{"id":6104,"date":"2014-11-25T08:00:25","date_gmt":"2014-11-25T14:00:25","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/?p=6104"},"modified":"2022-12-15T11:59:13","modified_gmt":"2022-12-15T17:59:13","slug":"rude-kids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/rude-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"Here&#8217;s Why I Will Never Force My Kids to Hug Anyone \u2013 And What I Do Instead"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"meta-desc\">Inside: When my kids see family they see just once a year, this is what happens. If my relatives think I have rude kids based on this decision, I&rsquo;m okay with that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This holiday season, my kids will be seeing relatives they see just once a year, if that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I expect our outgoing 18-month-old will have a brief warm-up period, then bust out her bubbly personality like she&rsquo;s at home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But our 6-year-old is terribly shy. She&rsquo;ll need <strong>at least<\/strong> a couple days before she&rsquo;s ready to open up.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Either way, in that moment when the long road trip is over and we pile out of the car, we&rsquo;ll see family we haven&rsquo;t seen in a long while.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>My husband Ty and I will greet them with hugs and smiles, but both kids will probably hang back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I will not say, &ldquo;Go give Uncle Jim a hug!&rdquo;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I will not say, &ldquo;Grandma missed you, why don&rsquo;t you give her a kiss?&rdquo;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I will not coerce my kids to show physical affection of any kind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"yellowbox\"><strong>Bonus:<\/strong> As a bonus for joining my weekly newsletter, <a class=\"modal-trigger\" href=\"#get-printable-hug-handshake\">get a free printable<\/a> coloring page to teach your child a magic phrase for this tough situation.<\/p>\n\n\n<style>#kt-modal20866_8f002d-0c .kt-blocks-modal-link{color:var(--global-palette2, #2B6CB0);border-radius:0px;font-size:16px;line-height:24px;border-width:0px 0px 0px 0px;padding:0px 0px 0px 0px;margin:0px 0px 0px 0px;}#kt-modal20866_8f002d-0c .kt-blocks-modal-link:hover, #kt-modal20866_8f002d-0c .kt-blocks-modal-link:focus{color:#f96d60;}#kt-modal20866_8f002d-0c .kt-modal-overlay, #kt-target-modal20866_8f002d-0c .kt-modal-overlay, .kb-modal-content20866_8f002d-0c .kt-modal-overlay{background:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.6);}#kt-modal20866_8f002d-0c .kt-modal-overlay, #kt-target-modal20866_8f002d-0c .kt-modal-overlay, .kb-modal-content20866_8f002d-0c .kt-modal-overlay{-ms-flex-pack:center;justify-content:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;}#kt-modal20866_8f002d-0c .kt-modal-container, #kt-target-modal20866_8f002d-0c .kt-modal-container, .kb-modal-content20866_8f002d-0c .kt-modal-container{width:100%;max-width:700px;-ms-flex-pack:flex-start;justify-content:flex-start;text-align:left;-ms-flex-align:flex-start;align-items:flex-start;}#kt-modal20866_8f002d-0c .kt-modal-container, #kt-target-modal20866_8f002d-0c .kt-modal-container, .kb-modal-content20866_8f002d-0c .kt-modal-container{padding-top:30px;padding-right:30px;padding-bottom:30px;padding-left:30px;margin-top:10px;margin-right:10px;margin-bottom:10px;margin-left:10px;}#kt-modal20866_8f002d-0c .kt-modal-container, #kt-target-modal20866_8f002d-0c .kt-modal-container, .kb-modal-content20866_8f002d-0c .kt-modal-container{background:var(--global-palette9, #ffffff);border-top-left-radius:3px;border-top-right-radius:3px;border-bottom-right-radius:3px;border-bottom-left-radius:3px;border-top:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-right:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-bottom:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-left:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);}#kt-modal20866_8f002d-0c .kt-modal-close svg, #kt-target-modal20866_8f002d-0c .kt-modal-close svg, .kb-modal-content20866_8f002d-0c .kt-modal-close svg{width:24px;height:24px;}@media all and (max-width: 1024px){#kt-modal20866_8f002d-0c .kt-modal-container, #kt-target-modal20866_8f002d-0c .kt-modal-container, .kb-modal-content20866_8f002d-0c .kt-modal-container{width:100%;border-top:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-right:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-bottom:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-left:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);}}@media all and (max-width: 1024px){#kt-modal20866_8f002d-0c .kt-modal-close svg, #kt-target-modal20866_8f002d-0c .kt-modal-close svg, .kb-modal-content20866_8f002d-0c .kt-modal-close svg{width:24px;height:24px;}}@media all and (max-width: 767px){#kt-modal20866_8f002d-0c .kt-modal-container, #kt-target-modal20866_8f002d-0c .kt-modal-container, .kb-modal-content20866_8f002d-0c .kt-modal-container{width:100%;border-top:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-right:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-bottom:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-left:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);}#kt-modal20866_8f002d-0c .kt-modal-close svg, #kt-target-modal20866_8f002d-0c .kt-modal-close svg, .kb-modal-content20866_8f002d-0c .kt-modal-close svg{width:24px;height:24px;}}<\/style>\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-modal aligncenter kt-modal-linkalign-center\" id=\"kt-modal20866_8f002d-0c\"><\/div>\n\n\n<style>.kb-table-of-content-nav.kb-table-of-content-id_21b85d-25 .kb-table-of-content-wrap{padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;border-top-width:0px;border-right-width:0px;border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;}.kb-table-of-content-nav.kb-table-of-content-id_21b85d-25 .kb-table-of-contents-title-wrap{padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;}.kb-table-of-content-nav.kb-table-of-content-id_21b85d-25 .kb-table-of-contents-title{font-weight:regular;font-style:normal;text-transform:uppercase;}.kb-table-of-content-nav.kb-table-of-content-id_21b85d-25 .kb-table-of-content-wrap .kb-table-of-content-list{font-weight:regular;font-style:normal;margin-top:var(--global-kb-spacing-sm, 1.5rem);margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;}<\/style>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-rude-kids\">Rude Kids?