{"id":6518,"date":"2015-01-15T10:30:33","date_gmt":"2015-01-15T16:30:33","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/?p=6518"},"modified":"2024-01-14T08:15:23","modified_gmt":"2024-01-14T14:15:23","slug":"how-to-make-a-blended-family-work","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/how-to-make-a-blended-family-work\/","title":{"rendered":"Here\u2019s a Quick Way for Your Blended Family to Stay Connected"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"meta-desc\">Inside: It can be hard for a blended family to stay connected. Here&rsquo;s an easy trick for how to make a blended family work. This one tip will strengthen your family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We are a blended family. <a title=\"How Every Other Week Almost Breaks Me\" href=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/2013\/09\/every-other-week-breaks-me\/\">Every other week<\/a>, our 6-year-old lives with us. The other weeks, she lives with her dad and stepmom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Over the years, Ty and I have cobbled together our own toolbox of tricks for <strong>how to make a blended family work<\/strong>. But we weren&rsquo;t prepared for what would happen when we decided to add another little one to our family.<\/p>\n\n\n<style>.kb-table-of-content-nav.kb-table-of-content-id6518_245893-5d .kb-table-of-content-wrap{padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;}.kb-table-of-content-nav.kb-table-of-content-id6518_245893-5d .kb-table-of-contents-title-wrap{padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;}.kb-table-of-content-nav.kb-table-of-content-id6518_245893-5d .kb-table-of-contents-title{font-weight:regular;font-style:normal;text-transform:uppercase;}.kb-table-of-content-nav.kb-table-of-content-id6518_245893-5d .kb-table-of-content-wrap .kb-table-of-content-list{font-weight:regular;font-style:normal;margin-top:var(--global-kb-spacing-sm, 1.5rem);margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;}<\/style>\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-an-unexpected-bump\">An Unexpected Bump<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>I&rsquo;ve always had the same last name&mdash;my maiden name. And while Ty <em>is<\/em> a modern man who loves to bake and prides himself on dressing well, when we got married he <strong>didn&rsquo;t<\/strong> consider changing his last name to mine. And then my oldest&rsquo;s last name is from my first marriage.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>One family. Three <strong>different<\/strong> last names.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When I got pregnant three years ago, my oldest was beyond excited that she&rsquo;d be getting a little sister or brother.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>At 20 weeks pregnant, we <strong>found out<\/strong> that little one was a girl. It didn&rsquo;t take us long after that to settle on a name.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>A couple days after we told her what her sister&rsquo;s name would be, my oldest and I were sitting on the living room floor playing Go Fish.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I shuffled the cards for the next game.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&ldquo;Mommy,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;What will the baby&rsquo;s <em>last<\/em> name be?&rdquo;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I looked up to see a tiny wrinkle of worry between her little eyebrows.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<p>&ldquo;Well, we haven&rsquo;t decided for sure, but she&rsquo;ll probably have Ty&rsquo;s last name.&rdquo;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&ldquo;Why won&rsquo;t she have my last name?&rdquo;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I reached out and rubbed her back. &ldquo;Honey, your last name is related to your dad. Your sister isn&rsquo;t related to him at all, so it wouldn&rsquo;t make sense for her to have that last name.&rdquo;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Her chin dropped to her chest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&ldquo;I just want to have the same last name as my sister.&rdquo;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignwide\"><a href=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/letter-sister-kiss.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"426\" src=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/letter-sister-kiss.jpg\" alt=\"How to Make a Blended Family Work When You're Having Another Baby\" class=\"wp-image-5683\" srcset=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/letter-sister-kiss.jpg 640w, https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/letter-sister-kiss-300x199.jpg 300w, https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/letter-sister-kiss-439x292.jpg 439w, https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/letter-sister-kiss-200x133.jpg 200w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" data-pin-media=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/letter-sister-kiss.jpg\"><\/a><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Photo by <a href=\"http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/ben_grey\/6816960902\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Ben Grey<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-a-parenting-dilemma\">A Parenting Dilemma<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>We had lots of talks about how they&rsquo;d be connected as sisters because they both grew inside my belly. That they were the only people in the world who&rsquo;d know what my heart sounds like from the inside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We talked about how Ty and I have different last names, but that didn&rsquo;t make us any less connected as a family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But <strong>still<\/strong>, she was sad. She felt like she wouldn&rsquo;t have anything in common with her sister.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>One night after she was in bed, Ty and I were brainstorming other ways to help our oldest feel connected to her baby sister.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&ldquo;Maybe we could give the baby the same middle name as her?&rdquo; I said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&ldquo;We could,&rdquo; Ty said. &ldquo;But what happens if we decide to have another one down the line? Will they all have to have the same middle name?&rdquo;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&ldquo;True.&rdquo;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We sat in silence for a few seconds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I sighed. &ldquo;Most families can call themselves the Millers or the Smiths or the Griswolds. We miss out on that.&rdquo;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&ldquo;What if we came up with our own name then?&rdquo; Ty asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&ldquo;What, like change all our names to be the same?&rdquo;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>&ldquo;No, just a name we use to refer to ourselves as a family.&rdquo;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It&rsquo;s really not fair that he gets <strong>all<\/strong> the good ideas.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignwide\"><a href=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/how-to-make-a-blended-family-work-pancakes.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"427\" src=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/how-to-make-a-blended-family-work-pancakes.jpg\" alt=\"How to Make a Blended Family Work\" class=\"wp-image-6534\" srcset=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/how-to-make-a-blended-family-work-pancakes.jpg 640w, https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/how-to-make-a-blended-family-work-pancakes-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/how-to-make-a-blended-family-work-pancakes-438x292.jpg 438w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" data-pin-media=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/how-to-make-a-blended-family-work-pancakes.jpg\"><\/a><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Photo by <a href=\"http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/hedvigs\/12591821175\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">hedvigs<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-the-next-morning\">The Next Morning<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Over pancakes and eggs, we shared the idea with our child. We&rsquo;d come up with a <strong>special<\/strong> name, just for our little blended family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>She LOVED it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Then we just had to decide what to call ourselves.