{"id":6727,"date":"2015-02-04T17:00:29","date_gmt":"2015-02-04T23:00:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/?p=6727"},"modified":"2024-01-25T07:17:01","modified_gmt":"2024-01-25T13:17:01","slug":"couple-hugging","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/couple-hugging\/","title":{"rendered":"Why You\u2019re Hugging All Wrong &#8211; And How to Fix It"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"meta-desc\">Inside: Recently, I learned the way I&rsquo;m hugging my husband is all wrong. You probably are too. Here&rsquo;s why, plus how to fix your couple hugging approach.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I am not what you would call a &ldquo;hugger.&rdquo; Sure, I hug my close friends and family.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But acquaintances and co-workers? Those hugs feel forced and awkward, and it&rsquo;s like my body has <strong>forgotten<\/strong> how to execute on a hug. Which side do I tilt my head to? Do I use both arms? What if I use only one arm, but it&rsquo;s the same side arm they use, and our arms meet in the middle in a clumsy hug-and-high-five hybrid?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Don&rsquo;t even get me <em>started<\/em> on the boob issue.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Clearly, I am in need of some coaching in the casual hugging department.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>But recently, I learned that it&rsquo;s not just the casual hugs I&rsquo;m struggling with.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>The way I&rsquo;m hugging my husband and kids is <strong>all wrong<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n<style>.kb-table-of-content-nav.kb-table-of-content-id_98dd76-c0 .kb-table-of-content-wrap{padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;border-top-width:0px;border-right-width:0px;border-bottom-width:0px;border-left-width:0px;}.kb-table-of-content-nav.kb-table-of-content-id_98dd76-c0 .kb-table-of-contents-title-wrap{padding-top:0px;padding-right:0px;padding-bottom:0px;padding-left:0px;}.kb-table-of-content-nav.kb-table-of-content-id_98dd76-c0 .kb-table-of-contents-title{font-weight:regular;font-style:normal;text-transform:uppercase;}.kb-table-of-content-nav.kb-table-of-content-id_98dd76-c0 .kb-table-of-content-wrap .kb-table-of-content-list{font-weight:regular;font-style:normal;margin-top:var(--global-kb-spacing-sm, 1.5rem);margin-right:0px;margin-bottom:0px;margin-left:0px;}<\/style>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-constrained wp-block-group-is-layout-constrained\">\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\" id=\"h-here-s-why\">Here&rsquo;s Why<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>According to <a title=\"The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun\" href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/006158326X\/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;creativeASIN=006158326X&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=idealmom-20&amp;linkId=3GZFYHG5BVJQKELZ\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\">The Happiness Project<\/a><sup>&dagger;<\/sup>, you need to hold a hug for at least <strong>six seconds<\/strong> to get the happy chemicals oxytocin and serotonin flowing.<\/p>\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\">\n<figure class=\"alignright\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.amazon.com\/gp\/product\/006158326X\/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;creativeASIN=006158326X&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;tag=idealmom-20&amp;linkId=3GZFYHG5BVJQKELZ\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"180\" height=\"275\" src=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/happiness-project.jpg\" alt=\"The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun\" class=\"wp-image-6731\" data-pin-media=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/happiness-project.jpg\"><\/a><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n<p>Why is that important? Those are the chemicals that boost your mood and promote bonding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>After I learned this, I paid attention to the hugs I gave my husband and kids for a couple days. I counted to myself while we hugged.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Three seconds here, half a second there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Our hugs&mdash;if we remembered to exchange them&mdash;were <strong>rushed<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>After a couple days of those quick, bland hugs, I decided to do my own experiment.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<!--more-->\n\n\n\n<p>When my husband got home from work, I walked up to him and opened my arms for a hug.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Then <strong>instead<\/strong> of letting go after a couple seconds, I just kept hugging.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>And the funniest thing happened.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>After six seconds, my body felt warmer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Eight seconds, and my body relaxed into his.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Ten seconds, I let go of a deep breath I didn&rsquo;t realize I&rsquo;d been holding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>After our crazy busy day filled with work drama and toddler <a title=\"How to Handle Your Kid&rsquo;s Temper Tantrum Like a Ninja Mom\" href=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/2013\/09\/handle-kids-temper-tantrums\/\">temper tantrums<\/a>, we just&hellip;connected.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Everything else <strong>melted away<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>That hug recharged me so I could face whatever came my way&mdash;from <a title=\"Do You Make This Mistake at the Dinner Table?\" href=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/2013\/05\/mistake-at-dinner\/\">picky eating at dinner<\/a> to <a href=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/kid-sleep-through-night\/\">epic bedtime stalling<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"meta-desc\"><sup>&dagger;<\/sup> This site is reader-supported. When you buy through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Related: <a href=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/how-to-hug-a-child\/\">21 Sweet and Silly Ways to Hug Your Child So They Feel Absolutely Loved<\/a> {Printable}<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image alignwide\"><a href=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/wedding-hands.