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>What I&rsquo;m about to say may be a little controversial.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Actually, I know it will be because I&rsquo;ve had a few <strong>lively<\/strong> conversations about it with friends and family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I&rsquo;m not sharing my perspective because I think you should do what I do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I know I&rsquo;m most likely the oddball.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>No, I decided to share today simply in order to explain where I&rsquo;m coming from.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is one of those parenting decisions you have to make for yourself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Some parents teach their kids to believe in Santa. Some don&rsquo;t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Some parents send their kids to public school. Some homeschool.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And some parents acknowledge the existence of the <em>Star Wars<\/em> prequel trilogy.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>To each their own.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>My hope is that my story helps you consider a different perspective. Not to change your mind, but so that if you have a friend or family member who feels the same way I do, you can approach them from a place of understanding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/rude-kids-friend.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"428\" src=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/rude-kids-friend.jpg\" alt=\"Think I Have Rude Kids? Hear Me Out\" class=\"wp-image-6121\" srcset=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/rude-kids-friend.jpg 640w, https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/rude-kids-friend-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/rude-kids-friend-437x292.jpg 437w, https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/rude-kids-friend-200x133.jpg 200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" data-pin-media=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/rude-kids-friend.jpg\"><\/a><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Photo by <a href=\"http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/jadendave\/4978095475\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">ModernDope<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-but-why\">But Why?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Twice, my 6-year-old has been in a situation where her instincts told her she didn&rsquo;t feel safe with how someone was touching her body.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In both situations, she felt confident enough to say, &ldquo;No, don&rsquo;t touch me like that.&rdquo; And she felt comfortable enough to tell me about what happened. Together, we came up with a plan for how to handle what happened and to prevent it in the future.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>How is it <strong>possible<\/strong> that my shy little people-pleaser felt confident enough to say no?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Because my husband and I reinforce with her as much as humanly possible that she is the ONLY person in the world who gets to decide who touches her body.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A major part of reinforcing this message is how we approach physical affection with friends and family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Related: <a href=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/kids-hugging-family\/\">The Magic Greeting Every Kid Should Learn Before Visiting Family<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-what-we-do-that-might-sound-odd\">What We Do That Might Sound Odd<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>We tell our daughter that it&rsquo;s her job to decide what she&rsquo;s comfortable with. We don&rsquo;t force or coerce or guilt her into being physically affectionate with anyone, <strong>including us<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When we visit the grandparents, we don&rsquo;t say: &ldquo;Now go give Grandma a hug and a kiss.&rdquo;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Instead, we lean down and say quietly so others can&rsquo;t overhear: &ldquo;<strong>Do you want<\/strong> to give Grandma a hug or a kiss?&rdquo;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If she doesn&rsquo;t feel comfortable with that, that&rsquo;s her choice. Later, we can talk about it and explore why she didn&rsquo;t. Maybe she needed some extra time to warm up to them after not seeing them for a while.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>But no matter the reason:<\/strong> Her body, her choice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If we felt like our kids were refusing physical touch just to be contrary or because they were having a crabby day, our approach is still the same. It&rsquo;s not for us to decide who they feel comfortable touching.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And if she refuses a hug just as a power struggle?