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We like to bake together, so we considered The Bakers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We like to tinker in the garage fixing broken things&mdash;and we&rsquo;d just seen and loved <em>Wreck-It Ralph<\/em>&mdash;so we thought about becoming The Fix-It Family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We threw out idea after idea, but nothing seemed to be the perfect fit.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Then <strong>finally<\/strong>, we figured it out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>We live right up against a wooded area, so from the very first day we toured the house that would become our family home, we&rsquo;ve called it &ldquo;The Treehouse.&rdquo;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And so, we became The Treehouse Family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignwide\"><a href=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/how-to-make-a-blended-family-work-treehouse.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"357\" src=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/how-to-make-a-blended-family-work-treehouse.jpg\" alt=\"How to Make a Blended Family Work\" class=\"wp-image-6536\" srcset=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/how-to-make-a-blended-family-work-treehouse.jpg 640w, https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/how-to-make-a-blended-family-work-treehouse-300x167.jpg 300w, https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/how-to-make-a-blended-family-work-treehouse-523x292.jpg 523w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 640px) 100vw, 640px\" data-pin-media=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/how-to-make-a-blended-family-work-treehouse.jpg\"><\/a><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Photo by <a href=\"http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/mollystevens\/272129532\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Molly Stevens<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-a-quick-tip-for-how-to-make-a-blended-family-work\">A Quick Tip for How to Make a Blended Family Work<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>If you&rsquo;re looking for a way to create a sense of togetherness for your blended family, try coming up with a special family name you all have in common.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It seems so <strong>simple<\/strong>, but it&rsquo;s been a huge help in keeping us connected as a family. We use our special name to build our identity as a family. We use it to reinforce our values. We use it to rally around a common goal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When something goes wrong or not as planned, we say, &ldquo;But what&rsquo;s the thing about the Treehouse family? We figure stuff out. We fix it!&rdquo;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When it&rsquo;s time to tidy up, we <strong>don&rsquo;t<\/strong> have to mess around with chore charts or paying our kids to help around the house. We just say, &ldquo;This is the Treehouse family&rsquo;s house, so it&rsquo;s our job as a family to help keep it tidy and clean.&rdquo;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When our oldest asks to go out for ice cream after dinner, all she has to say is: &ldquo;Because the Treehouse family loves dessert!&rdquo;<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And you really can&rsquo;t argue with that line of reasoning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow\">\n<h6 class=\"wp-block-heading after-entry-cta\" id=\"h-before-you-go-get-my-free-cheat-sheet-75-nbsp-positive-phrases-every-child-needs-to-hear\">Before you go, get my FREE cheat sheet: <a href=\"#get-printable-positive-words\" class=\"modal-trigger\">75&nbsp;Positive Phrases Every Child Needs to Hear<\/a><\/h6>\n\n\n<style>#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-blocks-modal-link{color:var(--global-palette2, #2B6CB0);border-radius:0px;font-size:16px;line-height:24px;border-width:0px 0px 0px 0px;padding:0px 0px 0px 0px;margin:0px 0px 0px 0px;}#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-blocks-modal-link:hover, #kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-blocks-modal-link:focus{color:#f96d60;}#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-overlay, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-overlay, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-overlay{background:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.6);}#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-overlay, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-overlay, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-overlay{-ms-flex-pack:center;justify-content:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;}#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container{width:100%;max-width:700px;-ms-flex-pack:flex-start;justify-content:flex-start;text-align:left;-ms-flex-align:flex-start;align-items:flex-start;}#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container{padding-top:30px;padding-right:30px;padding-bottom:30px;padding-left:30px;margin-top:10px;margin-right:10px;margin-bottom:10px;margin-left:10px;}#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container{background:var(--global-palette9, #ffffff);border-top-left-radius:3px;border-top-right-radius:3px;border-bottom-right-radius:3px;border-bottom-left-radius:3px;border-top:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-right:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-bottom:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-left:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);}#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-close svg, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-close svg, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-close svg{width:24px;height:24px;}@media all and (max-width: 1024px){#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container{width:100%;border-top:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-right:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-bottom:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-left:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);}}@media all and (max-width: 1024px){#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-close svg, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-close svg, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-close svg{width:24px;height:24px;}}@media all and (max-width: 767px){#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container{width:100%;border-top:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-right:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-bottom:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-left:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);}#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-close svg, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-close svg, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-close svg{width:24px;height:24px;}}<\/style>\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-modal aligncenter kt-modal-linkalign-center\" id=\"kt-modal19878_ef407f-13\"><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Your Turn<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>In your family, how do you stay connected? Share your tip in a comment below!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Inside: It can be hard for a blended family to stay connected. Here&rsquo;s an easy trick for how to make a blended family work. This one tip will strengthen your family. We are a blended family. Every other week, our 6-year-old lives with us. The other weeks, she lives with her dad and stepmom. Over&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":6541,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6518","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-co-parenting"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.0 (Yoast SEO v25.0) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Here&#039;s a Quick Tip for How to Make a Blended Family Work<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"It can be hard for a blended family to stay connected. Here&#039;s an easy trick for how to make a blended family work. 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