at a time?","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/every-other-week-breaks-me\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/every-other-week-breaks-me\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/every-other-week-breaks-me\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/shared-custody-feature.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/shared-custody-feature.jpg","width":740,"height":480},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/every-other-week-breaks-me\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Parenting","item":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/category\/parenting-tips\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"Co-Parenting","item":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/category\/parenting-tips\/co-parenting\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":4,"name":"How to Stay Connected to Your Child When You Share Custody"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/","name":"Happy You, Happy Family","description":"","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/#organization","name":"Happy You, Happy Family","url":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/happyyouhappyfamilyLOGO-skinny.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/happyyouhappyfamilyLOGO-skinny.png","width":486,"height":340,"caption":"Happy You, Happy Family"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/happyyouhappyfamily","https:\/\/x.com\/kellyjholmes"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/#\/schema\/person\/930987755e95179c5b9f3335e3c8ce57","name":"Kelly Holmes, Certified Parent Educator","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/037a5882c2b3829cead3c4e2d4b917f520c55bbce22b04ec761173cfb6509e0f?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/037a5882c2b3829cead3c4e2d4b917f520c55bbce22b04ec761173cfb6509e0f?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Kelly Holmes, Certified Parent Educator"},"description":"I'm a mom of four, a Certified Parent Educator, and the author of Happy You, Happy Family. I believe if you want a loving parent-child relationship that will last into the teenage years and beyond, the time for nurturing that kind of relationship is now. The good news? All you need is 10 minutes a day. Start here \u00bb","sameAs":["https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/about\/","https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/happyyouhappyfamily","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/kellyjholmes\/","https:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/kellyjholmes\/"]}]}},"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":29,"label":"Co-Parenting"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/09\/shared-custody-feature.jpg",740,480,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Kelly Holmes, Certified Parent Educator","author_link":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/author\/kel\/"},"comment_info":34,"category_info":[{"term_id":29,"name":"Co-Parenting","slug":"co-parenting","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":30,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":28,"count":4,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":29,"category_count":4,"category_description":"","cat_name":"Co-Parenting","category_nicename":"co-parenting","category_parent":28}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3506","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3506"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3506\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6570"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3506"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3506"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3506"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}