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><em>Who cares.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/rude-kids-bad-mood.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"567\" src=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/rude-kids-bad-mood.jpg\" alt=\"Why You Might Think I Have Rude Kids\" class=\"wp-image-6123\" srcset=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/rude-kids-bad-mood.jpg 640w, https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/rude-kids-bad-mood-300x265.jpg 300w, https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/rude-kids-bad-mood-330x292.jpg 330w, https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/rude-kids-bad-mood-200x177.jpg 200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" data-pin-media=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/rude-kids-bad-mood.jpg\"><\/a><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Photo by <a href=\"http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/15369938@N08\/3647775426\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Allana<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<p>Sometimes kids are in a bad mood and don&rsquo;t feel like hugging Grandma. Shoot, sometimes <em>I&rsquo;m<\/em> in a bad mood and don&rsquo;t feel like hugging anyone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>No one&rsquo;s forcing <strong>me<\/strong> to give them a hug, but we tend not to give a second thought to forcing a child into physical touch they don&rsquo;t want.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If this approach results in hurt feelings on the part of the non-hugged family member, so be it. They&rsquo;re adults, and we can talk to them later about what happened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><a name=\"phrase\"><\/a>I never want to send the message to my child that adults can force physical touch on her. In a world where sexual assault is <a href=\"https:\/\/www.rainn.org\/statistics\/scope-problem\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">more common than you might think<\/a>, this is an issue we take more seriously than just about anything else.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"phrase\">Here&rsquo;s an Even Better Idea for You<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>If any of this is resonating with you, I wanted to share another approach we learned from a teacher at my daughter&rsquo;s school.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When saying goodbye to a student in her class, she says, &ldquo;Hug, handshake, or high-five?&rdquo;<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/rude-kids-high-five.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"426\" src=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/rude-kids-high-five.jpg\" alt=\"Hug, Handshake, or High Five?\" class=\"wp-image-6125\" srcset=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/rude-kids-high-five.jpg 640w, https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/rude-kids-high-five-300x199.jpg 300w, https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/rude-kids-high-five-439x292.jpg 439w, https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/rude-kids-high-five-200x133.jpg 200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" data-pin-media=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/rude-kids-high-five.jpg\"><\/a><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Photo by <a href=\"http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/esteveconaway\/6501276811\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Esteve Conaway<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<p>This puts the child in the <strong>driver&rsquo;s seat<\/strong> of deciding the level of touch they feel comfortable with.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Plus, it&rsquo;s catchy and easy to remember.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Teachers have told me that &ldquo;hug, handshake, or high-five&rdquo; comes from a classroom management strategy called Conscious Discipline created by Dr. Becky Bailey. If you like the idea of this greeting, you will probably enjoy Dr. Bailey&rsquo;s book for parents called <a title=\"Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline\" href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/0060007753\/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;creativeASIN=0060007753&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=idealmom-20&amp;linkId=CGG4CHRFXHYPO4EP\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline: The 7 Basic Skills for Turning Conflict into Cooperation<\/a><sup>&dagger;<\/sup>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"meta-desc\"><sup>&dagger;<\/sup> This site is reader-supported. When you buy through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Related: <a href=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/how-to-teach-young-girls-to-demand-respect\/\">How to Teach Your Girl to Demand Respect<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-how-to-use-this-magic-phrase-with-your-child\">How to Use This Magic Phrase With Your Child<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Before you end up in this tricky situation, teach your child this phrase:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<blockquote class=\"wp-block-quote is-layout-flow wp-block-quote-is-layout-flow\">\n<p>Hug, handshake, or high-five?<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n<p>Practice it at home ahead of time. You might try setting up a doll on the couch and pretend she&rsquo;s grandma. Then walk up to grandma with your child, turn to your little one, and say <em>to your child<\/em>, &ldquo;Hug, handshake, or high-five?