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"600\" height=\"398\" src=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/wedding-hands.jpg\" alt=\"Why Youre Hugging All Wrong - And How to Fix It\" class=\"wp-image-6339\" srcset=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/wedding-hands.jpg 600w, https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/wedding-hands-300x199.jpg 300w, https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/wedding-hands-440x292.jpg 440w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px\" data-pin-media=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/12\/wedding-hands.jpg\"><\/a><figcaption class=\"wp-element-caption\">Photo by <a href=\"http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/straightpimpin\/8089045382\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noreferrer noopener\">Bailey Foster<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">A Hugging Challenge for You<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>After you read this, promise yourself you&rsquo;ll try a 6-second hug. Say it out loud to yourself, or write it down to make the commitment <strong>official<\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Then the next time you see your partner, try it out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>After six seconds, I bet you&rsquo;ll be hooked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>When the day-to-day routine starts to get the better of you, a 6-second hug is the perfect way to connect with your husband or wife.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Your marriage needs it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-group\"><div class=\"wp-block-group__inner-container is-layout-flow wp-block-group-is-layout-flow\">\n<h6 class=\"wp-block-heading after-entry-cta\" id=\"h-before-you-go-get-my-free-cheat-sheet-75-nbsp-positive-phrases-every-child-needs-to-hear\">Before you go, get my FREE cheat sheet: <a href=\"#get-printable-positive-words\" class=\"modal-trigger\">75&nbsp;Positive Phrases Every Child Needs to Hear<\/a><\/h6>\n\n\n<style>#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-blocks-modal-link{color:var(--global-palette2, #2B6CB0);border-radius:0px;font-size:16px;line-height:24px;border-width:0px 0px 0px 0px;padding:0px 0px 0px 0px;margin:0px 0px 0px 0px;}#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-blocks-modal-link:hover, #kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-blocks-modal-link:focus{color:#f96d60;}#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-overlay, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-overlay, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-overlay{background:rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.6);}#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-overlay, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-overlay, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-overlay{-ms-flex-pack:center;justify-content:center;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;}#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container{width:100%;max-width:700px;-ms-flex-pack:flex-start;justify-content:flex-start;text-align:left;-ms-flex-align:flex-start;align-items:flex-start;}#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container{padding-top:30px;padding-right:30px;padding-bottom:30px;padding-left:30px;margin-top:10px;margin-right:10px;margin-bottom:10px;margin-left:10px;}#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container{background:var(--global-palette9, #ffffff);border-top-left-radius:3px;border-top-right-radius:3px;border-bottom-right-radius:3px;border-bottom-left-radius:3px;border-top:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-right:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-bottom:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-left:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);}#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-close svg, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-close svg, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-close svg{width:24px;height:24px;}@media all and (max-width: 1024px){#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container{width:100%;border-top:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-right:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-bottom:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-left:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);}}@media all and (max-width: 1024px){#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-close svg, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-close svg, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-close svg{width:24px;height:24px;}}@media all and (max-width: 767px){#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-container{width:100%;border-top:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-right:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-bottom:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);border-left:0px solid var(--global-palette3, #1A202C);}#kt-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-close svg, #kt-target-modal19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-close svg, .kb-modal-content19878_ef407f-13 .kt-modal-close svg{width:24px;height:24px;}}<\/style>\n<div class=\"wp-block-kadence-modal aligncenter kt-modal-linkalign-center\" id=\"kt-modal19878_ef407f-13\"><\/div>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Want More?<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Find more scientifically proven tricks to stay connected as a couple, check out:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/connect-with-your-partner\/\">How to Connect With Your Partner: 7 Sweet + Simple Tricks for When You&rsquo;re Busy or Tired<\/a><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><a href=\"https:\/\/happyyouhappyfamily.com\/how-to-reconnect-with-your-spouse\/\">How to Reconnect With Your Spouse Like Magic, According to Science<\/a><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Your Turn<\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>How do you stay connected when real life gets in the way? Share your tip in a comment below!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Inside: Recently, I learned the way I&rsquo;m hugging my husband is all wrong. You probably are too. Here&rsquo;s why, plus how to fix your couple hugging approach. I am not what you would call a &ldquo;hugger.&rdquo; Sure, I hug my close friends and family. But acquaintances and co-workers? Those hugs feel forced and awkward, and&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":6743,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"_kad_post_classname":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6727","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-love"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO Premium plugin v25.0 (Yoast SEO v25.0) - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Why You\u2019re Hugging All Wrong - And How to Fix It<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Recently, I learned the way I&#039;m hugging my husband is all wrong. 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