&rdquo;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>In the car before you get out to walk up to a house full of extended family members or your adult friends, talk through the scenario <strong>one last time<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Then when you&rsquo;re inside the house and your child hesitates in the moment of greeting, say it out loud <em>to your child<\/em> to remind them they&rsquo;re in the driver&rsquo;s seat: &ldquo;Hug, handshake, or high-five?&rdquo; This has the added benefit of getting the adult up to speed on the fact that your child gets to decide the level of contact they feel comfortable with.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-or-make-up-your-own-phrase\">Or&hellip;Make Up Your Own Phrase<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>If your child prefers fist bumps, waving, or blowing kisses, those are all great alternatives too. Bonus points to whomever leaves the most clever catch phrases in the comments of this post!<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"aligncenter\"><a class=\"modal-trigger\" href=\"#get-printable-hug-handshake\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"309\" height=\"400\" data-pin-id=\"128000814392452499\" data-pin-description=\"Before you visit extended family for Thanksgiving or Christmas holidays or summer vacation, teach your child this 3-part greeting. This parenting tip is perfect for kids who shy away from hugging in that situation! Includes a free printable coloring page for kids. Great way to teach consent and bodily autonomy to young kids! #familyreunion #parentingtips #parenting\" src=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/Hug-Handshake-High-Five-wm.png\" alt=\"The Best Solution for When Kids Don't Want to Hug Family\" class=\"wp-image-11835\" srcset=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/Hug-Handshake-High-Five-wm.png 309w, https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/Hug-Handshake-High-Five-wm-232x300.png 232w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 309px) 100vw, 309px\" data-pin-media=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/11\/Hug-Handshake-High-Five-wm.png\"><\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-print-this-sign-to-teach-your-kids\">Print This Sign to Teach Your Kids<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>This post includes a <strong>free printable<\/strong> &ldquo;hug, handshake, or high-five&rdquo; sign for you and your child. (See below for how to download it.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Your child can color in the words on this sign, and then you can hang it in your house as a reminder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>For the science of why coloring words on a sign helps your child internalize a lesson, check out <a href=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/growth-mindset-posters\/\">9 Powerful Phrases That Will Inspire Your Kid to Keep Trying &ndash; Even When It&rsquo;s Hard<\/a>. But remember to keep it <strong>light and fun<\/strong>. If you introduce fear and stress into the situation for your child, <a title=\"Nine Things Educators Need to Know About the Brain\" href=\"http:\/\/greatergood.berkeley.edu\/article\/item\/nine_things_educators_need_to_know_about_the_brain\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">learning stops<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>To keep it fun, try printing two copies, then sit by your child and color them together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-get-your-free-printable\">Get Your Free Printable<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Get the color-in sign<\/strong>. You&rsquo;ll get the printable, plus join my weekly newsletter! Just <a class=\"modal-trigger\" href=\"#get-printable-hug-handshake\">click here to get it and subscribe<\/a>.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Print<\/strong>. Any paper will do the trick, but <a title=\"Neenah Exact Vellum Bristol\" href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/B006P1Z59O\/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=idealmom-20&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;creativeASIN=B006P1Z59O&amp;linkId=428faa7fb29c64bb524a5230edaa1f0e\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">sturdy card stock<\/a> would be ideal.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Set your child up<\/strong> to color the sign. Regular old crayons work fine, or you can pair the activity with a fun new art supply like <a title=\"Tombow Dual Brush Pen Set\" href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/B0044JIU2S\/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;creativeASIN=B0044JIU2S&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=idealmom-20&amp;linkId=6YI7KMHHBW457H7U\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">watercolor pens<\/a> or <a title=\"Sharpie Fine-Tip Permanent Marker, 24-Pack\" href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/B0003WN0DO\/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;creativeASIN=B0003WN0DO&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=idealmom-20&amp;linkId=SPS4D55T7F5VT6NR\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">80&rsquo;s Glam Sharpies<\/a>.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow\">\n<h6 class=\"wp-block-heading after-entry-cta\" id=\"h-before-you-go-get-my-free-cheat-sheet-75-nbsp-positive-phrases-every-child-needs-to-hear\">Before you go, get my FREE cheat sheet: <a href=\"#get-printable-positive-words\" class=\"modal-trigger\">75&nbsp;Positive Phrases Every Child Needs to Hear<\/a><\/h6>\n\n\n<style>#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-blocks-modal-link{color:var(--global-palette2, #2B6CB0);border-radius:0px;font-size:16px;line-height:24px;border-width:0px 0px 0px 0px;padding:0px 0px 0px 0px;margin:0px 0px 0px 0px;}#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-blocks-modal-link:hover, #kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-blocks-modal-link:focus{color:#f96d60;}#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-overlay, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-overlay, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-overlay{background:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.6);}#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-overlay, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-overlay, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-overlay{-ms-flex-pack:center;justify-content:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;}#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container{width:100%;max-width:700px;-ms-flex-pack:flex-start;justify-content:flex-start;text-align:left;-ms-flex-align:flex-start;align-items:flex-start;}#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container{padding-top:30px;padding-right:30px;padding-bottom:30px;padding-left:30px;margin-top:10px;margin-right:10px;margin-bottom:10px;margin-left:10px;}#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container{background:var(--global-palette9, #ffffff);border-top-left-radius:3px;border-top-right-radius:3px;border-bottom-right-radius:3px;border-bottom-left-radius:3px;border-top:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-right:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-bottom:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-left:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);}#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-close svg, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-close svg, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-close svg{width:24px;height:24px;}@media all and (max-width: 1024px){#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container{width:100%;border-top:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-right:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-bottom:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-left:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);}}@media all and (max-width: 1024px){#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-close svg, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-close svg, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-close svg{width:24px;height:24px;}}@media all and (max-width: 767px){#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container{width:100%;border-top:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-right:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-bottom:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-left:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);}#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-close svg, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-close svg, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-close svg{width:24px;height:24px;}}<\/style>\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-modal aligncenter kt-modal-linkalign-center\" id=\"kt-modal19878_ef407f-13\"><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-your-turn\">Your Turn<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>What are your thoughts on handling situations like this? Please share your thoughts in a comment below.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Inside: When my kids see family they see just once a year, this is what happens. If my relatives think I have rude kids based on this decision, I&rsquo;m okay with that. This holiday season, my kids will be seeing relatives they see just once a year, if that. I expect our outgoing 18-month-old will&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":6127,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[28,23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6104","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting-tips","category-printables"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.0 (Yoast SEO v25.0) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Why You Might Think I Have Rude Kids<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"When my kids see family they see just once a year, this is what happens. If my relatives think I have rude kids based on this decision, I&#039;m okay with that.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/rude-kids\/\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Kelly Holmes, Certified Parent Educator\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"7 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/rude-kids\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/rude-kids\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Kelly Holmes, Certified Parent Educator\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/#\/schema\/person\/930987755e95179c5b9f3335e3c8ce57\"},\"headline\":\"Here&#8217;s Why I Will Never Force My Kids to Hug Anyone \u2013 And What I Do Instead\",\"datePublished\":\"2014-11-25T14:00:25+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-12-15T17:59:13+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/rude-kids\/\"},\"wordCount\":1424,\"commentCount\":141,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/rude-kids\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/rude-kids-feature.jpg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Parenting\",\"Printables\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/rude-kids\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/rude-kids\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/rude-kids\/\",\"name\":\"Why You Might Think I Have Rude Kids\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/rude-kids\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/rude-kids\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/rude-kids-feature.jpg\",\"datePublished\":\"2014-11-25T14:00:25+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2022-12-15T17:59:13+00:00\",\"description\":\"When my kids see family they see just once a year, this is what happens. 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